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#946939 - 03/28/14 12:32 AM TGIF
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30037
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)
~~~~~~~~~~


Corporate Structure


Breakdown of the corporate structure...

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:

Leaps tall building in a single bound

Is more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Discusses policy with God



PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if the sea is calm

Talks with God



EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Is faster than a speeding BB.

Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

Talks with God if special request is approved



VICE PRESIDENT:

Barely clears a Quonset hut

Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive

Can fire a speeding bullet

Swims well

Is occasionally addressed by God



GENERAL MANAGER:

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

Is run over by locomotive

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

Dog paddles

Talks to animals



MANAGER:

Runs into buildings

Recognizes locomotive two out of three times

Is not issued ammunition

Can't stay afloat with a life preserver

Talks to walls



TRAINEE:

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building

Says "look at the choo-choo"

Wets him/herself with a water pistol

Plays in mud puddles

Mumbles to him/herself



SECRETARY:

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the tracks

Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth

Freezes water with a single glance

Is God
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corporate Reality


CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER - What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.
~~~~~~~~

Corporate Stupidity


"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."
(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."
(Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

FINALLY! My D.O. is here and now. yay

I've got a lot of things I need to do, and a few things I want to do. yes

The only question is which ones will get done by the end of the day. think

Time will tell. yes

It's been a hard day's night though, and I need to put it to bed. tired

Sweet dreams everyone. sleep

Have a happy day. rah


joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#946944 - 03/28/14 02:29 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7719
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe and all who follow later. wave
Easter preparations are in order. happydance
Have a very nice day. smile spring
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#946953 - 03/28/14 04:34 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Online   happy
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17215
Loc: Marlborough USA
spring Good Morning Joe and Haroula. Joe have fun on your day off. Haroula enjoy your Easter preparations. Coffee, tea and Hot chocolate are ready! Happy Day All! spring
_________________________
Gerry

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#946963 - 03/28/14 06:37 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14479
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers spring

Joe, enjoy whatever the day brings!

Haroula, have a good time with Easter preparations.

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day! Dog walking before it rains. Warmer weather here finally. yay
_________________________
Gail

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#946969 - 03/28/14 07:07 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8083
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Friends are taking me out to lunch today. We're going to a Chinese Buffet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish and Waffles in the NC. lab
_________________________
Connie

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#946978 - 03/28/14 08:27 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15183
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#946981 - 03/28/14 08:42 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21258
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Good morning ManxMan Connie Gail Gerry Haroula Joe and the rest of the diner gang when you are up and at em yes

Looks like a rainy day for us as I'm off to work .. wishing all of you a ExceptionallyFunandFriendlyFabulousFantasticFriday as Darlene would say laugh

Whoosh...

hearts L4L

wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#946993 - 03/28/14 09:58 AM Re: TGIF [Re: soot]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9375
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and I hope you enjoy your D.O.!

Hey, Soot! Thanks for TheWordOfTheDay! smile

Thank you, all, for birthday wishes for Hubby! smile

It's Friday!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#946997 - 03/28/14 10:04 AM Re: TGIF [Re: soot]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30037
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

We are extremely overcast this morning and expecting some rain today. yay

Yesterday we were all the way up in the 80s. It was still 68 when I got home last night after 10:00.

Today is suppose to stay around 60 and we are there already. crazy

I have to go to Walmart in a bit to stock up on dry goods. wink

If it rains of course I won't be doing much else but staying inside and gaming. razz

I hope it's a fantastic day for everyone here. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#947008 - 03/28/14 11:18 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65045
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! Second day of waking to snow, sleet and rain. THankfully it doesn't stick for more than a half hour. We are almost snow free here except for the plowed piles. Now we need to dry out. The ground can't take any more water. My poor pups are really itching to go for a run so it looks like they will get a muddy wet run today.

The rest of my day is in the corner.

Enjoy whatever the day brings everyone! hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#947013 - 03/28/14 11:42 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13659
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy the day off!! thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula have fun with the prep work! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail hope you get your walk in before the rain. Have a lovely day!

Connie enjoy the time out with friends and the lunch. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Soot may work fly and go well. The weekend is about on us. Have a lovely day!

Ana have a nice run with the dogs and I pray that you remain upright the whole time. May the corner be kind. Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Abbi should be here soon!

wave
Nan

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#947016 - 03/28/14 11:51 AM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9548
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Welcome to the weekend everyone. happydance
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#947023 - 03/28/14 12:14 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42310
Loc: Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll lab

Wet,icky, gray day here. Cool at the moment but supposed to be 70 before the day is out. I'm waiting to hear from AU..Seagy spent the night in the hospital there. They have 2 full time nurses and a doctor in the room with the doggies all night. They have her full of meds and hydrated. Waiting to hear back the results of the pancreatic ultrsound.

Lil Soot is trolling us. He ate a toy and so has been throwing up now and then for a couple of days. You would think he'd eventually get the connection (eat wooden or plastic items, have a stomach ache), but apparently not. Have a call in to my other vet so I can pick up some tummy med for him.

Anyway, today is major book cooking for me. Gotta find money....there must be some in there somewhere wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#947028 - 03/28/14 01:38 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7252
Loc: San Diego, CA
Fun and games yesterday while my yard kid was working here. After looking at my caller list (I only have it on computer) I discovered his 'sister in law', who he lives with, called my number 37 times in 40 minutes! She finally got through after my long-winded friend hung up. She asked if he was still there, and I told her he went to his friend's house (just up the block). She knew the friend's name and I confirmed. I asked if she wanted me to give him a message if he dropped back by and she didn't want to. Weird. Had no idea she tried so many times 'pyscho calling'. I think she was just trying to find out whose number was on his phone. Yup, she's a creepy lady. Always checking up on him. Guess she thought I might be some girlfriend or something. Dunno. Just plain weird to call that many times and not wanna have me walk a few doors up to find him. Creeeeepy!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#947038 - 03/28/14 02:34 PM Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65045
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
So much for a quick trip to the grocery store. I had one of those half carts that are tinier and was walking to the parking lot to my car and there was a large crack going across the lot and both wheels went in it and the cart flipped forward and I completely fell over the cart. Gouged and bruised my shin and it's throbbing. A store employee was out there and saw the whole thing and came running. THat was a trip! lol

L4L, praying for Seagy. puppy
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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