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#948097 - 04/02/14 11:39 PM Thursdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30023
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.
Olive Schreiner (1855 - 1920)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The truths about life, that little children have learnt:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

The great truths about life, that adults have learnt:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great truths about growing old:

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Booze Quotes
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
- Timothy Walsh

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- Anonymous

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
- W.C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
- Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
- Winston Churchill

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
- Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- Humphrey Bogart

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
- Homer Simpson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Product and company slogans that really never quite gaught on too well...


Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."

Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"

Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."

MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."

Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid."

Iguana: "The other green meat."

[blip] Enlargement Specialists: "It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing!"

Nike: "Just buy the [blip] shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"

Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years."

Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!"

Pepto Bismol: "Squash the Squirts!"

Trojans: "Just add meat."

Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"

Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Abby,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them.

I try to stay awake and watch for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls."
When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my Taylor Made 460 driver.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the PGA Superstore?

Signed...
Concerned Golfer
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

HO HO HO! Imma sooooo hoppy. penguin

Just for the fun of it I'm going to call work and tell them I'm not coming in today. snicker

I'm sure they'll say no problem, just don't be late tomorrow. rolleyes

Sometimes my humor gets lost in translation. snicker

I really shouldn't say that though, when you consider I'm talking to a manager. razz

They are all born without a sense of humor. mad

I don't know how they function at all.

Many of them are also born without a spine. dance

Speaking of missing bones, my legs are feeling all wobbly. I'd better get to bed.

It takes me a while to crawl all the way back to my room.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#948101 - 04/03/14 01:17 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7656
Loc: Greece
Have a happy day too Joe and all. happydance smile wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#948107 - 04/03/14 03:27 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6044
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who follow me in waveCoffee is ready!Wishing you all a great day spring
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#948111 - 04/03/14 05:19 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14633
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning.What an experience I've had for the past 3 days. I'm recouping from vertigo. I couldn't even stand up without getting very dizzy. I hope I never have that problem again. Yesterday I had to call 911 to get to the hospital for some help. After being examined by a doctor, given a few injections, I was able to rest there for about 6 hours. I managed to convince the doctor that I was OK to go home as my son came and brought me home and picked up my scripts for nausea and vertigo. Boy, I was glad I called 911 people. I live on the 3rd floor here in my building and I knew I couldn't walk down all those stairs. It was so hard to sit in their chair and let them carry me down. But today I'm feeling better today and it's safe to say I won't be doing anything strenuous for the day. I'll have to work tomorrow morning but I'm sure I'll be well enough to go. If not, I'll call my boss and ask for one more day.

Are we having fun yet to quote our Ana? Hope you all have a good day today.

Midgie hearts spring dance
_________________________
Just do it.

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#948112 - 04/03/14 05:21 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17147
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe i hope work flies by for you. Enjoy the spring day haroula. Cailyn thanks for the coffee. How are you? You're up awfully early. Wishing everyone a peaceful day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#948122 - 04/03/14 06:23 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14426
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day!

Ana, girls are off on Easter week for Spring break.

Sue, bring on the coffee please! Thanks.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Midge, please take care today. Glad you're feeling better but that was a scary experience.

Gerry, wishing you a good day!

Dog walking this morning. Maybe get some bike exercise. Trip to BJ's this afternoon. Everyone have a great day! spring
_________________________
Gail

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#948123 - 04/03/14 06:45 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8069
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. Midge, Prayers you are feeling OK today. Ana, I'm hanging in there, but it's not easy. I never knew anything could hurt this much. cry Danish and French Toast in the NC. lab
_________________________
Connie

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#948135 - 04/03/14 10:04 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: connie]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9365
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a fabulous Thursdiner!

Oh, Midgie! What a scare! So glad you are feeling better! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#948140 - 04/03/14 10:44 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64920
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! It's a stormy day here and Merlin is huddled by me wearing his thundershirt. He's such a baby. puppy I will be heading to class in a bit and then I will meet Sam for lunch. After that I should have what I need to get back in the corner.

Joe, hope your day goes smoothly. Your customers must love your sense of humor! That is why you can make so many sales.

Haroula, have a happy day!

Sue, how is everything in your corner of the world?

Midgie, how awful! So glad you are home now and feeling a bit better. Don't push yourself. Do you know what caused it? Be well my friend hearts

Gerry, is your snow melted?

Gail, enjoy your day.

Connie, I can't imagine how difficult it must be. I hope that you have family and friends nearby for support. You are in my thoughts.

Darlene, almost Friday! yay

Have a wonderful day everyone!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#948150 - 04/03/14 11:55 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13639
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy your day off and have a fun day! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Sue I hope you can get a quick nap in today! Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Aw Midge HUGS! That surely had to have been a scarey thing! So glad you are better and please take it easy today and don't push yourself. hearts

Gail have a nice walk with the dogs and have a lovely day!

Connie HUGS!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work all go smoothly and the time fly! Have a lovely day!

Ana enjoy class and lunch out with Sam! Run between those rain drops and stay dry! lol Have a lovely day!

I on the other hand will be welcoming Old Man Winter back from his two day vacation. lol 6-14 more inches of snow today through tomorrow evening. think Wonder if fish fry will be???? Time will tell.

wave
Nan

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#948158 - 04/03/14 01:04 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7221
Loc: San Diego, CA
Poor Midge! I know how that vertigo feels. I had it a few years back and it was like I was drunk. The world was spinning when I moved my head. I fell over in the garden and barely missed hitting my head on an old toilet that I'm using as a planter. Went to doc and she asked a bunch of questions and determined it was the little thingies in my inner ear that were all 'clumped together'. I never knew the inner ear had thingies to clump. rotfl Anyway, she gave me a paper with 'exercises' on it that involved sitting up, leaning over to one side, sitting up again, then leaning the other way. She said it would realign the thingies. Sounded stupid, but after 2 days of doing the silly exercise, I no longer was dizzy. She said she only knew what it was because she herself had the same thing. Funny.

Hope your problem is as easy to fix. Not fun to feel awful and the world spinning around. Feel better soon!

Bank today. Depositing money from rentals and going to eat somewhere fun. Will decide on the fly. I'm so tired of food that nothing sounds yummy. Maybe an exotic place with lots of choices. All my favorite Oriental places have closed or moved out of range and I'm having Fried Rice withdrawals!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#948165 - 04/03/14 01:29 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2083
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Well, ShemerBaby is home from the vet's and is one happy cat to wallow in familar surroundings. He's endured a front chest shave and is 1 antibiotic shot and a bit of ear mite meds heavier. What I thought were barbed wire wounds are really cat bites and 2 bites at that. They healed over but opened again and now are draining and bleeding -the poor cat. We will know by next Monday if things are healing well. If not it's an operation and he won't like that at all.

Just popped a red baron pizza in the oven. Hope it's good. I usually make my own but.........getting lazy. Play Station 4 doesn't help with household chores either.

It's a lovely day. 70's and 80's and thunder showers this PM.

Happy Thursday all -Thursday already?!!
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#948193 - 04/03/14 04:21 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7656
Loc: Greece
Midgie flowers
sleep wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#948222 - 04/03/14 08:31 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Haroula]
Space Quest Fan Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9520
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good night boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#948227 - 04/03/14 09:48 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14633
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi friends. I've been moving very slowly today. Still a bit light headed but nothing like the past three days. I'm gonna go to work in the morning and head out to my chiropractor in the afternoon to see if he can make me feel any better. I'm still not 100% back yet. I feel like I've been drugged. Ick! I hate this feeling.

Gonna find my pillow now. Sleep well all.

Midgie hearts sleep
_________________________
Just do it.

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#948229 - 04/03/14 10:04 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: Midge]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30023
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Hey everyone how's it going? happydance

I had a super day. It started out very dark, and we got around a half inch of hard rain. bravo

It was so hard it felt like rocks falling from the sky. grin

Maybe this one did fall from the sky. yay

However it got here, I went out this afternoon and found it. thumbsup

It made my whole weekend. penguin

Tomorrow I go back for Friday, Sat. Sun. and then I'm off for a whole week. penguin

I hope your day was awesome as well. yes

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#948230 - 04/03/14 10:05 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15100
Loc: Unionville
Good night boomers sleep
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#948232 - 04/03/14 10:33 PM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64920
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good evening boomies! Sam and I spent the afternoon together and Peter and I spent the evening together. He just left. Awesome day! yay

Nan, winter just doesn't want to leave! I am sorry you are still getting snow. I'm sick of cold and just want sunshine and warm air.

Sorta, hope you found something fun to eat!

Yankee, I hope ShermerBaby is okay now with meds. Poor kitty.

Haroula, sleep

SpaceQ, almost Friday!

Midgie, I hope the chiropractor helps you!

Joe, congrats on the find! So awesome!

manxman, have a great night!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#948242 - 04/04/14 12:15 AM Re: Thursdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13639
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Ana sounds like you had a perfect day!! happydance The snow is already as deep as Sassy is tall in places so two steps out and two steps back. lol AND we have all night and all day tomorrow to go.

Time to find my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep
Nan

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