I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.
Lillian Carter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hotel Bill An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago 's most expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
''But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Los Angeles , and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. " But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00." '
'That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
~~~~~~~~~~~
BABY BOOMER GAME MEMORY TEST!
(Have a paper and pencil handy to record your answers.. Your mind isn't as sharp as it once was!) This is NOT a pushover test. It's a Baby Boomer era test!
There are 20 questions. Average score is 12 .
This one will be difficult for the younger set. (DUDE!)
Have fun, but no peeking!
When you forward this to your friends/family ,
Put your score in the subject line and let them know your score .
Don't forget to forward it to me , as well.
Good luck, youngsters , 1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil
2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson.
B. Roy Orbison..
C. Gene Autry.
D. Rudolph Valentino.
E. Fabian.
F. Mickey Mantle.
G. Cassius Clay.
3. ! Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and....
A. It's you.
B. He is us.
C. It's the Grinch.
D. He wasn't home.
E. He's really me and you.
F. We quit.
G. He surrendered.
4. Good night, David.
A.. Good night, Chet
B. Sleep well.
C. Good night, Irene.
D.. Good night, Gracie.
E. See you later, alligator.
F. Until tomorrow.
G. Good night, Steve..
5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons.
C. When you clean your tub.
D. If you paint the room blue.
E. If you buy a soft water tank.
F. When you use Lady Clairol.
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend...
A. Stuart Whitman.
B Randolph Scott.
C. Steve Reeves..
D. Maynard G. Krebs.
E. Corky B. Dork.
F. Dave the Whale.
G. Zippy Zoo.
7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar.
B. Your nose is growing.
C. Pants on fire.
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher.
F. On the wire.
G. I'm telling Mom.
8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and.....
A. Wheaties.
B. Lois Lane .
C. TV ratings.
D. World peace.
E. Red tights.
F. The American way.
G. News headlines.
9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear.
B It's time to do your homework.
C. It's Howdy Doody Time.
D. It's time for Romper Room.
E. It's bedtime.
F... The Mighty Mouse Hour..
G. Scoopy Doo Time..
10. Lions and tigers and bears..! ..
A. Yikes.
B. Oh, no..
C. Gee whiz.
D. I'm scared...
E. Oh my.
F.. Help! Help!
G. Let's run.
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone....
A. Over 40.
B. Wearing a uniform.
C.. Carrying a briefcase.
D. Over 30.
E. You don't know.
F. Who says, 'Trust me'..
G. Who eats tofu.
12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings...
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway
13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on.
B. You'll smell great.
C. Tame that cowlick.
D. Grease ball heaven.
E. It's a dream.
F. We're your team.
G. A littl e dab'll do ya.
14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins.
B. With my man, Bill.
C. Down at the mill.
D. Over the windowsill.
E. With thyme and dill.
F. Too late to enjoy.
G. On Blueberry Hill.
15.. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Clark Gable.
B. Mary Martin.
C. Doris Day.
D. Errol Flynn.
E. Sally Fields.
F. Jim Carrey.
G. Jay Leno.
16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?
18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli.
B. Cause I eats me spinach.
C. Cause I lift weights.
D. Cause I'm the hero.
E. And don't you for get it.
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
G. To outlast Bruto.
19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today.
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera.
B. Smile, you're on Star Search.
C. Smile, you won the lottery.
D. Smile, we're watching you.
E. Smile, the world sees you.
F. Smile, you're a hit.
G. Smile, you're on TV.
20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy.!
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
C. Make you fat.
D.. Melt your heart.
E... Make you popular.
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
G. Come in colors.
Below are the right answers:
1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebs
7. C - Pants on fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh my
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20.. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gentle Thoughts for Today Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then poop on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
~~~~~~~~~
Good beautiful morning everyboomie.
Or is it good morning every beautiful boomie?
It is Monday, and that makes perfect sense since yesterday was Sunday. All is right with the world.
Except for one thing that is.
I go back to work today.
I have to bid a fond farewell to all the frolicking good times until my next vacation.
I hope they write.
There is a storm approaching us. It doesn't look like it will last long, but you never know when you might lose power, so Ima gonna get this thing on the board now.
Better safe than in the dark.
Have a happy day everybody.
joe