Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
Philip G. Hamerton, "The Intellectual Life"
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IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.
When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel.
When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.
I could sit on the couch and my bed the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.
I would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation.
I would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as I put their yet unborn grandkids through college.
The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave it ALONE.
My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.
I would not talk 'baby talk'. 'Eat your din din'. 'Yummy yummy for the tummy'...
My house would not look like a day care center, toys everywhere.
My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.
I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L,, W-A-L-K,, T-R-E-A-T,,
O-U-T,, G-O,, R-I-D-E,, C-O-O-K-I-E.
I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog/cat ties them down too much.
I'd look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading 'mud' season.
I would not have to answer the question
'Why do you have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an ANGEL as they will ever get.
How EMPTY my life would be!!!
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RETIRED/BORED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
We offer the suggestion that you fulfill your needs at Walmart in the future.
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry...
You, who worry about democrats versus republicans -- relax, here is our real problem.
In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.
The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"
Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! They breed and they walk among US...
Lord--we need more help than we thought we did!
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Good morning everyboomie.
It's Tuesday number.....
.......350 something something.......give or take a leap year......minus a week I may have taken off once.........a long time ago.
At any rate we've had many Tuesdays, and I want to sing a very special song that I wrote to differentiate this Tuesday from all the rest.
Here goes;
Happy Tuesday to you
Happy Tuesday to you
Happy Tuesday dear Boomers
Happy Tuesday to you
and many more.....
The best thing about having many more Tuesdays is that we have to have many more Monday nights as well........like tonight.
I love nights. They're a great time to catch up on my sleep.
The funny thing is, no matter how much I sleep, I'm still always trying to catch up.
Maybe all that catching up is what is tiring me out to begin with. Hmmmmm
Oh well, there's nothing wrong with being tired.
In fact I usually sleep better when I'm tired.
Have a happy day everyone.
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witter
Good Morning Joe and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Enjoy your day everyone! 
My poor shrimp azeala plant that is just getting ready to bloom is not going to like that. 
I hope you all have a fantastic day!
