If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.
Buddha (563 BC - 483 BC)
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My friend Kevin got philosophical one day and was telling me how Life is a gamble. The word 'gamble' sparked off a series of quotes and thoughts. Then the topic steered to men gambling more than women.
Kevin had an explanation for women gambling less than men. He said, "Marriage gratifies their natural instinct for gambling!"
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Monty Green, the enterprising partner of Monty & Dexter, a clothing company, was going through a bad phase. Caught at the wrong end of the recession, business had reached rock-bottom and there were debts to pay. The stress was dreadful and Monty Green was losing sleep over it. Though he would come home tired and worn out every day, he found it difficult to get sleep. As the days went by, getting sleep became more and more challenging.
Monty decided he had to do something about his sleep, or rather the lack of it. He made up his mind to try different remedies to get some sleep. He tried listening to soothing music and some instrumental music on the saxophone. It didn't work.
He tried taking hot shower just before bedtime but it didn't work either.
He tried exercising but that too did not work.
He tried sleeping pills but no luck.
He met his old friend Donald and told him about his problem. He asked Donald for suggestions. Donald asked him to try the oldest remedy that ever was - to count sheep jumping over a fence.
Monty said to himself, "Why didn't I think of it before. Surely, this is the most trusted remedy for lack of sleep.Need to try it out tonight."
The next morning, Monty called his friend Donald and asked if he could meet him.
When Donald arrived, he saw Monty in the same state as he had seen before. Donald commented, "Obviously it didn't work."
Monty replied, "It didn't. I started counting sheep immediately after lying down on the bed. Didn't get any sleep. But boy, did I count sheep. I counted 4500 without getting tired. Had to try something else. So I started shearing 'em. Didn't help - I was still wide awake. Not the one to give up, I dyed the wool that I had sheared. No sleep. I spun it. No sleep. I made smart jackets out of 'em. Do you have any idea how tiring this kind of work can get. I started getting sleepy. Then it all went wrong!"
Donald asked, "What went wrong??"
Monty replied, "I was awake for the rest of the night trying to figure out where to get four thousand five hundred silk linings from!"
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Jim and Joe are enjoying their Sunday at the beach.
Jim complains to Joe, "I am not having a good time. The girls are not noticing me."
Joe says, "I have a solution. Why don't you put a Banana in your swim shorts. It would help."
So Jim does what he is told and complains to Joe again after some time."I did what you asked me to do but it's no good."
Joe chuckled and said, "Jim, you are supposed to put it in the front!"
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Bruno loves mountain climbing, so off he goes scaling heights in the Himalayas. He is almost at the peak of the mountain, when his slips and plunges down. He falls thirty feet, when he grabs on to a bush that is protruding out of a rock.
Bruno looks shown and shudders when he sees the depth. It looks to him that death is imminent. His hands begin to slip and he starts losing his grip on the bush.
In desperation, Bruno cries out loud, "Is anyone up there who can help me?"
Just then, a voice booms from the skies, "Bruno, I am God. Have faith in me. Let go of that bush.I will protect you."
Bruno looks down at the depth again, and then looks up and says, "Is anyone else up there?"
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Christopher popped the question to Lydia, his girlfriend of 4 years. "Will you marry me?"
The next thing you know is that they are married and on the way to Venice for their honeymoon.
When they are back home, Christopher gets back to normal life. One fine morning, he is cleaning his golf club and looking forward to join his buddies at the golf course, when Lydia comes to him and says, "Chris, we are married now and I think you should give up sports like golfing as it is such a waste of time!"
Christopher can't believe what he just heard, and gives her a look of disbelief.
Lydia says, Huh, did i say something wrong?"
Christopher says, "For a second, I thought that was my ex-wife talking."
Now its Lydia's turn to be shocked and she yells, "Ex wife! You never told you were married before!"
Christopher replies, "I wasn't!"
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Good morning everyboomie.
I've been partying all night.
Ever seen a one man party before?
Talk about wild!!
I danced with Pepper AND Baby both at the same time, one dance after another.
Right now I'm having to potty now over and over, because I drank so much.........................milk.
I even won the karaoke contest.
But now it's after midnight, and WAY past my bedtime.
I hope I don't have a milk hangover tomorrow.
They're always so brutal.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe