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Tuesday's #978639
09/16/14 01:06 AM
09/16/14 01:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AGE ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD:

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it goes . . .

I decide to clean off the front patio. I start to the patio and notice mail on the desk that needs to be taken down to the Post Office. OK, I'm going to the Post Office . . .

BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail that was delivered. I lay the car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk . . .

BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out. But since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills . . . Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops.. there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there is my empty coffee cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks . . .

BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I start to head for the kitchen and look out at my balcony, notice the flowers need a drink of water because of the extreme heat. I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter.

What are they doing here? I'll just put them away . . .

BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and . . .

Aaaagh!!! Someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants on my balcony . . .

BUT FIRST I need to find those checks.

END OF DAY: The patio has not been cleaned, bills still unpaid, cup still on the counter, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys . . .

And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because . . .

I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!

I realize this condition is serious . . .

I'd get help . . .

BUT FIRST . . . I think I'll check my e-mail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It takes me way way too blooming long get my shower, cook something to eat, and get on here and post a few jokes. rolleyes


Shucks I got off at 10:00, and now it is 12:00. slapforehead


Golly gee whiz Jethro Ah'm tard. tired


Howz about we all meet back here at about 8:00.....ish, for coffee, and round table discussions on the effects of hard slave labor on a 63 year old body. snicker


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup




joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978640
09/16/14 01:14 AM
09/16/14 01:14 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe loland all. wave
Have a happy day. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: Haroula] #978660
09/16/14 04:31 AM
09/16/14 04:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who are to follow waveCoffee is ready I'll keep it hot!! Have a great day all puppy


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978664
09/16/14 05:22 AM
09/16/14 05:22 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Haroua and Sue. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! cat wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978668
09/16/14 05:32 AM
09/16/14 05:32 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a great day Joe, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry and all who come in after me. wave

So it turns out that I once again have no idea where my home store is going to be. Basically we were told something like, "Remember what we told you about where everyone was going? Forget all of that." Are you kidding me?! insane This is the second time this has happened. First I was told I was getting the perfect store for me, then I was told that, well, no one actually knows anything for sure. Then I was told I was getting the two closest stores, and now once again, no one actually knows. I really wish they would stop dangling options and taking them away. Hopefully it will all work out in the end, and I'll get those stores anyway, but I'm not enjoying this back and forth in the meantime. hardwall

Anyway, I have to rush off to that far away training store this morning, so I better stop typing now. lol Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978676
09/16/14 05:52 AM
09/16/14 05:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
Good Morning venus. I'll keep my fingers crossed you get the stores you want! Happy Day! wave wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978683
09/16/14 06:57 AM
09/16/14 06:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a great day! lol

Ana, are you experiencing less pain?

Haroula, happy day to you.

Sue, hot coffee, yes indeed! happydance

Gerry, enjoy the day!

Venus, hope they make up their minds pretty soon. That has to be extremely frustrating for you. hearts

Nan, how's Sassy doing?

Connie, see you when you get here.

To all who come into the Diner today I'm wishing a peaceful, happy day! catrub


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978692
09/16/14 07:33 AM
09/16/14 07:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. A trip to the thrift stores is in the cards today. After that lunch at our favorite Mexican place, it's Taco Tuesday. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Waffles in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978698
09/16/14 08:20 AM
09/16/14 08:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday. smile
I'm off to finish Arcania-The Complete Tale wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978699
09/16/14 08:20 AM
09/16/14 08:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Connie, enjoy your Tacos.


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: GBC] #978708
09/16/14 09:53 AM
09/16/14 09:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sounds like yesterday was a loooonnnnggg day. Hope your Tuesday is far more terrific!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Wedding looming! Three more days! hearts woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978721
09/16/14 11:30 AM
09/16/14 11:30 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
What a beauty morning -78 and holding and bright sun.

Yesterday my only c C Crane radio broke and at first it's disaster but now -a day later- it's so quiet and it's kinda nice. But since I don't have TV and live way out in the woods I should have a link to world events besides PC news so I've ordered another C C Crane radio, a cat decal for my car that says catastic and britta filters, no games because the ones out now look ho-hum. Except for the decal it's kinda of dull order. I believe that last C C Crane was 18 years old. I should remove the back, maybe it's just cat hair. Years ago I fixed a CD player and surprising how mechanical it was.

Yummy smacker-oo it's hair cut day -we all emerge from Tana's Shoppe of Beauty looking princesses, for a few days anyway.

Happy Tuesday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978722
09/16/14 11:38 AM
09/16/14 11:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Hey Joe! I was going to read your post but first I had to go feed the cats...and you know the rest. rotfl Thanks for that one. It really fits me. Ugh. Now where did I put that can of cat food?

Finally got in gear and typed in a message to our 'seeclickfix' website that several local authorities handle for misc. neighborhood problems. There is a guy who doesn't live on our street who parked his pick up truck with a long low trailer on it in JULY. He came back in August and took it away for 2 days and then right back. He disables something under the hood, then walks past my house and around the corner. The second time I saw him, he walked 100 feet up my long driveway, past my house towards my tenant's. It's a dead end (halfway to the next street). I think he might have been looking for a shortcut to HIS street. OR he might have been seeing if he could see his truck from the 2-story condos on the street behind. Would be a great 'lookout' for him. Anyway. It's been almost another month now and I'm tired of having my view of the 'empty old guy's house' blocked. Can't see if people are jumping the fence at night. 3 times with police burglary calls, they asked me if that truck had anything to do with the break-ins. I told them the story about the guy. They did nothing to get it removed even though our street has a max 72 hour parking limit. I think this guy has sorta exceeded that one. So hopefully they will send someone to tag it, find the owner and get the truck gone. Limited parking in apartment and condo lots around here and most CHARGE for the parking so tenants park on the streets. Very crowded streets and empty apartment lots. Stupid. Going to check now to see if anything is in progress. Hopefully he won't just move it in front of MY house. Can of worms about to happen?

Going nuts with Big Brother TV. They blacked out the live feeds since yesterday morning and they wont' be on till late tonight. Doing something for the final 2 weeks with recording. I hope they aren't coaching the contestants. I'd be very unhappy if someone we thought was done for, is suddenly the top runner to win. Speculations are rampant.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978727
09/16/14 12:02 PM
09/16/14 12:02 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe I think you been watching me. lol Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Sue thanks for the hot coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

venus it will all come out in the ironing and I pray you will be working at the stores that you really want. I'm sure they will put you where you will do the best for them! Have a lovely day!

Gail Sassy is doing wonderful and loving our walks! How is Nina? Does she like to take long walks too? Hope all is well with you also! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for always being here and leaving all those goodies in the corner for us. Don't know what I would do with out those delish danish!! Enjoy your taco lunch and happy shopping! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene are you all getting excited??? Wow only three more days!!! May work all go smoothly and you ahve a lovely day!

Yankee enjoy the new CC Radio and the decal for the car!! Have a lovely day!

Sorta hope you are successful at having that truck and trailer removed from your block! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978763
09/16/14 04:10 PM
09/16/14 04:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Good day all! I've been in the corner all day and about to take a break to vacuum and then go grocery shopping with Sam.


I hope you all are having a good day!

Gail, some days are better than others. grin Thanks for asking hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978764
09/16/14 04:23 PM
09/16/14 04:23 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978792
09/16/14 10:19 PM
09/16/14 10:19 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Afternoon, and now Evening Space wave

Son and kids are off to bed and I shall follow! 2 days till hubby gets home happydance

Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #978795
09/16/14 10:49 PM
09/16/14 10:49 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Looking forward to my day off tomorrow. rah Hair appointment then coffee and tea with a friend at Duncan donuts. Looking forward to that. Ana kissy Thinking of you.

See you when I show up in the diner in the morning. Night all.

idgie hearts sleep


Just do it.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Midge] #978796
09/16/14 10:50 PM
09/16/14 10:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
See you tomorrow Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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