It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap—FIX IT!!!
~Lewis Black~
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When a woman I know turned 99 years old, I went to her birthday party and took some photos. A few days later, I brought the whole batch of prints to her so she could choose her favorite.
"Good Lord," she said as she was flipping through them, "I look like I’m a hundred."
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My grandfather has a knack for looking on the bright side of life. Even after receiving the terrible diagnosis that he had Alzheimer’s, he was philosophical.
"There’s one good thing that’ll come from this," he told my father.
"What’s that?" asked Dad.
"Now I can hide my own Easter eggs."
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One of the English classes I taught at Deltona high school in Florida consisted of a particularly well-motivated group of juniors. Students felt free to ask questions on any subject that concerned them.
One afternoon a girl raised her hand and asked me to explain all the talk about a woman’s "biological clock." After I’d finished, there was a moment of silence, and then another hand shot up.
"Mrs. Woodard," a student asked, "is your clock still ticking, or has the alarm gone off?"
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Rock concerts are a little different now than when I was younger. Recently, I went to a concert with some friends. As the band started to play a ballad, we instinctively raised our cigarette lighters, like all good rock fans I grew up with. But looking around me, I noticed that times had indeed changed.
The mostly under-25 crowd was swaying to the upraised glow of their cell phones.
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Fans of ’60s music, my 14-year-old daughter and her best friend got front-row tickets to a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. When they returned home, my daughter said, "During the show, we looked back and saw hundreds of little lights swaying to the music. At first we thought the people were holding up cigarette lighters. Then we realized that the lights were the reflections off all the eyeglasses in the audience."
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Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. "In ten years," I said, "you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now."
Carolyn shrugged. "In ten years you’ll be too old to do all those things anyway."
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Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. They often draw scrutiny, since my son’s a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.
The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally he asked, "Those your kids?"
"They sure are," I said with pride.
"They adopted?"
"Yes," I replied.
"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you’re too old to have kids that small."
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I had just had my 50th birthday and found the decade marker traumatic. When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it.
"You mean I have to look at this for the next four years?" I jokingly said to her.
"Don’t worry about it," she replied. "In four years it’ll look good to you."
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I had laryngitis and finally decided to go to the doctor. After the nurse called for me, she asked my age. "Forty-nine," I whispered.
"Don’t worry," she whispered back. "I won’t tell anyone."
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I was having trouble with the idea of turning thirty and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead.
"Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband.
"What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?"
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Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see they were of a younger, slimmer me taken on one of my first dates with my husband.
When I showed him the photographs, his face lit up. "Wow! It’s my old Plymouth."
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Good morning everyboomie.
This week is just zipping right along.
I feel like such a beggar it's unbelievable. I spent most of the day on my hands and knees in the kitchen.
I had to run in to Lowe's again this morning. I bought a portable table saw for flooring. I decided I really needed it for the job.
I spent all afternoon doing leveling on the old floor. The depression in the middle of my kitchen was deeper than I thought.
I still haven layed one piece of flooring.
We've had thunder storms all afternoon. More thunder than storm. It rains a little bit on and off.
Missy is having fits.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe