“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
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Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other one says, "I’m a big metal fan."
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My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.
Well, she's in for a shock.
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A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
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A boy asks his Dad one day, "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"
His Dad replies, "Because she was conceived in Paris."
The boy says, "Ahh, thanks Dad."
His Dad says, "You're welcome, Backseat."
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Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot.
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The mother who injected her 8 year-old child with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.
Her daughter didn’t look surprised.
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What do you call an imaginary color?
A pigment of your imagination.
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I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and said, "Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?"
I said, "What are the options?"
She said, "Yes and No."
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My girlfriend isn’t talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that – I didn’t even know it was her birthday…
~~
I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta.
Now it’s a Ford Focus.
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When does a joke become a Dad joke?
When it becomes fully groan.
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My friend has got a butler who only has one arm.
Serves him right.
~~
My favorite color is purple.
I like it more than blue and red combined.
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What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?
No whey Jose.
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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said, "No, wait! I can change."
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My girlfriend has her own taser.
She’s a real stunner…
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What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
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I asked my girlfriend if she’d like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends.
She said, "Ooh, yes."
I said, "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to your weekend!
Here is your Saturday diner for your reading pleasure.
We have another stupendously awesome day in store here.
Today I washed my truck real good. Spent several hours on it. I figure half a day, once a year, is well worth the effort.
Now, I haven't done a bit of gaming today, and for some reason I'm suddenly getting hungry, so.......Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Coffee and tea are ready.
Shopping, then working the kitchen for our dinner at the Eagles. Danish, Eggs, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. 
