A well known saying fits each of the following strange situations. The saying could be an adage, a famous line from a story or play, or something colloquial. The saying often fits the situation only by using homonyms, homophones, synonyms, or by warping the original meaning of the saying.
-1. Jack liked to jog along a trail near a nuclear reactor. His wife, boss, doctor, & best friend each warned him that this could be dangerous. He didn't listen, though, & now he has an additional arm growing from each of his sides.
-2. Mike cooks a meal that he calls Hope, which consists of bacon, eggs, pancakes, & grits. He greatly enjoyed this meal one morning, but when he fixed it again the next evening, it tasted terrible.
-3. Julie's husband ran over their rake with a lawnmower. After bending the rake back into shape, Julie secretly pretended to be married to the rake, which proved to be a superior experience to her real marriage.
-4. Alfonzo lived just outside of the town of Soared, until he passed away a couple of years ago.
-5. Jake, Mark, Steady, Ron, & Slow ran in a race, & Steady & Slow tied for first place.
-6. John & Joan were behind on paying their bills. Strangely enough, a man dressed as the Grim Reaper showed up one Halloween with receipts proving that he had paid all of their bills. (D---- p--- a-- d----)
-7. Tom Sullivan & his friend Meyer Weiner were at the Academy Awards. When a beautiful actress who Tom was very fond of won an award & went on the stage to receive her statuette, she kissed it. Tom then turned & said something to his friend.
-8. The children at Sagacity Elementary School are very good about playing together during recess. However, they never allow one boy, Well Enough, to participate, & they never speak to him or have anything to do with him.
-9. Little Sarah had been enjoying a couple of lollipops, but her mother told her to stop, or it would ruin her dinner. Sarah became angry, & pressed the two lollipops together. When they dried, they were connected to one another. (I- y-- c--'- l--- t---, j--- t---)
-10. Al owed quite a bit of money to the mob. One day three gangsters pulled him into an alley as he was walking by. Of the three mobsters, Stones was a six foot, 250 lb. ruffian, Sticks was a former heavyweight boxer who stayed in shape, & Names was a four foot tall, 98 pound criminal who was opposed to violence.
-11. While Eric was baby-sitting his 4 younger brothers & sisters, he put in ear plugs, but was careful to watch them very closely.
-12. Sherri Fiddle went to the tennis court to meet her boyfriend, Bo, for a game. Bo didn't show up, so Sherri didn't get to play tennis that day. (T-- f----- c----- p--- w------ t-- b--)
-13. Lilly was a contestant on the Press Your Luck Game Show. She had to pick between 3 boxes, one of which contained several nice prizes. She would only receive the prizes if she picked the box that contained them, so she picked the smallest box, & won.
-14. During a minor earthquake, a crack developed all the way across the middle of Rick's home. The home immediately collapsed. *A h---- d------ c----- s----)
-15. I was telling my dad about Lendon Best the other day, & he interjected that he had met him before. (F----- k---- b---)
-16. Todd has been losing his hair. He lost exactly one ounce of hair last month, & Josh simultaneously grew an ounce of hair during the same time period.
-17. Bob was riding through the woods on his way to town to purchase some supplies, including a nail. During the ride, his shoe fell off. He dismounted to retrieve the shoe, & his horse ran away. He ran after the horse, only to find that he had become lost in the woods.
-18. As Bob was trying to find his way out of the woods, he grabbed & twig & bent it out of frustration. Suddenly, a tree next to him grew several inches. (A- t-- t--- i- b--- s- g---- t-- t---)
-19. Bob was so surprised at the fast growing tree that he began to rub his hand on a large oak tree. The tree suddenly fell over, as did several oak trees near it. (L----- s------ f--- g---- o---)
-20. Surviving several bizarre occurrences, Bob finally got his bearings, & determined that if he took a nearby trail that was so narrow that it could only be traveled on foot, he would cut a mile off of his walk into town, where he would have to purchase his supplies, a new pair of shoes, & a horse. Before embarking on this trail, a woman rode up, & asked him if he wanted to ride with her into town. "Are you married?" Bob asked. "Why, no," answered the woman, as she blushed with a surprised smile. (A m--- i- a- g--- a- a m---)
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