Hello Boomers, hope everything is well with you and thank you so much for your kind words. I have been lurking on the forum for a while but felt unable to post as my mental health has taken quite a tumble due to circumstances here.

First off though, hubby is doing okay. He is eating well, and has gained some weight. He is not in as much pain as he was, so not so dependent on morphine. He had an end-of-treatment CT scan done in July and we are STILL waiting on the result of that. I phoned his consultant's secretary to try to find out what was going on, to be told the result was in and had been sitting on file since 20th August. She was going to print it off and give it to consultant next day. Later that day, she phoned us back to tell us that someone has ordered a PET scan for hubby but that there is a 4-week wait for it. Apparently the request had just come in that morning. I asked about the CT result but was told the consultant would be more concerned about the result of the PET scan so we will just have to wait. I get the feeling we would still be in the dark about all of this if I hadn't phoned.

Secondly. Hubby and I are on our own for most of the day and night now. This has come about because son's wife has decided that, after 24 years of not working, she wanted to look for work, at the age of 55. So, she has a job. Which means that everything was going to be placed on Diana's shoulders five days out of seven, with son filling in at weekends. There's more to it than that as far as DIL is concerned but I'm not going into it. Suffice to say hubby and I had to come to other arrangements as there's no way we would expect any of them to take on that amount of responsibility on their own. So now Diana comes round for a couple of hours during the day just for essential stuff, Monday to Friday, and son does Saturday and Sunday. We manage on our own for the rest of the time. We had social services install an SOS alarm in case hubby had a fall and I couldn't help him. He is still unsteady on his feet but we just have to get on with things. We have a system worked out whereby we can get downstairs to make meals etc and can take ourselves to bed each night. I am absolutely terrified in case something happens to hubby and I can't get to him. I have been stressed to the max about it all and have been in a dark place again.

To end, our wee holiday home at the coast will have to be sold as we are unable to use it now. We loved it so much.

I apologise sincerely for not posting guys, but I was in such a state for a while. Many thanks again for your kind words and concern.

Love you all,

Mary

Well, this might not all be good news but I think we were all getting worried that it would be worse.

It sounds like you are still in the dark regarding that CT scan. Why did they even bother if they are not going to give you the results? Sitting on file for a month??

Sad that you will have to sell your beloved holiday home.

I do hope and pray that you can start to feel a little better now that you are getting settled in to a new system there.

SO pleased to see you post, Mary, whatever the news.

We are all your friends here and care about you very much.

Love, Mad.xxxxx 🌺🌺🌺

Mary, thank you for posting an update and letting us know how things are going. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult road. I know they say God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I know you have had an awful lot put on your shoulders. I'm so sorry and wish I could do more than just say I am sending you positive thoughts and prayers every day.

Mary, I' so sorry to hear all of this, and I can empathize with everything that's going on in your life right now, as it's so similar to the way things are around my house.

My husband had a bad fall in June and fractured his ship, we've been dealing with the fallout from that. Like your husband he is now unsteady and I'm always worried that he'll fall again. His pain levels are bad most of the time now, with the tumour located where it is combined with the fracture. I'm so glad that your husband has at least had some pain reduction. That must give him much better quality of life.

It's awfully rough on you to have to cope on your own. Are there any local Home Care-type services that can help you out and give you a rest? Or any friends nearby who can help you? I mostly manage on my own but some things I just can't do and have to rely on my neighbours. I'm no longer shy about asking for help. Sanity depends on it.

As for the scan results and the lack of information, we've constantly encountered this with the BC Cancer agency. If we don't call them, we often stay in the dark. We didn't know our Oncologist had retired until we phoned to complain about the local doctor here, who told John he shouldn't bother with chemo. The biggest lesson we've had is to always take the bull by the horns and be proactive because things fall through the cracks all the time.

I imagine that you and I are both suffering from PTSD, with the constant stress and worry. My doctor makes sure that I at least have medication for sleep when I need it so that I don't get overwhelmed. How is your sleep? Are you at least getting enough rest at night? Is there something your doctor can do for you? Your own health is critical. Please take care of yourself.

I too have been thinking about you and your husband, Mary. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary, Prayers, Positive thoughts, and Big Hugs on the way.

Mary, thank you so much for the update ... it is a relief to hear from you ... keeping my thoughts and prayers for you, hubby, Diana and son. Would your home allow moving you and hubby downstairs to live and not have to deal with the stairs?

I was wondering about that too, soot. If you could somehow manage to avoid those stairs, that would make life a lot easier for all of you.

Hello Boomers, hope all is well with you and thank you once again for your kind words and support. Sorry for not stopping by sooner. Things have been very trying again. I haven't been sleeping and had to call GP for something to help. All he would give me was a 4-week course of sleeping tablets which is now finished and I'm back to square one. Doctors here are not keen to prescribe sleeping tablets in case patients get used to them but they will have to do something as I can't cope with not sleeping.

Hubby had the PET scan done and we didn't get the results until yesterday. The good news: Doctor is confident that there has been a good outcome as far as the lymphoma goes. It looks like the radiotherapy and chemotherapy have worked well and that what they are seeing is scar tissue. The not so good news: He doesn't think hubby will get full use of his legs again as the chemo has attacked the nerves and caused a lot of damage to the extent that he is still very unsteady and has little to no feeling in his feet which, as you can imagine, makes walking very difficult. His right foot is starting to turn inwards. It doesn't stop him from trying to walk though. He no longer uses the transport chair for himself and is walking anywhere he needs to go in the house by using walking sticks. Our son fitted another handrail to our staircase so he can get up and downstairs easier. He refuses to use the chairlift as it makes him 'feel like an invalid'!

The bad news: PET scan picked up something on hubby's bowel which looks very suspicious so Doctor is arranging a colonoscopy. How long he will have to wait for that to be done remains to be seen. We were not really surprised to hear this as he hasn't been doing so well lately. His appetite is dwindling again and he has lost weight. He has had episodes of vomitting and has very little energy. He still insists on helping me when needed and will not consider having more help from the family. We are still on our own for most of the day and all night. I will have to look into getting help from outside sources if things don't improve. He is a very determined and stubborn guy who thinks it's his 'job' to look after me. He breaks my heart.

Well, our holiday home has gone. It just wasn't feasible to keep it as it hadn't been used since hubby took ill a year ago. I remember how happy we were when we bought it and could envisage lots of breaks away to the coast whenever the mood took us. How things have changed.

Thank you once again, from the bottom of my heart, for your continuing prayers and kind words and support and for your friendship over the years. It really means a lot to me.

Much love to you all,

Mary

Mary, as always, nice to see you popping in with an update. Glad to hear some improvements, but sorry to hear of other setbacks. Life shouldn't be so hard and it sure does seem unfair at times. You and hubby are always in my prayers.

Ana

Oh Ms Mary, it is so good to see and hear from you. As Ana noted it is encouraging to hear that hubby is not backing down from what the Great Circle of Life throws at us. Really saddened to hear about your holiday home ... many of us invest in that dream and you will always have the memory. Take care ... keeping you, hubby and family in our thoughts and prayers

Ups and downs... no wonder you're not sleeping. Your stress must be very high. Your hubby sounds like a very determined guy! It's so good to hear from you, so please pop in whenever you can.

Continued positive thoughts and prayers for you and for your hubby, Mary. Please continue to drop in when you are feeling up to it and let us know how things are going.

Mary, my husband had a bad fall in June and though he has healed he is very unsteady. We bought him a walker on Amazon, so he is stable and we don't have to worry about him falling again. Amazon has a wide range of products like that. They might have something that suits your budget and his needs.

We also have a Red Cross here that loans equipment like medical canes and walkers and bath seats, all of which we've found to be very helpful in managing his mobility issues. Does the Red Cross operate anything like that near you?

I'm really sorry to hear about the shadow on the bowel.

Keeping you in my thoughts MsMercury.

Sending my very best for you both, Mary, as always

Love, Mad

Hi MsMercury, more prayers and positive vibes sent your way and for your husband.

Hagatha, prayers and positive vibes for you and your husband as well.

My very best wishes to both of you in continuing to weather the storms of life!

Mary, my thoughts and prayers are with you and hubby. I have walked that path and it is not an easy one for either of you. Love and Hugs on the way.

Thanks everyone. Hubby's not been too well recently, really suffering from severe leg pain which keeps him awake at night, so he's back to taking morphine on a regular basis. I will be contacting his GP to see if he can increase the dose or perhaps give him something else. We're still waiting for the appointment for the colonoscopy to be done, goodness knows when that will come through.

Nothing else to report for now. Thank you all once again for your kind thoughts and prayers, they help more than you know.

Much love to you all,

Mary

I am sorry to hear that MsMercury.

Congrats on your 49th anniversary!!

Sorry to hear that MsMercury, more prayers and positive thoughts sent your way and for your husband.

I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Mary. I also send positive thoughts for your nephew. You take care.

Prayers heading up that things improve soon Mary. God bless.