GB HOMEPAGE

Joe's September 5th

Posted By: gymcandy1

Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 12:14 AM

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —

~Ronald Reagan~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

"What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

"That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."
~~

From our local TV news station, this undeniably true travel suggestion: "Next up, ten money-saving tips for your trip to Hawaii.

Don't go away!"
~~

During an anti-harassment seminar at work, I asked, "What's the difference between harassment and good-natured teasing?"

A co-worker shouted, "A million dollars."
~~

If your name is on the building, you're rich;

if your name is on your desk, you're middle-class;

if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.
~~

I received a letter saying I would not be given the American Express credit card I'd requested because my income wasn't substantial enough. Oddly enough, I work for American Express.
~~

My husband is—how should I put this—cheap, once going so far as to reuse the freezer bags our grown daughter Molly left behind after a visit.

Needless to say, it gave me a start when, looking through the freezer, I found packages labeled steak, chicken breast, and Molly.
~~

A guy in a Kia pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, "Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled?" The Rolls owner nods.

"So is mine. Got Wi-Fi?" The Rolls owner nods again.

"Me too. What about a double bed?"

"No. Do you?" asks the Rolls guy.

"Yep."

Do you have a hot tub asked the Rolls guy?

Nope replied the Kia driver.

Well I do says the Rolls driver smugly.

The Kia owner peers out. "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"
~~

With airlines adding fees to fees, The Week magazine asked its readers to predict the next surcharge they'll levy for something previously free.

1. In the unlikely event of loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down. To start the flow of oxygen, simply insert your credit card …

2. $100 On-Time Departure Fee; $25 Delay Complaint Fee.

3. View seating (formerly window seats), $10; Access seating (formerly aisle seats), $10 $20 to use roll-away stairs to enter or exit the aircraft in lieu of no-charge rope-ladder alternative.

4. $9 fee for bumping your head on the overhead bin as you take your seat; $3 additional penalty for looking up at the bin after you bump into it.
~~

To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack, I took my friend horseback riding. Being a novice, he freaked when his mount took off.

"How do I stop?" he yelled.

"Bet on it!" I hollered back.
~~

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract—teach him to deduct.
~~

A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known for her charity.

"Please, ma'am," he says when she opens up, "can you help this poor, tragic family down the block? The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work. They're about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone can pay their rent."

"That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!" says the woman. "May I ask who you are?"

"Their landlord."
~~

Driving back from Vermont, I stopped at a vegetable stand. It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn, then opened the cashbox to pay. Taped to the inside of the lid was this note: "The dog can count."
~~

A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It's now the drunk's turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
~~

When he blew a wad of money at my blackjack table in the casino, a customer stood up and yelled, "How do you lose $200 at a $2 table?!" Before I could speak, another customer replied, "Patience."
~~

During a visit to our friend's home in Canada, we were feted with a wonderful breakfast. But my six-year-old daughter was not impressed.

"Your pancakes are smaller than my mom's," she told him.

He replied, "That's because of the exchange rate."
~~

One day at a local café, a woman suddenly called out, "My daughter’s choking! She swallowed a nickel! Please, anyone, help!"

Immediately a man at a nearby table rushed up to her and said he was experienced in these situations. He calmly stepped over to the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. Out popped the nickel.

The man returned to his table as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you!" the mother cried. "Tell me, are you a doctor?"

"No," the man replied. "I work for the IRS."
~~

We were eating at one of the trendier restaurants in town when my friend pointed to the menu and told the waitress, "I'll have the 24."

"Uh, Jim," I whispered, "that's the price, not the meal number."

"Oh," he said. "Then give me the 12."
~~

I’ve never understood the concept of the gift certificate, because for the same 50 bucks, my friend could’ve gotten me 50 bucks.
~~

Hey hello everyboomie. Can y'all believe it's September 5th already? WOW! woot


The most exciting thing about that to me is this; We are still in the 90s right now, but by Wednesday we will be in the 60s for the high. shocked


I imagine this weather front is going to deliver much colder temps in other areas though, like in Ana's area. Ana I hope it's not a drastic change for you guys. I know you'll take it in stride though. You always do. hearts


I'm waiting for a drop, and then a good dry moment, so I can jump out and mow my yard again. I'm just really tired of it, and hope it will be the last time I have to mow this year, although.......not holding my breath on that fantasy. razz


Is anybody else excited about football's return? I definitely am, although I think this could be a strange season, if there are no fans in the stands, and they are using recorded crowd noise in their broadcast. wink


Have a salubrious week everyone. thumbsup


Soot taught me a new one there. praise


joe
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 12:39 AM

chores,
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 12:57 AM

Hi ya Joe,

Love the counting dog joke!

Family, hope the chores are done by now.

I am off to bed with a cup of peppermint tea and a book. Sweet dreams ya'll puppy
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 11:26 AM

Good morning, have a Wonderful Day. Breakfast out this morning. A bit more shopping later. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, Waffles, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 02:29 PM

Good morning Family Loony, Connie and everyone. wave2

Connie I would love some of your biscuits and sausage gravy thank you!! happydance

We are a little bit overcast here this morning. A fine time for enjoy my coffee and surfing the web. [Linked Image]

I'll probably do nothing much this morning, (already got a head start on that), then take Missy parking, then I'll do more of the nothing thing, then exercise.......a little, and then more nothing, then maybe some laundry or other household chores, and cap off the day with more nothing. [Linked Image]

It's a hard life of leisure I have. [Linked Image]

I hope that it's a super day of leisure for everyone out there in Gameboomer Land. urock

Enjoy your Sunday. thumbsup


joe
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 03:08 PM

'The Dog Can Count' rotfl

Joe, little Soot and I actually got to walk this morning in "67" degrees shocked it was marvelous ... you've got the right idea for the day

Family, hope you got all your chores done yesterday and can take today off

Connie, enjoy your breakfast out this morning ... I'll have a plate of eggs, bacon and grits in NC please

Hey Ho TaintedFury ... enjoy your spring weather, that's such a lovely time of the year

L4L hearts

Have a amiable day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 03:31 PM

I am envious of all you people with cooler weather. We have another month to month and a half here. Still in the 80's for a low most nights. 90's during the day. summer
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 04:27 PM

Super Sunday ya'll puppy

Back from my run. It was beautiful out there...Not 80!

We were supposed to be playing DnD today with son and g'son, but that just fell apart. That means my read a thon can continue. Gonna hang in the library and sip my chocolate coffee and read a book.

Have a great day ya'll puppy
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/06/20 11:46 PM

watching court shows.
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/07/20 01:07 PM

Good morning, enjoy the day. We need to go looking for a new Bar- B- Que grill today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/07/20 02:43 PM

Good morning and Happy Labor Day everyone ... stay smart and stay safe today!!!

Joe ... any grilling or other outdoor activity for you all today? Maybe a trip to the park? Don't think you've had the rain for a point hunt think

Hey Ho Connie ... good hunting to you, there are lots of models to choose from ... stay safe while you're out n about ... I'll have a Danish to go this morning

Family ... enjoy your shows!

TaintedFury ... I imagine you are enjoying the remaining cooler weather before summer arrives car

I continue to enjoy our read-a-thon too ... and music (with ear buds wink) ... I'm off to garden and then play with my new simulation. I've got two racks of ribs slow cooking in the oven right now ... they'll got a make over at high noon and then later this afternoon it'll be time to BBQ happydance

Take care everyone, stay smart and stay safe this Labor Day!

L4L hearts

Have a Lovely Labor Day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab


Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/07/20 04:07 PM

Back from my walk. It's a beautiful day out there and I got to pet a GSD puppy for a few minutes, so that made it a great walk. Hubby has ribs cooking. I'll roast a few veggies and add a salad and that will be dinner.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

wavegirl
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/07/20 09:47 PM

watching court shows
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/08/20 12:25 PM

Good morning, lunch and Netflix with a friend. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/08/20 05:08 PM

Back from my walk. Sitting and sipping and surfing. Lil Soot drank a big ole belly full of water...stopped in the middle of the den...threw it all up....then jumped on the couch and threw up on the 1 part of the couch that wasn't covered....then jumped to the other couch to bless it before I got him off and sent up upstairs. Poor baby cry
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/08/20 05:25 PM

Hello everyone ... wow, it's noon already ... where does the time fly? think

Connie, enjoy your Netflix lunch

Family, enjoy your shows

L4L hearts

Have a good day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/09/20 12:33 AM

watching court shows.
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/09/20 01:32 PM

Good morning, have a Lovely Hump Day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: manxman

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/09/20 10:27 PM

Good Wednesday morning to everyone. Wet and cold today. Hope it changes for Thursday catrub
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 12:53 AM

I'd take wet and cold manXman yes Send it our way! ps ... I hope it changes for Thursday too

Good evening everyone ... whoa, where did the day go?

Wishing you all a good night's sleep

sleep

lab
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 01:12 AM

watching court shows.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 03:17 AM

Howdy all! So very sorry this week is slipping by on me and I keep meaning to stop in! I'm so sorry. It's been a crazy week and I work the next two nights also.
I hope all is well by all of you!

Ana wave
Posted By: Taintedfury

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 10:07 AM

Goodmoring 🌤️ Everyone (All Boomers)
Wishing everyone a super Start in early September
& hopeing that no one is injured from the fires over in California wave2

PS G'day Soot, Yep sorry I haven't been on here as much, been taken advantage of the weather
and doing spring chores... wave2

Happy gaming Boomers penguin
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 12:35 PM

Good morning, hope your day is a good one. Meeting at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 02:53 PM

Good morning everybody laugh

Hey Ho TaintedFury ... good evening to you wink ... yes, we knew you were living life ... happy to hear you two are enjoying it ... looking forward to hearing the drain project complete and then you guys can really kick back and relax

Howdy Connie ... I'm hoping your day is a good one too ... mine started fast n' furious this morning at 5 and I'm taking advantage to say hi, refill coffee before getting back to work ... so, I'll have a Danish to go please

Ana, I totally get it ... we have a two and half week event which started yesterday and this Monday starts running from 7am to 7pm ... so long days for some ... do what you can do and come up for air when you can and keep smiling!

Family ... enjoy your shows today

car O.K., back to work for me ... can you believe a third of the month has slipped by us already

L4L hearts

Have a cheerful day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: MsMercury

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 03:23 PM

Hello Boomers, hope you are all well and staying safe in all the madness! Hubby still not doing good (not COVID), could you please keep him in your thoughts?

Have a great day everyone.

Much love,

Mary hearts
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 05:28 PM

Hi guys, Back from my overcast and slightly wet run! Sat down with a cup of coffee to sit and surf and sip and lost all internet, phone, and cable. rotfl

Anyway, I was alerted it was back when a telemarketer called. Checked the other services and found them working again.

Doing laundry and not sure what else today.

Have a great day! wavegirl
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/10/20 10:03 PM

L4L catrub

Hello Ms Mary ... it's always good to see you in the diner ... yes, will definitely keep you and hubby in my prayers

Whew ... what a day!

I am ready for the weekend!

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/11/20 01:15 AM

watching court shows.
Posted By: Taintedfury

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/11/20 08:31 AM

Hi MsMercury it's nice when we can have a chance to chat on here..life is challenging especially in these times, sending positive prayers and thoughts your way 🤞 for your hubby.🤱

G'day Soot 👋
Most definitely 😃 almost there nearly done, it would've been already completed but hubby did a booboo hehe and had to redo one part but that's life.... take care and a super day to you..👍
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/11/20 01:35 PM

Good morning, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/11/20 02:19 PM

Good morning everybody. wave2

We made it to Friday. burger

It/s been a busy week here and I'm happy to say a cooler week as well.

We are supposed to be back close to 90 degrees tomorrow, but only 79 degrees today. penguin

We've also had a lot of rain this week, which revived my almost dead lawn.

Ana you have more reason to bypass posting than most of us, especially myself. We know how hard you work, and understand when you're unable to stop in. I hope you don't feel overwhelmed from everything you have going on in your life. I'm glad you can still post the great pictures that you've been taking. How is Peter doing lately? Are you getting much time in with your grandson? hearts

Soot are you having to do 12 hr days, or is that just the times that that event is running for the organization? Don't work too hard ok? We really need your contagious cheeriness here in the diner. thumbsup

Mary it's so good to see you. I pray your hubby will be better soon, and you are feeling well yourself. wink

Taintedfury good to see you as always. I'm glad to hear your projects are going ok, and you're enjoying some great weather. woot

L4L whenever I lose my TV and internet I'm very happy I have DVR, and can still watch hundreds of hours of programing that I recorded. Of course after watching hundreds of hours of programing I usually can't even get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen for more food to stuff down my face. lol

Speaking of food, Connie I'll have some more of your great biscuits and gravy please.

Have a super fantastic day Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie Soot L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone.


joe
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/11/20 06:36 PM

Hey Ho and Happy Tee Gee Eye Eff to everyone laugh

TaintedFury ... you'll beat us to the weekend shocked but that's O.K. because we'll still get to enjoy the weekend ... grin ... yes booboo's are part of life ... have a wonderful Sunday

Howdy Hello Connie ... the grits and bacon were marvelous this morning, and I grabbed a Danish to go

Joe, no and yes ... I may do a (one, 1, uno) 12 hour day but not sure I need to do one ... I'm not on the support team but do have a vested interest in some aspects of the event ... I'll know more next week as I'll pop in from telework to the office and check things out ... if working a 12 hour shift will help me then yes ... glad to hear your lawn made a come back 'and' that it's been cooler for you ... we had a cooler spell last week but are back to very warm temps and very high humidity so the air is quite thick eek

L4L hearts

Have a cheerful day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/12/20 12:38 AM

chores.
Posted By: manxman

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/12/20 01:05 AM

Have a great beginning to the weekend everyone and keep safe catrub
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/12/20 01:02 PM

Good morning Family and manXman laugh

woot Yes indeedee, the weekend is here happydance My favorite day of the week

Family, git em done and then relax!

manXman, stay smart, stay safe and stay strong

Given it's the weekend I'm all ready (wink) psyched up for a great day ... chores ... projects ... grandson's football game ... character study ... some simulation time ...

L4L hearts

Have a pleasurable day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/12/20 03:47 PM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Today is football day for g'son and son. Hubby will pop by. I will not as I don't do crowds.

I'm sitting and sipping before I head off for my walk today. Feeling the need for some extra down time to get started.

Ya'll have a great day wavegirl
Posted By: family

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 01:08 AM

chores.
Posted By: Taintedfury

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 08:51 AM

Good Morning Boomers wave2

Hiya Joe sherlockthanks, the weather has changed to a bit of everything I guess & last adjustments to the drain/trench plus I broke the piece on the bottom of the shower doors while cleaning it - It's two plastic pieces that stops them from banging against each other so yes hubby is getting that part fixed now... Good you've got cooler weather and may you have a absolutely terrific & fun weekend. summer

G'day Soot car hehe booboo's sure are thumbsup... Yes very true we get to the weekend first but also finish it first.... May you have a fantastic weekend and wish you Super weather your way. woot

Hiya family hug enjoy your shows, G'day connie yaylovely breakfast , Hello looney labwish you some beautiful weather & Hiya Manxman cool fantastic friday to you. dance


Happy gaming all Boomers penguin
Posted By: connie

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 01:00 PM

Good morning, have a Great Sunday. Breakfast out this morning. District meeting of the Eagles in Kissimmee later today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, Waffles, and Toast in the NC. summer
Posted By: soot

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 01:12 PM

Good morning Connie, Family and TaintedFury laugh

Family, git those chores done and then get to relaxin

Connie, enjoy your breakfast this morning and stay safe at your meeting later today ... I'll have a Danish to go please

G'day TaintedFury and wishing you a wonderful week

L4L hearts

Have a neat day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab

Posted By: looney4labs

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 02:51 PM

Super Sunday ya'll puppy

We are supposed to be DnD'ing with son and g'sons today. We shall see if Anaka gets to come out and play. The last few times we were scheduled to play were canceled.

I'm taking a 'rest' day from walking, but depending on what happens with DnD, I may do some yoga or hit the indoor bike for a bit.

Also have to go find my marinade recipe so I can get flank steaks soaking in the fridge.

Ya'll have a good one wavegirl
Posted By: manxman

Re: Joe's September 5th - 09/13/20 05:34 PM

Hope everyone has a Super Sunday. Hope you all enjoy the weather and go for a long stroll catrub
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