GB HOMEPAGE

October 4th at the Diner

Posted By: gymcandy1

October 4th at the Diner - 10/04/20 11:30 PM

I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, and it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that ... —

~Steve Martin~
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Today's headlines are far too depressing. Here's a few for you that are a little more on the fun side.



Headline from the Seattle PostIntelligencer: “Mom Warns Son to ‘Watch Out for Idiots,’ Rear‑Ends His Motorcycle.”
~~

A few months ago, Hamas 
“arrested” a dolphin for being an 
Israeli spy. Readers of Reason 
magazine came up with titles for
 the film this action might inspire:

• Orcapussy

• Free Schmuelly

• Goldflipper

• The Porpoise-

Driven Life

• Dolphinfidel
~~

Spotted in the classifieds: “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so 
I don’t have to spend all eternity 
beside my ex!”
~~

The Best of The Onion Magazine Covers


• “I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work

• The 100 Worst Senators

• The World’s 10 Most Powerful Women: We Make Them Discuss Fashion and Lindsay Lohan Source: The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers That Transformed an Undeserving World (Little, Brown)
~~

“Now hiring,” read the classified ad. “Cemetery superintendent. The ideal candidate must be able to supervise in a fast-paced environment.”
~~

This Classified ad Speaks Volumes:

“Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.”
~~

Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:

• Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably Source: Gettysburg Area Merchandiser

• Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts Source: Topeka Capital-Journal

• Free Vain Screening Source: Boston Globe

• Free rent in exchange for elderly woman Source: 11points.com
~~

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more public than others, 
like these real newspaper typos:

“Here the bridal couple stood, 
facing the floral setting, and exchanged cows.” Modesto News-Herald (California)

“It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud.” Holland Evening Sentinel (Michigan)

“Mrs. ____ fell down stairs at her home this morning, breaking her myhodudududududududosy, and suffered painful injuries.” Ohio paper

“A headline in an item in the 
Feb. 15th edition incorrectly stated ‘Stolen Groceries.’ It should have read: ‘Homicide.’” Enquirer-Bulletin From Just My Typo, by Drummond Moir 
(Three Rivers Press)
~~

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough? See what happened when the Washington Post asked its readers to write intentionally angry letters to actual headlines:

Headline: 20,000 Pound Pavement to Help Homeless
Response: “Are you people idiots? What the homeless need are homes, not ten tons of additional pavement!”

Headline: Maryland Agrees to 
Tobacco Settlement
Response: “Well, that’s all we 
need—an entire settlement of people devoted to their cancer sticks. What’s next, a drunk-driving commune?”

Headline: C.C. United Se Une 
Hoy a Campana Solidaria Pro 
Centroamerica

Response: “I was disgusted with 
the sloppy spelling for [this] article. There were so many typos, I couldn’t understand a word.” From gcfl.net
~~

File These Headlines Under: We Don't Even Want to Know.

•Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker

•FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant

•Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself

•Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby

Sources: Ottawa Citizen (Canada), ctpost.com, Associated Press, Toronto Sun
~~

A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.” Allison Nastoff, Brookfield, Wisconsin
~~

Journalists and editors on deadline make the occasional error. Some are funnier than others:

• NBC reported that American students rank internationally at: “26th math, 21th science, 17th reading.”

• Britain’s Sky News showed the 
importance of punctuation: “Top 
stories: World leaders at Mandela tribute, Obama–Castro handshake and same-sex marriage date set.” •

A retraction from Wired: “A previous version of this story incorrectly quoted Dropbox cofounder Drew Houston saying ‘anyone with nipples’ instead of ‘anyone with a pulse.’” Sources: jonathanturley.org, Washington Times, poynter.org
~~

First Microbes Breathed Sulfur Before It Was Cool , Washington Post
~~

Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop Daily Echo, England
~~

Marshall County Sheriff’s Candidate Disputes Report of His Own Death WAFF (Huntsville, Alabama)
~~

Misadventures in headline writing from around the world:

City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells —The Herald-Palladium (St. Joseph, Michigan)

Case of Innocent Man Freed 
After Spending 18 Years in Prison Proves Texas System Works —Lubbock Avalanche-Journal (Texas)

British Left Waffles on Falklands —The Guardian

At Last Singer Etta James Dies —dailymail.co.uk
~~

• County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds (Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon)

• 4-H Training Scheduled for Shooting Instructors (Pine City Pioneer, Minnesota)

• Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances (Winchester Star, Virginia)

• Police: DUI Charge for Woman Celebrating End of Earlier DUI 
Suspension (Chicago Tribune)

• Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons (Tulsa World, Oklahoma)
~~

Howdy folks. wave2


Is everyone having a great weekend? happydance


You could not ask for nicer weather here. I had to run to Walmart for food today, because I don't do very well without it. cool


I took Missy parking first, and then to Walmart. Back home I put everything away, and then did some working out/exercising. bravo


Ana you are a monster! If I did what you do I'd either be in great shape, or dead. praise


I took over 10,000 steps today.....................and I was pooped out.......to the max. tired


Congratulations on your kitty catch. bravo


Have a fantastic week everyone. thumbsup


joe
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 12:22 AM

chores and court shows even perry mason.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 01:58 AM

Joe, I don't mind walking, which I guess is good given I do it for a living. lol 10,000 steps is great, my hubby is doing a happy dance when he hits his 6K goal. Hope your weather is good this week for more outside activity!

family, enjoy!

Now that the kittens are caught, tomorrow is the start of coyote trapping. We have two very mangy coyotes that require immediate attention or they won't make it. Wish us luck we can save them in time!

Have a great day all!
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 10:54 AM

Good morning, enjoy the start of a new week. Good luck catching the coyotes, Ana. Lunch and Netflix with a friend, then meeting at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. witch
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 07:03 PM

Good afternoon and magnifent Monday puppy

Had a great run this morning. It's a gorgeous day out there. Soot had a vet appointment today which went well. Then home to load a new book on my Ipod.

Need to go up and do weights today.

Ya'll have a great one! wavegirl
Posted By: butterflybabe

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 08:16 PM

Joe, thank you so much for these headlines! Maybe I just needed it, but I laughed my head off! One of my favorite stories of 'that's not what was meant', happened during Bush's 2nd run for office. My work space was located near the ESL office. One of the tutor held a 'conversation' class (usually attended by older community members) that day and later came by to share her laugh for the day. Apparently, she had started the class by offering time for questions. A woman asked what a 'Bush Woman' was. The tutor began to explain that it was a term from African culture, but the woman and her friends shook their heads. When the tutor asked where they was those words, the women explained it was on a button some women in the college hallway were wearing. And so the hour was spent talking about American politics. woozy

I had a tough start to my day today. At my vet's suggestion, I took Huey to an animal eye doctor. His left eye is slightly dilated, teary and the lips droopy. He shows no sign that it is affecting him at all; still fun of vitality and energy. No evidence of glaucoma. No response to the test for lazy eye. So he either has some kind of infection or something going on in his brain. I have meds to treat him for the latter, and was warned to stay alert for signs of altered behavior. I'm praying he has no adverse reaction to the meds and the thing just goes away. yes
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 09:00 PM

Butterflybabe, hope Huey's eye is soon 100% normal. luck
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 09:39 PM

same thing.
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/05/20 10:44 PM

Happy Monday everyone ... busy week kicked off today!

Have a wonderful evening.

witch

lab
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 11:41 AM

Good morning, busy day today. Nails, lunch, then a haircut. Butterflybabe, positive vibes on the way. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. witch
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 12:23 PM

Hope Huey is ok, butterflybabe!

connie, have a great day!

soot, hope your busy week goes smoothly!

family, enjoy!

L4L, have a great day! Great that Lil soot had a good vets visit!

Hi ho...hi ho...you know the rest. lol
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 01:43 PM

It's a beautiful day in AL. I'm off to the park to listen to my book and go round and round and round.

Have a great day ya'll puppy
Posted By: butterflybabe

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 04:51 PM

Still not sure what is going on with Huey. Yesterday, doc said he may have lazy eye or something going on in his brain. He said there's a nerve in the brain that is attached to the spine, ear and eye. Doc ran a couple of tests but didn't get the response he was looking for, or it was inconsistent. So, treating it as a possible infection with a steroid, and dry eye meds. Steroid made him so out of it he could barely life his head or open his eyes. He slept all night and didn't wake me to give him breakfast. I skipped the meds this morning so he'd be able do his bathroom stuff; he was alert and happy enough to go off for a play day. It may go away on it's own. Doc told to watch for signs that his ear is bothering him or he just doesn't act normal, which would mean the need for an MRI. I'm hoping this is a 'glitch' that will go away. If not, I'll get the MRI done and take it from there.

Otherwise, glad to have warmer weather and sunshine around for as long as it will last. Hoping it will stay long enough for association to get a bunch of outside work done on residences before winter hits.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 09:57 PM

L4L, beautiful day here too! The dogs are loving it! Enjoy!

Hope they can find out what is going with Huey, butterflybabe! I hate steroids. My dog peed up the whole house when he was on it years ago,

Back to work I go.....I had a little break in between.
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/06/20 11:40 PM

same thing.
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/07/20 12:09 AM

Good evening everyone ... another successful day behind me laugh

ButterFlyBabe ... will keep Huey in my prayers angel

Sleep well everyone sleep
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/07/20 10:57 AM

Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. witch
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/07/20 10:04 PM

Hey Ho and good afternoon everyone laugh

Happy Camel Day 🐫

Hello Connie ... hope you enjoyed your day ... I'll have a Danish for an afternoon treat happydance

L4L hearts

Have a quiet afternoon Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/08/20 01:08 AM

same thing.
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/08/20 11:18 AM

Good morning, enjoy your day. Thoughts and Prayers to those in the Gulf coast. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. witch
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/08/20 09:57 PM

Howdy hello Connie and Family ... it's good to see both of you

Family ... I hope everything was good for you

Connie, I agree ... thoughts and prayers for those in Delta's path ... how about a cuppa and toast in the NC for me thanks

The weekend is closing in on us happydance

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful evening Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/08/20 11:24 PM

same thing.
Posted By: BrownEyedTigre

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 01:00 AM

Yesterday we got the coyote trap up, no luck yet on catching it, but it's day one. I hope we can catch it before it's too late.
We got a new fence installed today and they did an amazing job! It looks fantastic!
I have a boarder here since yesterday and another coming Saturday. Full house!

Hope you all are doing well!

Ana wave
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 11:30 AM

Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Cinnamon Toast in the NC. witch
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 11:33 AM

think Hmmm a new fence Ana ... does that mean no more critters visiting your back door? Take care

Connie, I'll have a Danish to go ... I've got to dash off to work

Family, enjoy your shows ... good luck with chores

L4L hearts

TGIF good morning Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 01:04 PM

Hoping for a quiet day of playing today. Raining out. I might get a run in IF the rain stops at the right time. Ya'll have a good one!
Posted By: gymcandy1

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 02:25 PM

Good morning everyboomie. yay

Once again we've made it to Friday, and weekend is in the air. penguin

I don't know why it makes a darned bit of difference to a retired old geezer if it's Saturday or Wednesday. I guess it's all of those years of looking toward the weekend to help get me through the work week?? The weekends are still kind of a psychological release for me. Whatever. I don't try and pressure myself to do anything on the weekends. duh

Connie I'll have my usual biscuits and sausage gravy please and thank you ma'am. bravo

I've had a busy week of parking with the doggie, doing my exercising, mowing and weedeating, cleaning house, doing laundry, touching up (finishing) the paint job on the deck, finally. Now it already needs repainting. rolleyes

I mowed the yard again hoping that it will be the last time for the year, and yet we're still hitting 90 degree days here, 94 degrees Saturday. We're not getting much rain though. razz

Ana congrats on the new fence. What type of fence is it? Did you post some pics? Good luck on catching the coyote. hearts

Soot I see you had a busy week as well. Any big plans for the weekend? wave

L4L I admire your daily running. I hope your weather stays nice for it. bravo

I have been spending more time on my treadmill, but not running. I'm walking 3 to 3.5mph for an hour.

Have a super day everyone.

joe
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 09:33 PM

Hey Ho Joe ... I made it to the weekend with ya laugh

No big plans for the weekend ... I'll chip away at my projects and chores ... do some serious reading ... might get to some gaming but not sure about that ... rest and relaxation accompanied by music is also on the docket!

T.G.I.F. good afternoon and evening everyone wave2

lab
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 09:46 PM

Hubby made it home and I immediately pointed him to my computer. No browsers would run on it today. G'son left for mom's, so I just stole "my" laptop back so I could use the net. I've been going through withdrawal today rotfl

Hopefully hubby will have good luck talking severely to my computer and I'll be back in business. wavegirl
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/09/20 09:54 PM

sports and chores.
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/10/20 12:04 AM

All fixed smashpc
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/10/20 11:46 AM

Good morning, enjoy the weekend. Shopping is on the list for today. Going to the Elks tonight with friends. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC. pumpkin witch
Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/10/20 02:05 PM

Happy Rainy Stormy Saturday ya'll puppy

Hubby got me back up and running last night. Had to switch my VPN. We'd used Sandboxie for years, but yesterday mine decided it was time to die.

I may skip my run today and let my body rest. Or maybe I'll do yoga or ride my bike. We shall see. We are supposed to get icky weather moving in from Delta....not dangerous, I don't think, but rainy and windy.

Hubby and I are also getting our voting done for the year so we can drop them off after my doc's appointment on Monday.

Boys are at mom's, though I think Per may be back today.

Ya'll have a great one wavegirl
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/10/20 07:54 PM

Good Saturday afternoon everyone laugh Chores and a project done and now I'm off to garden, relax and stay dry ... we have the typical belts of Delta showers pelting us with gusty winds as it is due West of us now headed to Ohio.

Connie, have fun shopping and at Elk's tonight with friends ... I am thinking a platter of eggs, Hash Browns, Bacon, with Biscuits and Gravy in the NC will be wonderful

Family, enjoy your games

L4L hearts

Have a good Saturday Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/10/20 08:10 PM

chores and football.
Posted By: connie

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/11/20 11:24 AM

Good morning, enjoy the day. Breakfast out this morning. We're having dinner with friends tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Sausage, Bacon, Waffles, and Toast in the NC. witch pumpkin
Posted By: soot

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/11/20 02:07 PM

Good morning Connie, enjoy breakfast out and dinner later tonight ... I'll have a Danish to go please as I have miles to go before I sleep

The remnants of Delta are misty drizzle this morning as Little Soot and I hit the park for our O-Dark-30 walk [Linked Image]

Thinking we'll have a quiet day today 🤔 but, one never knows for sure

L4L hearts

Happy Sunday Joe Ana Family Connie L4L ButterFlyBabe and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab

Posted By: looney4labs

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/11/20 05:35 PM

The misty drizzle turned into steady rain which drove me indoors sooner than I would have liked. I don't worry about me, but don't like my electronics out in the weather and can't stand rainproof stuff on my body.

Maybe I can get out again before dinner. I'm cooking tonight, so maybe not!
Posted By: family

Re: October 4th at the Diner - 10/11/20 11:22 PM

chores and court shows, even perry mason.
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