-1.A man said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’
I said: ‘Is that a
f---?
-2.I asked the doctor to give me something for persistent wind.
He gave me a k---.
-3.Research shows that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t H----.
-4.Where there’s a will, there’s a r-------.
-5.Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for s--- e---.
6.The dentist said: ‘Say Ahhh.’
I said: ‘Why?’
He said: ‘My dog has d---.’
-7.I called my lawyer and said: ‘Can I ask you two questions?’ He said: ‘Of course. What’s the s----- q-------?’
-8.The past, the present and the future were having an argument. It was t----.
-9.I took the wife’s family out for tea and biscuits.
They weren’t too happy about having to g--- b---- though.
-10.A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies: ‘No, I’m travelling l----.’