As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
BUDDY HACKETT
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I mentioned to my sons that some teens used Facebook to plan a robbery at a local mall.
“How did the NSA miss that?” my 21-year-old asked.
“I told you guys,” said my 17-year-old. “No one uses Facebook
anymore.”
—Mary-Heather Reynolds, Prattville, Alabama
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Who wouldn’t be inspired
to hire this young man? If his
cover letter is to be believed, he’s
eager to light a fire under the most recalcitrant colleague:
“I am a
motivated, self-igniting person.”
—Source: heartland.org
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It’s easy to get disoriented when visiting New York City. One
befuddled tourist asked his hotel concierge, “The last time we were
in NYC, we got out of a subway, and we saw some water and some boats. Do you know where that is?”
via howmaywehateyou.com
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My daughter said something to me that I didn’t think was very polite. I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way—so she repeated it with a British accent.
via lamebook.com
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I was showing my kids an old rotary phone when my nine-year-old asked, “How did you text on it?”
My 15-year-old daughter roared with laughter, until a thought occurred to her: “Wait, where did you store
your contacts?”
Tara Price, Leesburg, Georgia
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My grandmother called to tell me she’d gotten an e-mail account. “Great,” I said. “Send me a message so I’ll have your e-mail address.” I waited and waited, but she never sent it. Several days later, an envelope arrived—Grandma had written her info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.
Meagan Lundgren, Calgary, Ontario
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My nine-year-old and I passed
a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed—$5.”
He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”
Deb Morris, North Creek, New York
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When my husband’s friend gave his order at a fast-food restaurant, the cashier asked for his name.
“It’s Stephen, with a ph,” he said.
Soon after, he was handed his
order and a receipt, which had his name on it: Pheven.
Wendy Dewberry, Pell City, Alabama
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Good morning everyboomie.
I hope you're all doin great today.
Right now I've had it with my computer, and internet,
Everything is slow, slow , slow. I type a sentence, and then wait for it to appear on the page, before I type the next one.
I try and space down or scroll, and then WAIT. argh!!!
I don't think it's the computer at all. I think it's my internet signal. Maybe my modem.
Maybe it's the weather.
It's making me real cranky!!
Happy Monday everyone.
Is that an oxymoron?
joe