Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
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~Bill Murray~
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Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
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Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people.
Then the grenade exploded.
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When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.
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Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
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Recently, a police patrol stopped Chuck Norris when he was driving along. They got off with only a warning.
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Chuck Norris tried to lose weight. But Chuck Norris NEVER loses.
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Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys!
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Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.
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When Chuck Norris walks across the meadow, he doesn’t smell the flowers. The flowers smell him.
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Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do fishing. He says, "You, you and you, out!" and off he goes with three fish.
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Chuck Norris naps with his eyes open!
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The wheelchair symbols at parking lots don't mean that the places are reserved for the disabled. They are an express warning that the place belongs to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot close his eyes, his eyelids are too terrified of being seen by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has a little sister. Her name is Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris is so well endowed, long-distance relationships aren't a problem.
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Chuck Norris keeps a diary. It's known as the Guinness Book of Records.
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What happens when Chuck Norris says “Sit” to his dog?
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All the people within hearing distance sit down.
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to Chuck Norris Appreciation Day!
Or should it be Chuck Norris Adoration Day?
It seems old Chuck can do no wrong.
We had a great day here.....I mean a day of great heat.
It was cloudy in the morning though, so I took the dogs to the park, and then we went to Walmart.
That's about it. I did some laundry, more as an afterthought, when I finally (and reluctantly) decided I'd better do something.
There's always tomorrow, right?
Have a happy day everyone.
joe