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#1171461 - 12/10/18 08:31 PM Tuesday Joe's
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32458
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
-
~Bob Monkhouse~
```````````````


Dog Jokes


Best first:

Q: Who is Dracula’s best friend?

A: His bloodhound.

````
What kind of dog eats with his ears?
-
They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.

````
What happens when you cross a dog and a cheetah?
-
You get a dog who chases after cars a lot – and actually catches them.

````
What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.
-
He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!

````
What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler?
-
Anything you like, just very quietly.

````
What is the question a flea often has to ask itself?
-
Should I walk or take a dog?

````
When is a mom flea happy?
-
When her whole family has gone to the dogs.

````
“Life is like a dogsled team.

If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

” – Lewis Grizzard”

````
What do you mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike?
-
My dog can't even ride a bike!

````
What has 4,000 eyes and 8,000 legs?
-
Two thousand dogs.

````
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?
-
Quietly go sleep on the sofa.

````
What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating from your plate?

Seek medical help.

You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs recently.

````
What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

[Don’t know]

OK, in that case I think I’ll mail that letter myself, thank you.

````
What do you do when you see a rabid dog?
-
That depends on whether the dog has seen you, too.

````
“I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.
-
My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.
-
I'm like, How does my mother know that?”

- Wendy Liebman

````
Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?
-
Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.

````
How do you tell the difference between a labrador and a marine biologist?
-
The one wags a tale, the other tags a whale.

````
What happens when you cross a rooster, a Cocker Spaniel and a Poodle?
-
You get a Cockerpoodledoo.

````
What should you do when your dog suddenly goes Squaawk?
-
Pat him on the head. He’s learning a new language.

````
A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
-
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”

````
Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
-
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

````
A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
-
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”

````
Why do dogs lick their butts?
-
Because nobody will do it for them.

````
What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
-
Take the words out of his mouth.

````
I’m considering removing my dog’s tail.
-
My mother in law comes next weekend and I intend to get rid of anything that would give her the impression that she is welcome.

````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


Boy howdy spellcheck really does not like that word 'Cockerpoodledoo' for some reason. snicker


What do they know anyway? razz


We had a great day down here.Got in the mid 50s yahoo! happydance12


Tuesday's to be back in the 60s. penguin Ooooo Ahhhhh!


Not sure what I'll do. We have 100% rain chances on Thursday, and I can't decide if I want to run out to the sod farm Tuesday, or wait till after the rain. eek12


I'm also waiting for a chance to go shoot my guns. Tuesday might be a great day for that. happydance


Any suggestions? grin


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (12/10/18 08:33 PM)
_________________________
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

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#1171467 - 12/10/18 11:32 PM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 76546
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe! I think you test our censors all the time! rotfl I hope you can get out!

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#1171470 - 12/10/18 11:45 PM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
What's up with your spellcheck anyway, Joe? lol Hope you're able to get out and do the things you want to do.

Have a great day, Ana. Hope you feel better!

It's Monday night, and I'm off to sleep. More work awaits me tomorrow. woozy

Have a great Tuesday, everyone. tree
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

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#1171472 - 12/11/18 01:08 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
family Online   content
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 3918
Loc: marietta,georgia
watching tv.

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#1171477 - 12/11/18 04:13 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 23340
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus and everyone. Joe I say go for the sod farm today. Adventure awaits! Ana hope you are feeling better today. How about a soothing cup of hot tea with lemon and honey to soothe your throat. Venus don't work to hard. Coffee and tea are ready.
tree Wishing all Boomers a Happy Day! tree
_________________________
Gerry

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#1171480 - 12/11/18 07:19 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10662
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Ana, hope you get your voice back soonest. Having a friend over for lunch and Netflix. We are watching Christmas movies. santadance Dinner and Karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. tree
_________________________
Connie

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#1171483 - 12/11/18 08:25 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2330
Loc: Switzerland
Hello my gb friends, it's good to be back!

Thank you for dusting off my seat Ana. That must have been a thick layer of dust! Looney, good to see you too. Thank you, life treated me fairly kind. I have lots of success in Asia with my ceramics and are there (Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Singapore) 3-4 times a year. Wonderful food too - yummy. Hi connie and venus and family and all.

If there still is the naughty corner somewhere (couldn't find it yet because of all the dust in the air from my seat - cough cough) I will put a cake on the table later in the day...
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#1171486 - 12/11/18 09:53 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47869
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We survived the night. Dogs were restless for a bit, but we finally got everyone sorted. Sky-buddy cuddled with me all night. He pinned down the covers, but he is a big ole heating pad so I stayed warm enough.

Supposed to make it to the 50's this afternoon, so I'll take the babies to the park for a walk then.

Soot made it to CA.....he had a 29 minute connection so we were a bit worried. I figure there was some Divine intervention there.

Gimli, I think the Naughty Corner has been lonely. If you pop a cake over there, though, I bet it will have plenty of company! So good to hear your ceramics business is doing well. Do you enjoy the traveling?

wavegirl
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#1171488 - 12/11/18 10:31 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2330
Loc: Switzerland
Ana or whoever moved my post to today: thank you ;-)

Looney: you know I have fear of flying, so the travelling isn't the best part of my Asian ceramics adventures. Dr. Temesta makes it a bit less stressful though... (I hope this is not counted as ad, please delete if it is...)

Ana, are you feeling better today?

All right, there's a freshly baked BANANA CAAAAAKE in the NC. Is Gym-Jenny still here? She was always the first in the NC... Have a wonderful day everybody.
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#1171490 - 12/11/18 11:12 AM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Online   content
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47869
Loc: Alabama
Banana Cake! Running to grab a piece before it's all gone. I'll put a fresh pot of hot chocolate there to keep it company. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

Top
#1171525 - 12/11/18 11:16 PM Re: Tuesday Joe's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 8273
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep12
_________________________
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

Top

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