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Help me with these jokes. Thanks. #852642
11/29/12 06:20 AM
11/29/12 06:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
-1.I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a f--- o--''.

-2.There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you ----- this thing?''

-3.A jump-cable walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't s---- anything''

-4.Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the f--------.

-5.The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my d----?''.

-6.I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the c------ out of her hair.

-7.A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand c---- nuts b------- in an open f----.''

-8.Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Hey - get out! We don't want your ---- in here''

9.I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a c----
t---------. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

10.I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly c------ myself.

lol














Last edited by curly; 11/29/12 10:37 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852645
11/29/12 06:51 AM
11/29/12 06:51 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer
Niki  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
1. fast one wave


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852646
11/29/12 06:52 AM
11/29/12 06:52 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
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Haroula  Offline
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Posts: 10,027
Greece
2.Drive lol wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852651
11/29/12 07:13 AM
11/29/12 07:13 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
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Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
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Marlborough USA
4. fireplace lol


Gerry
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852653
11/29/12 07:26 AM
11/29/12 07:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852658
11/29/12 07:51 AM
11/29/12 07:51 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Jema Offline
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Jema  Offline
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Virginia
Hi again. catrub

7. CHESS nuts BOASTING in an open FOYER grin


Wouldn't that jar your mustard!
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852660
11/29/12 08:07 AM
11/29/12 08:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
Cue Offline
Graduate Boomer
Cue  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
5. drift lol Morning Curly


Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852665
11/29/12 08:15 AM
11/29/12 08:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
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curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
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Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones. Hey Cue.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852669
11/29/12 08:47 AM
11/29/12 08:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

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Massachusetts
3. start

Morning curly, yay12


Gail
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852672
11/29/12 09:08 AM
11/29/12 09:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Offline
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manxman  Offline
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Unionville
6. cobwebs wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852679
11/29/12 09:35 AM
11/29/12 09:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Morning. Bonne réponses.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852680
11/29/12 09:44 AM
11/29/12 09:44 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,824
Isle of Man
Lex Offline
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Lex  Offline
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Isle of Man
8. Type wink


Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852682
11/29/12 09:45 AM
11/29/12 09:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Merci. Were you away?


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852689
11/29/12 10:05 AM
11/29/12 10:05 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,711
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
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Doylestown, Pennsylvania
9. check tablecover (tablecloth) grin wave

Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852692
11/29/12 10:31 AM
11/29/12 10:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
Flo NS Offline
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Flo NS  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,944
Nova Scotia
10. contain

Re: Help me with these jokes. Thanks. [Re: curly] #852695
11/29/12 10:37 AM
11/29/12 10:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Nice finish.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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