"Uh-oh," thought the ex-yachter turned skiier on his first downhill run. "If it's red right returning, I'm up the snowy creek without a skipole."

Moments before reaching the cliff, Alvin thought, "hmm, I wonder why all the other skiers are on that course over there?"

poor UW is heading straight into Pandoras trap
should we warn him?
nah

Time's running out for your chance to gain the fabulous trophy - judging in about a day and a half...

OK - it's Sunday evening over here, so it's judgment time.

Lots of great entries (some libellous - you will be hearinfg from my lawyers ) and a tough choice. An honorable mention must go to Doc Paul for his "feng shui" one-liner, but the winner (purely for the fact that it's such a totally surreal idea) is Niki with:

"his wife sent him out to get her washing in and she is timing him"

Congrats, Niki!

Congratulations to Niki on her 4th trophy!

Congrats, Niki!

oh, thanks, I wasn`t expecting that

Niki .. Congratulations! Well done!