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#890622 - 05/29/13 01:53 AM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30111
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!
David Brent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learning From Kids


For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control...

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest)...

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaving College

You know you're out of college when...

1. Your salary is less than your tuition.

2. Your potted plants stay alive.

3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.

4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.

6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.

7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.

8. 8:00 am is not early.

9. You have to file your own taxes.

10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

11. You're not carded anymore.

12. You carry an umbrella.

13. You learn that bachelor is a nice term for "jackass".

14. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be.

15. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.

16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up and divorce instead of break-up.

17. You start watching the weather channel.

18. Jeans, flannels and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.

19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.

20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

21. You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run.

22. You go to parties that police don't raid.

23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you... and they're no longer "adults" - they are your peers.

24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.

25. Your car insurance goes down.

26. You refer to college students as kids.

27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon and rum.

28. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.

29. You feed your dog science diet instead of taco bell.

30. Your idea of a rocking Friday night is scoring one of the new releases at Blockbuster.

31. Half your conversations with current college students start with, "When I was in college..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Oh happy day, happy day.
To have life's labors put aside for two whole days.
To unfetter your mind from the tyranny and yoke of the capitol agents.
To cast off the cloak of oppression so heavy on my shoulders.
To sleep in, pig out, and lay around slovenly all day. grin

I am a man with a plan uncharted.
A man with a goal undefined. crazy
A man with a mind unchallenged.
A man with his hair unkept. rolleyes

I do have one little quest to do.

My sister got Mom a coffee cup that says "Home is where your cat is" and Mom liked the play on words so much that I want to get her one too. happydance

I'm gonna try and find her one that says, "Home is where you hang your cat." cat

She'll be thrilled. bravo

Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup

joe




Edited by gymcandy1 (05/29/13 01:56 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#890625 - 05/29/13 02:02 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7985
Loc: Greece
Good morning boomers,have all a happy day. smile wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#890633 - 05/29/13 03:48 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Online   sad
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6077
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all Boomers waveI'll get the coffee ready!Wishing you all a happy day!!
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#890641 - 05/29/13 04:46 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17484
Loc: Marlborough USA
penguin Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope you get some play time on your days off. Haroula may the sun shine on your day. Cailyn thanks for having the coffee ready! Enjoy your day everyone! penguin
_________________________
Gerry

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#890659 - 05/29/13 06:39 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14698
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Haroula, happy day to you.

Cailyn, coffee? Yes!

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day regardless of the weather. catrub
_________________________
Gail

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#890660 - 05/29/13 06:45 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8165
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Ana, birthday to Peter. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Hump day. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Cinnamon Buns in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#890675 - 05/29/13 08:04 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14716
Loc: Massachusetts
Good morning. Ooh BB pancakes, Thanks Connie. You just made my morning. Thanks Joe for opening for us. Hi Haroula, Sue, Gerry, Gail, Connie, and all who follow me in the diner today. I have the day off yay broccoli taz dance tomato

Have a good day everyone. It's raining here. Bring an umbrella. Don't forget to exercise.

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#890704 - 05/29/13 10:01 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Midge]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9445
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a happy Hump Day!

Hey, Ana! birthday to your Peter!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#890706 - 05/29/13 10:05 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 11419
Loc: Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning to everyone.

It seems like I haven't been here the past few days.

Vince came by and picked up the dogs on Monday. They had a good time in the Dominican.

Not much going on today. Have to go over to a clients house for a bit this afternoon and Bill is going to mow the yard before we start getting more rain.

Wishing everyone a great day.

Bets
_________________________
Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.

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#890715 - 05/29/13 10:57 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13755
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy the days off and thanks for the chuckles. Happy Hunting!!!

Haroula have a lovely day.

Cailyn thanks for the kcoffee. Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Gail have a lovely day and hope the rain is gone!!

Connie thanks for the danish! Have a lovely day what ever you do! How is hubby feeling these days?

Midge hope you can enjoy the day off and don't have to head out in the rain. have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Bets glad they are home safely and picked up the dogs. Yup good idea cause that rain sure seems to make the grass grow faster. lol

wave
Nan

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#890722 - 05/29/13 11:32 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65523
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! It's a bright sunny day today and summer should be peeking in again.

Nan, Bets, Darlene, Midgie, Connie, Gail, Gerry, Sue, Haroula and Joe I hope you all are enjoying the day.

I am off to the park with the dogs and then going to work until Insanity class tonight. yay Can't wait!

Have a happy day everyone! Life is good.

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#890730 - 05/29/13 12:12 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2314
Loc: Switzerland
Flyby day today....

birthday (belated, sorry) to Ana's son Peter!
We are here for you Ana!

Looney and Soot: safe travels!

Nan: kissy

Happy day to you all! wave

Evelyne
_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

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#890738 - 05/29/13 12:54 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7359
Loc: San Diego, CA
Another lovely day here! Going for the morning walk. Gonna check out the transients again to see if they still have their 'blockade' of the walkway at the park. If so, I think it's the day I call the police and ask for some assistance. The park is for everyone, but these guys seem to be taking more than their fair share (not to mention the filth and disgusting stuff strewn all over). It's like walking through a dark alley on a stormy night and just waiting for someone to jump out and grab you Ugh ugh ugh! Park closes at 7 each night. I think my friend and I will make another trip after dark and see if 'they' are still there after it closes. Hope not or I'll be really upset with the local law.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#890741 - 05/29/13 01:15 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7985
Loc: Greece
Ana birthdayto your Reter flowers
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#890772 - 05/29/13 03:12 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13755
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Ana have fun at the park with the dogs!! lol I can not believe it.......we are in the 70's and I don't need my long-johns or jacket to walk with Sassy today! happydance It is expected to rain later though.

Have a lovely evening Evelyne!!!

Sorta have a nice walk!

wave Haroula!!

Well time to think about getting ready so the taxi may make a run! Have a lovely rest of the day! Ana if the bar were closer I would drop them off and join you in Insanity!! lol

wave
Nan

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