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Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous #892907
06/07/13 02:55 PM
06/07/13 02:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
Barry Offline OP
Addicted Boomer
Barry  Offline OP
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,054
Sun City, AZ
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.


I've seen God, and his name is iPad. Let us pray
yes, I do use my Hairbrush as a Microphone and Dance around in my Underwear. Thank you very much.

Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892908
06/07/13 02:58 PM
06/07/13 02:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
rotfl

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #892910
06/07/13 03:39 PM
06/07/13 03:39 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
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Niki  Offline
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Posts: 4,624
UK
glad the little grass snake was ok snicker


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892941
06/07/13 07:20 PM
06/07/13 07:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Offline
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manxman  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
Barry, rotfl


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892942
06/07/13 07:27 PM
06/07/13 07:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,696
The Country
Winfrey Offline
BAAG Specialist
Winfrey  Offline
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Posts: 7,696
The Country
rotfl rotfl rotfl


Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody
Gibran
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892959
06/07/13 09:46 PM
06/07/13 09:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I can see that happening puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: looney4labs] #892976
06/08/13 01:07 AM
06/08/13 01:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
Homer6 Offline
BAAG Specialist
Homer6  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
rotfl rotfl slapforehead


If something gets your goat, it just proves you have a goat to get.
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892981
06/08/13 02:44 AM
06/08/13 02:44 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
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Posts: 10,027
Greece
lol rotfl wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #892987
06/08/13 04:38 AM
06/08/13 04:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,099
Marlborough USA
lol rotfl Too funny Barry!! Thanks for the side hurting laugh! rotfl lol


Gerry
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #893038
06/08/13 11:46 AM
06/08/13 11:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Oh sooo funny! Wonder if it's true, but then again, strange things do happen. I know from experience. rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #893076
06/08/13 03:27 PM
06/08/13 03:27 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
rotfl yep,makes perfect sense to me,too, sorta ! rotfl

Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: niteowl07] #893158
06/08/13 07:56 PM
06/08/13 07:56 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 34,287
United Kingdom
Mad Offline
Sonic Boomer
Mad  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 34,287
United Kingdom
Good one, thanks Barry !! lol lol lol


Time : The Most Precious Commodity
Re: Garden Snakes Can Be Dangerous [Re: Barry] #893159
06/08/13 08:04 PM
06/08/13 08:04 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Thanks Barry. lol


Gail
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