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#894083 - 06/12/13 10:14 PM Thursday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30067
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vet Exam

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.
The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a
shandy.
All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting
to see another Australian visitor.


The barman says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender says, "A tixidermist? What the hick is a
tixidermist? Do you drive a tixi?"
" No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount
animals."
The bartender grins and yells,
He's okay boys. He's one of us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you know that there is only two good things that come out of Oklahoma?

I-35 South & I-35 North...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me
the bill."

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for
$57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out
into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again
says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself
one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he
can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so
he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for
the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill
for $67.00.

The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the
living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says,
"Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill.
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you
drink."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York
and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing
over a beautiful bed of red roses.

"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That
poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can
help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with
me?"

The old man stood, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger
to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine
cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man,
and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke
ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Another one bites the dust. yay

I just hope the rest of them bite the dust before I do. tired

What's up around the world nowadays? smile

Around here the water's been up up up, but now it's down, and the only thing that's up, besides my sister's weight, is the temperature.

We're in the mid to upper 90s now. It won't be long before I'll be toe tapping across the parking lot asphalt at Lowe's, that I like to call the Saraha. happydance

I know that sounds like I'm trying to be funny, but.......sad

I'm as fond of Summer here as I am at getting a colonoscopy without anestesia. scared

I get to close the next three nights at work.

I'm about as fond of closing as I am a herniated disk. razz

Now that you know much more than you ever wanted to know about my likes and dislikes................well, my dislikes.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (06/12/13 10:18 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#894087 - 06/12/13 10:33 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65269
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
lol THanks for making me laugh and smile Joe. hearts

We are having torrential downpours right now and praying we don't lose satellite now that the Hawks are tied! yay

I will be painting and cleaning today. I must be sa freak because I actually enjoy fixing things around the house as long as I have time to do it.

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#894100 - 06/13/13 12:46 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 15349
Loc: Unionville
Thanks for the laughs today Joe. smile
Happy Thursday Joe, Ana and all boomers joining us later wave
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#894102 - 06/13/13 01:08 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: manxman]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9407
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Thursday is better than yesterday, yes? kissy

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Wednesday evening for me....

Just got home from dinner at daughter's. She is soooooo amazing! hearts She cooked this fantastic pasta dish, then we watched a recorded So You Think You Can Dance , and just enjoyed! It was fantastic!

So.

To all abed, sleep To all awake, woot
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#894107 - 06/13/13 02:25 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: Darlene]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6058
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Darlene,manxman,and all who arrive later waveI guess my sleeping late days are over tiredCoffee is ready for those who need it!Wishing you all a great day sherlock
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#894112 - 06/13/13 02:56 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7831
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,manxman,Darlene,Sue and all who come in later. wave
Have all a happy day. dance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#894117 - 06/13/13 04:51 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17330
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, Ana, manxman, Darlene, Cailyn, and Haroula. Joe hope the closings don't keep you to late at work. smirk Ana we are expecting another 3 inches of rain today and wind too. woozy Manxman and Darlene hope you have happy dreams. wave Cailyn I put some fresh coffee on. I hope you went back to bed this morning. sleep Take Care. flowers Haroula enjoy your day! Wishing everyone a nice day! catrub
_________________________
Gerry

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#894130 - 06/13/13 07:00 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8127
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. SIL is having a hip replacement next week. Today we will be taking her for her pre op appointment in Orlando. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Thursday. Danish, Apple Turnovers, French Toast and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#894141 - 06/13/13 07:34 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14582
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, send a little of that heat up here please.

Ana, too much rain around here also and it's about 10 degrees below average. Not like the June I remember.

Manxman, good morning.

Sue, thanks for the coffee. happydance

Darlene, wishing you a great day when you awake.

Haroula, happy day!

Gerry, oh boy, more coffee. Weather the same here.

Connie, hugs out to your SIL. Praying all will go well.

Expecting yet more torrential rain. Gaming day. dance
_________________________
Gail

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#894171 - 06/13/13 09:46 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

Hubby and I and the doggies popped up and headed to the park. It was warm but definitely like the last time we walked. A good walk was had by all. We came home awake and hot but not dying like the last time.

Keoki and I will head to the vet in a bit for a routine bloodtest for him. Since he takes pain meds every day we have to watch his liver function.

Then home to wait on the cable guy. The den looks like a toy store exploded in it, so I will be moving a few things back to the boys room, grouping a few to send to Va g'son and the rest to be given away.

Right now we are doing some Skywalker training....just becuase it's sitting on the floor Does Not Mean it is his to chew or play with. Perfect timing happydance




Edited by looney4labs (06/13/13 12:24 PM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894178 - 06/13/13 10:05 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9407
Loc: Southern California
wave

'Morning, again, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#894186 - 06/13/13 10:26 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: Darlene]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30067
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

Another sunny day is on it's way. yes

I don't go in to work until 2:00 this afternoon.

That makes it one very long day. razz

On the bright side, I yelled at 4 managers yesterday, and didn't get fired. slapforehead

yet... lol

I know today will be better. thumbsup

I'm going to have to make a run up to Walmart this morning because we are out of milk, and THAT is NOT acceptable. pacify

I hope everyone here has a fantastic day. rah Rah Rah!

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#894201 - 06/13/13 12:25 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Go get 'em Joe....somebody has to keep those managers in line wink

Back from the vet...all Keoki's blood work was great, so we are good for awhile now.

Off to tackle the mountain of toys. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894205 - 06/13/13 12:31 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13702
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Everybody in the path of that storm....prayers that you all be safe!!!

Joe thanks for the chuckles. May work be better today and those mowers sell.

Ana have a fun filled day!! Hope Merlin is better now.

wave Gerry, Cailyn, Haroula, manxman have a lovely and safe day!

Connie prayers for your friend! Hugs too. Safe travels so take the Band with you! Thanks for the danish!

Gail stay safe!! Poor Nina won't want to go out. lol Have a lovely day and Happy gaming!!

L4l good luck at the Vet's! Best of luck with the training!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Sounds like you had a lovely evening yesterday!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#894224 - 06/13/13 01:58 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Ok, toy mountain has been sorted....There are still toy piles but at least I know know where they are going and like items are bagged.

Just headed out to check the mail. There is a brown pit bull running the neighborhood with a broken chain dangling from his neck. I think it's the one that moved in a few months ago and who charges everyone who walks by and is the reason I don't walk in my neighborhood. I called Animal Control. Normally, I'd just grab him and take him home, but he is not friendly and the owners are not responsible, so the officers will have to deal with him.

The cable guy just called and said he'd be here in 10 minutes. Of course, my net has not gone off all day...at least not while I've been sitting here. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894234 - 06/13/13 02:35 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
3dobermans Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 13202
Loc: Palouse country
Morning and afternoon; been busy, pulling weeds and helping a neighbor weed her gardern, reseeding my yard and trying to get ready for Farm Fest on Sat. since I'll be having a yard sale at the same time.

L4L, have a friend here with 6 pitbulls; 3 are not friendly and 2 are okay. So much depends on socializing them. They do keep a close watch on their dogs though. Another neighbor has 1 pitbull that is tied all the time and is starting to turn mean. Take care.

Off to work some more so have a great day all.
_________________________
Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

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#894240 - 06/13/13 02:49 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Have fun Trippy. I'm with you. There used to be a big pit bull across the street and I took him home all the time. However, it is way too hot out there for anyone to leave a dog out. My backyard is all shade and my dogs are still way more in than out these days.

How is your gang?
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894243 - 06/13/13 03:10 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65269
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Passing through, lots accomplished and lots to go to finish todays todo list. Washing walls and cabinets in kitchen and family room and then painting and staining whatever needs it. My goal is to have two rooms done today so need to get back to it.

Have a happy day!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#894255 - 06/13/13 04:04 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9586
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good afternoon Boomers. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#894258 - 06/13/13 04:23 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2100
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Speakers on my PC went out so must play Halo 1 without sound. Sound sure kinda rounds out a game doesn't it. What do these electronics do at night anyway because everything breaks during nighttime and these did too. I will be at Walmart in Giddings tomorrow and can get them there if any look pretty good otherwise I'll order some through Amazon.

Gosh Ana, I get tired just reading your chores. Although when I was younger I could do stuff like that and throw in simple plumbing and carpentry. Now it's "work, I don't want to work, what do I want to work for".

Getting the urge to bake something, like real dense moist apple cake. That is so good.

Neighbors -half mile away- have a female pit bull and she was so kind and gentle. They have moved -I hope they take good care of her- she used to come over here.

Sun blazing hot today
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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#894270 - 06/13/13 04:57 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Yankee, I'm with you...work...eeeek!

Cable guy has come and gone and told me that the modem they gave us was not capable of the speed we are paying for. So now we have a cable modem and a phone modem. We shall see how this works. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894297 - 06/13/13 06:28 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
I am passing through as well. Hello to all of you! I Have missed you while being too worried to post much. The Great News is my Mum does not have to have surgery for her hernia as long as she doesn't pick up anything much over five pounds. She is the busiest 93 year old and very hard to contain at times! The winds have died down for the past three days and I am very happy about this too. I am finally seeing a few little green sprouts of things planted coming up, hooray!! we are going to be inundated with tomatoes this year. I hope to make and can lots of salsa and tomato sauce. If anyone has a proven recipe for sauce from raw tomatoes and wants to share it.... yes??!! Today we are just being lazy slugs and hanging out. Tomorrow Jerry has to go to a Memorial for his ex boss. He was killed last week by a falling tree. Such a sad thing. My Mum provides me with the welcome excuse for not going......did I really admit to that??? Heading back to the couch and my book aka Kindle. Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#894321 - 06/13/13 08:47 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21329
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Hello everyone .. whew, it's good to be home as work has been hectic and will continue to run at that tempo for the next two weeks .. home again home again, Hello L4L wink

Hope your day was kind and productive and wishing you a quiet evening

I am off to garden and provide home-based tech support yes

Take care everyone wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#894329 - 06/13/13 09:01 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14686
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi guys. I've had a busy day although I didn't have to work. I went to Waltham to the pain clinic to check in. Long ride home. Bad timing. The route 128 at 5:00 is not where I wanted to be but I needed to be brave and just drive it. Home now and looking at my day for tomorrow. I work from 8:00 to 11:00 in the morning, then I have a CAT scan around 11:00 to find out if I have a hernia or if it's something more serious. Will know soon I hope. Have a good night all.

Midgie hearts sleep woot
_________________________
Just do it.

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#894335 - 06/13/13 09:36 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Ahhhh, we have dined and fed dogs. Hubby helped me with a game problem....he's not called my Kisa for nothing. Dishwasher is running. Now it's time to call it a night and read. My book loan is about to expire eek

Lotus, your mother sounds precious. I hope you can keep her from lifting. You are among friends here...feel free to admit to being yourself. What are you reading? puppy

Soot kissy

Midgy, I hope you have answers soonest and feel better quickly. Was the pain clinic any help?

Sweet dreams all sleep
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#894341 - 06/13/13 09:52 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: looney4labs]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9586
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good night Boomers. sleep
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

Top
#894342 - 06/13/13 10:10 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65269
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
I am utterly exhausted. I finished everything but the painting in the two rooms. I stained the kitchen cabinets though and they look great. I also did an end table in the family room and I am pleased with the results so I will do the other one tomorrow.
I would have finished but I forgot to get spackle.

Midgie, positive thoughts for you tomorrow! hearts
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#894352 - 06/13/13 11:12 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
L4L, I could just hug you...just because!! My Mum is just that. You may laugh but one of the first freebie books I downloaded was David Copperfield. I honestly have never read it and am now over half way through. I don't think people today have half the brains they did back then....I guess why this is called a classic, lol. So much thought went into everything they said...we are so careless with our speech. Anyway, I hope you sleep well Ana!!! Good Night everyone!! sleep
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#894356 - 06/13/13 11:43 PM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65269
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Lotus, I am so sorry about your hubby's ex boss. How sad. I am glad your mom is doing better. I want to be a 93 year old feisty lady too. grin
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#894366 - 06/14/13 01:00 AM Re: Thursday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13702
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Midge prayers for tomorrow. HUGS and I am sending the Band with you too.

Time to head for bed. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.

sleep
Nan

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