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#898333 - 07/01/13 11:48 PM Toosday
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30060
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man in a bar saw a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he commented, "You look terrible. What's the problem?".

"My mother died in June", he said, "and left me $10,000".

"Gee, that's tough", he replied.

"Then in July", the driend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000".

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder your'e depressed".

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000".

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad".

"Then this month", continued the friend, "Nothing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets the word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.

As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them.

The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm afraid," said the heart surgeon, "that you're going to need a bypass operation."

The patient squirmed uneasily in the seat.

"I-I'd like a second opinion, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," replied the surgeon. "You're also ugly as sin."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now is considered to be mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays soundness of the mind."

"The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. When can I go home?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Two Indians and a Cajun were walking in the desert, when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. He hollered into the cave, "Wooooo! Wooooo!Woooooo!" and then listened until he heard the answer......."Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He then proceeded to tear his clothes off and run into the cave.
The Cajun was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the Indian crazy or something? "No," said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!", and get an answer back it means that she is in there waiting to mate with you."

Just about then, this Indian saw another cave. He took off and ran up to the cave and hollered, "Woooo! Woooo! Wooooo!" When he heard the return "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!", off came his clothes and into the cave he went.

Well, the Cajun started thinking about all of this and decided to find a cave for himself so off he went running around the desert searching. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw a great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Mon Amie! Look at zee size of dat cave. Maybe, it's beegerr den de ones dat dose Indi-ons found. Der mus be sometin' really great in dis here cave hole!"

Well, he took off up the hill at a super fast speed with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and hollered, "Woooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" as loud as he could. He was just tickled all over when he heard the answering call of "WOOOOO! WOOOOO! WOOOOO!"

Off came his clothes and, with a huge smile on his face, he raced into the cave.....

The next day in the newspaper, the headline read.......

"NAKED CAJUN RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Like sands through the old hour glass......so are the days of our lives. grin

No wonder I'm always so thirsty. shocked

I was wondering why there was always sand in my bed every morning. headscratch

Anyway it's a new day in Gameboomer land and in the diner, and I hope it's a happy one for all. rah

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#898335 - 07/01/13 11:54 PM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65211
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, the fact there is another diner here for us to start the day is a happy day! hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe and all!

Ana wave
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#898348 - 07/02/13 03:16 AM Re: Toosday [Re: BrownEyedTigre]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6056
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana waveQuiet in here this morning or it could be that it's only 3:15 tiredWishing you all a happy day! Coffee is on puppy
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#898349 - 07/02/13 03:25 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7807
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana,Sue nd all who come in later. wave
Have a nice day happydance
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#898355 - 07/02/13 04:16 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17300
Loc: Marlborough USA
summer Good Morning Joe, Ana, Sue, and Haroula. Joe it is so nice to start my day in the Diner. Ana it is a happy day to start this way. Sue thanks for the coffee. Hope all is well with you. Haroula you have a nice day as well. Wishing everyone a peaceful day. summer
_________________________
Gerry

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#898362 - 07/02/13 06:06 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5495
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave

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#898363 - 07/02/13 06:30 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8115
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Took McDonald's to SIL yesterday. Today may be a bank trip, not sure yet. Nan, they are still waiting on insurance to give them the go ahead to start demo on the house. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#898366 - 07/02/13 06:48 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14553
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have fun today!

Ana, I agree. Just waking up in the morning is a good day for me. The Diner is a plus.

Sue, thanks for always having the coffee ready.

Haroula, happy day!

Gerry, enjoy the day!

Venus, good morning.

Connie, have fun whatever you decide to do today.

Weather is the same old, same old. Sun is hiding out there somewhere.
_________________________
Gail

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#898380 - 07/02/13 09:33 AM Re: Toosday [Re: GBC]
gymcandy1 Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30060
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. wave

It's shaping up to be a nice day in the mid 80s again, and I'm about ready to get out and get some things done. happydance

Starting with a Walmart trip to get groceries.

I hope it's a nice day for everybody. yes

Have a great day Ana, Sue, Haroula, Gerry, Venus, Connie, Gail, and all. rah

joe


Edited by gymcandy1 (07/02/13 09:33 AM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#898386 - 07/02/13 09:59 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9400
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Like sands through the old hour glass......so are the days of our lives.
I actually used to watch this soap when I was a teen.... smile Hope your day is exactly as you'd like it to be!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

One more day closer to a nice looooooonnnnggg weekend! woot

Temps still in the 100's today.

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#898406 - 07/02/13 11:13 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13689
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the laughs today! Best way to start a new day! Happy shopping!!!

Ana I pray the corner is being kind to you and that things are moving right along.

I'm not even sure that she knows that mom is gone, yet. duh Mom hasn't always been around.

Glad you had a visit from Peter!! Always a pleasant surprise!!

Cailyn thank you for getting the coffee started!! Hope you are feeling better. Is it busy in the campground?? Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry what plans for your day? Have a lovely day!

Gail I agree with you.....I am always glad when He has blessed me with another day!! Hope your weather gets better soon. We were at 44 when me and Sassy went walking this morning. lol One day we cook and then freeze for the next few. Have a lovely day!

venus Happy Whooshing and may work be fun and the time fly! Have a lovely day!

Connie that was nice that you went to the "Golden Arches" and brought some to sil!!! Prayers that the ins company gets a move on things so they can get on with things. HUGS to all! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene may all go smoothly today! It is really nice to have a long weekend to look forward to. Have a lovely day!

No plans here yet. But then ya never know what might just pop up!!

wave
Nan

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#898410 - 07/02/13 11:55 AM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42376
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Rough night's sleep last night, so wimped out on the early morning walk. I do miss it. My body feels slugged out. I bet if I had gone walking I'd feel much better.

Son and Perrin still in the arms of Morpheus. Cully up playing Wii very quietly and I'm heading back to my recipe project. I think I will be able to finish it today, or at the very latest, tomorrow.

We have the sun that ya'll are missing, so come on down.
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#898413 - 07/02/13 12:14 PM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7284
Loc: San Diego, CA
70 degrees here and 95 percent humidity! Not our normal dry climate. I feel like I showered in my clothes. Ugh!
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#898423 - 07/02/13 01:43 PM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42376
Loc: Alabama
Sorta, that is our normal climate.....lol
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#898430 - 07/02/13 03:09 PM Re: Toosday [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Afternoon!! L4L, my Mum used to tell my teenaged friends when they called that I was in the arms of Morpheus. My girlfriends never knew what to think, lol. We aren't used to humidity either, Sorta but have experienced some recently as well. It really does leave one feeling like a limp, wet rag!! I'm rearranging my art/computer room, ongoing for a month or more but I really have gained more space, which I fill back up way too soon. Off to play some more. Happy Gaming everyone!!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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