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#903948 - 07/26/13 07:50 PM Saturdiner
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29795
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
There is a harmony
In autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792 - 1822)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The 75-year-old groom, with the young wife, caused a lot of
attention as he checked into the resort hotel.

The following morning, the old boy came strutting into the dining
room, lookin' great with a big smile on his face. He proceeded to
order an enormous breakfast.

He laughed and joked and was in obvious good spirits, whereas his
young wife, who came into the room a half hour later, looked worn
out. She ordered coffee in a voice so weak the waiter had to ask
her to repeat the order.

The old man finished his breakfast, excused himself and left for
their room. This gave the waitress a chance to ask the bride,
"Honey, I can't figure it out. The old geezer, your husband, looks
like a million and you look like two cents. What's wrong?"

"That guy double-crossed me," the bride said. "He told me he'd
saved up for fifty years! And all the time I thought he was
talking about money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


An American tourist visited a small town in Spain.

The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honoured guest at the hotel.

Dinning for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.

He suggested the "cojones".

The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today."

He was shocked but agreed to try them after being assured it was a delicacy reserved only for special guests.

The tourist found them to be very tasty.

The next night he again ordered them for dinner.

The waiter complied but somewhat reluctantly.

The tourist again found them to be very tasty but asked the waiter why they were so much smaller than before.

The waiter said, "You see, Senor, sometimes it is the bull that wins!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Boss, I've got to have a raise," the salesman said to his sales manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that a fact?" the manager asked. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Nonsense, come on!" the farmer insisted. "Well, okay," the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "Why do you think your Pa would be upset with you?"

"Cause he's out there under the wagon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians.

Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly.

All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.

"I have only one condition," he said. "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check.

The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with,

"But, compared to his brother, he was a saint."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."

"Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George."

"I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister."

"Oh now don't you pay any attention to what he says son. He's not really your father."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Let's see this is either Tuesday, or Thursday for me. think

I'm so confused. headscratch

That's ok though. You guys go ahead and enjoy your Saturday. yes

I'm going to get up at 4:30, I get to sleep late, and go in to work, and get off at 3:00. thumbsup

I hope when I dream tonight, I dream that I'm sleeping. lol

While I'm hoping I may as well hope you all have a happy day. woot

Heck I may as well hope you all get rich today too. penguin

When you get rich do you think you could spot me a couple of hundred?

Have a happy one everyone.

joe



Edited by gymcandy1 (07/26/13 07:51 PM)
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#903950 - 07/26/13 08:10 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63427
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, define rich? grin I may not be rolling in money but I am rich. hearts

I hope your work day passes quickly and your playtime is fun!

I'll be in the corner...again. lol

Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#903956 - 07/26/13 09:06 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9099
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Thanks for the jokes Joe. thumbsup
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#903958 - 07/26/13 09:16 PM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 13962
Loc: Unionville
Great jokes Joe rotfl Hope everyone has a super saturday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#903988 - 07/27/13 12:50 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: manxman]
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/04/04
Posts: 1742
Loc: Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Boom Boom Buddies

greattt jokes Joe! sure have missed
them! Good day to you~ may your feet
not get sore wink

Hi Ana Have a good day wave

Hi ya space quest! how are you doing?
how is your dogs? are you having
hot weather? flowers

Hi maxman How are you doing? smile

Have a super Saturday everyone
I'm going to the tack sale at the barn
with Bella puppy Karen


Edited by Drmojo (07/27/13 12:56 AM)
_________________________
OSO live
OSO Love
++OSO Strong++



Peace be with you~

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#904003 - 07/27/13 04:39 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: Drmojo]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 5956
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning boomers wave The coffee is ready,wishing you all a sunny day summer
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#904005 - 07/27/13 04:48 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16342
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, manxman, Karen and Cailyn. Hope you all have a nice day! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#904012 - 07/27/13 06:19 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13782
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs. Enjoy your day!

Ana, sending snacks over to the the corner.

Space, good morning!

Manxman, have a great day!

Karen, enjoy the barn today. I know Bella will.

Sue, coffee pleeeese!

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

We're off to the beach for the day. woot
_________________________
Gail

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#904016 - 07/27/13 07:17 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7820
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, English Muffins, and Pancakes in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#904019 - 07/27/13 08:01 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: connie]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9099
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
It is raining here this morning but at least things have cooled off. smile
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#904047 - 07/27/13 09:57 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/08/06
Posts: 11720
Loc: Scotland
Hiya Boomers! Hope everything's good with you all!

Hit the ground running this morning...prepping for Kieran's party tonight! Got five minutes or so before we're off again to set up the hall.

Have a great day guys!

Mary hearts
_________________________
"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin

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#904062 - 07/27/13 10:26 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14477
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi all. I hope you have a great Saturday. I have to be at work for 5:00 this afternoon.Much to do until then. Bye wave

Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#904064 - 07/27/13 10:34 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 41518
Loc: Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll

I'm hanging in the kitchen with my Kman. Think I'll do some baking today...dog bones and fairy gingerbread. Reading also has a prominent spot on my agenda. If I get the chance I need to go buy kitty litter but that means carrying Keoki up to his kennel so that might not happen. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#904086 - 07/27/13 11:34 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 63427
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Whoever stole summer please bring it back....this is completely unacceptable. summer It's in the 50's with a low of 40's. I require my summer heat and sunshine and I feel like I'm ready to go into winter hibernation instead. lol

In the corner and hope to run the dogs later. Still enjoying Peters visit in the meantime.

Hope you all are enjoying the day!
Ana wave
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#904089 - 07/27/13 11:47 AM Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5226
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope work flies by today, Joe.

Ana, you can have some of my summer heat if you want it. lol Hope your project is going well.

Glad things have cooled off for you, Space Quest.

Have a super Saturday, too, manxman.

Have fun at the barn with Bella today, Karen. puppy

Enjoy your Saturday, Cailyn.

Have a nice day also, Gerry.

Have fun at the beach, Gail. woot

Thanks for all the delicious food, Connie. On top of the breakfast I already had this morning, this is going to make me extremely full. lol

Have fun at the party tonight, Mary. rah

Hope work goes well tonight, Midge.

Have fun baking and reading, L4L. thumbsup

I'm off today. No plans, but since tomorrow is going to be a very busy day - work and then a Pampered Chef party at my friend's house - I think I'll take advantage of the relaxing quiet day, and maybe play a game or two. smile

Hope everyone here is having a terrific Saturday. summer

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