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#914359 - 09/19/13 02:30 AM Jokes.
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.A cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Be on the lookout for h------- c-------s.

-2.What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

o------ --- w-----.

-3.A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "--- ----- a c----?"

-4.I am bald. As a joke a friend of mine gave me a comb
for my birthday.
I told him," thank you very much, -'-- -e-e- ---- ---- it".

-5.What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?

a -----.

-6.On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How m---
--- - -e---n p---?"

-7.My Aunt used this cream that promised to give her the skin of a teenager.
A week later, --e b---e --- in p----e-.

-8.You will never hear e Redneck say:
My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is -e----e-e- at T------'s

9.If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two Aspirin" and "-ee- a--- f--- c-----e-."

-10.Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?", asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"- --- --e w---- n-----," replied Mrs. Smith.

lol


Edited by curly (09/19/13 01:08 PM)
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#914362 - 09/19/13 03:13 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 1369
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
4. I'll never part with it. wave
_________________________
Bob
I've learned that if you're too busy to help a friend, you're too busy.

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#914363 - 09/19/13 03:35 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Bob.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#914372 - 09/19/13 04:59 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16303
Loc: Marlborough USA
3. How about a chair? lol
_________________________
Gerry

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#914373 - 09/19/13 05:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 6896
Loc: Greece
2.Outlaws are wanted lol
Good morning wave
_________________________
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.





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#914375 - 09/19/13 06:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: Haroula]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
1. hardened criminals wave
_________________________
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#914376 - 09/19/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#914377 - 09/19/13 06:37 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Urban Worrier Offline

Adept Boomer

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 13859
Loc: Bucks, England
10. I got the wrong number lol wave
_________________________
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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#914378 - 09/19/13 06:46 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 12994
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

7. she broke out in pimples eek
_________________________
Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#914379 - 09/19/13 06:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 13757
Loc: Massachusetts
5. a widow

Morning curly, lol
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Gail

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#914381 - 09/19/13 07:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Morning, good answers.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#914383 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 2266
Loc: Ohio
8. registered at Tiffany's lol

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#914387 - 09/19/13 09:02 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks michele.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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#914401 - 09/19/13 10:34 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 3425
Loc: California
6. How much for a season pass? grin


wave

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#914410 - 09/19/13 11:41 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 27181
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good one Sondi.
_________________________
Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't put on his pants.

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