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#914359 - 09/19/13 02:30 AM Jokes.
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.A cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Be on the lookout for h------- c-------s.

-2.What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

o------ --- w-----.

-3.A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "--- ----- a c----?"

-4.I am bald. As a joke a friend of mine gave me a comb
for my birthday.
I told him," thank you very much, -'-- -e-e- ---- ---- it".

-5.What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?

a -----.

-6.On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How m---
--- - -e---n p---?"

-7.My Aunt used this cream that promised to give her the skin of a teenager.
A week later, --e b---e --- in p----e-.

-8.You will never hear e Redneck say:
My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is -e----e-e- at T------'s

9.If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two Aspirin" and "-ee- a--- f--- c-----e-."

-10.Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?", asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"- --- --e w---- n-----," replied Mrs. Smith.

lol


Edited by curly (09/19/13 01:08 PM)
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

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#914362 - 09/19/13 03:13 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 3440
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
4. I'll never part with it. wave
_________________________
Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.

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#914363 - 09/19/13 03:35 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Bob.
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

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#914372 - 09/19/13 04:59 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22796
Loc: Marlborough USA
3. How about a chair? lol
_________________________
Gerry

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#914373 - 09/19/13 05:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
2.Outlaws are wanted lol
Good morning wave
_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".


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#914375 - 09/19/13 06:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: Haroula]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
1. hardened criminals wave
_________________________
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#914376 - 09/19/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

Top
#914377 - 09/19/13 06:37 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Urban Worrier Offline

Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 17234
Loc: Bucks, England
10. I got the wrong number lol wave
_________________________
First law of radiography: The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

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#914378 - 09/19/13 06:46 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 13701
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

7. she broke out in pimples eek
_________________________
Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#914379 - 09/19/13 06:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
5. a widow

Morning curly, lol
_________________________
Gail

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#914381 - 09/19/13 07:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Morning, good answers.
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

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#914383 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 7942
Loc: Ohio
8. registered at Tiffany's lol

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#914387 - 09/19/13 09:02 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks michele.
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

Top
#914401 - 09/19/13 10:34 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 4755
Loc: California
6. How much for a season pass? grin


wave

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#914410 - 09/19/13 11:41 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Online   happy
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 36676
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good one Sondi.
_________________________
A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there's nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!

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