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#914359 - 09/19/13 02:30 AM Jokes.
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
-1.A cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Be on the lookout for h------- c-------s.

-2.What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

o------ --- w-----.

-3.A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her?

She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "--- ----- a c----?"

-4.I am bald. As a joke a friend of mine gave me a comb
for my birthday.
I told him," thank you very much, -'-- -e-e- ---- ---- it".

-5.What do you call a woman who knows exactly where her husband is every night?

a -----.

-6.On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students to point out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be off limits for all male students, and the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking these rules will be fined $40 the first time, $90 the second time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the third time will be fined a hefty $200. Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How m---
--- - -e---n p---?"

-7.My Aunt used this cream that promised to give her the skin of a teenager.
A week later, --e b---e --- in p----e-.

-8.You will never hear e Redneck say:
My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is -e----e-e- at T------'s

9.If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two Aspirin" and "-ee- a--- f--- c-----e-."

-10.Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?", asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"- --- --e w---- n-----," replied Mrs. Smith.

lol


Edited by curly (09/19/13 01:08 PM)
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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#914362 - 09/19/13 03:13 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 1911
Loc: 47.79N, 122.24W
4. I'll never part with it. wave
_________________________
Bob
I've learned that if you're too busy to help a friend, you're too busy.

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#914363 - 09/19/13 03:35 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks Bob.
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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#914372 - 09/19/13 04:59 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17504
Loc: Marlborough USA
3. How about a chair? lol
_________________________
Gerry

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#914373 - 09/19/13 05:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 8010
Loc: Greece
2.Outlaws are wanted lol
Good morning wave
_________________________
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#914375 - 09/19/13 06:01 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: Haroula]
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 4624
Loc: UK
1. hardened criminals wave
_________________________
What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now

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#914376 - 09/19/13 06:20 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good ones.
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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#914377 - 09/19/13 06:37 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Urban Worrier Offline

Adept Boomer

Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 14467
Loc: Bucks, England
10. I got the wrong number lol wave
_________________________
Me and Mrs Worrier go everywhere together. That way I don't have to kiss her goodbye.

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#914378 - 09/19/13 06:46 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 09/11/02
Posts: 13659
Loc: Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

7. she broke out in pimples eek
_________________________
Wouldn't that jar your mustard!

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#914379 - 09/19/13 06:54 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14714
Loc: Massachusetts
5. a widow

Morning curly, lol
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Gail

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#914381 - 09/19/13 07:05 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Morning, good answers.
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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#914383 - 09/19/13 07:15 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
michele rose Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 3221
Loc: Ohio
8. registered at Tiffany's lol

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#914387 - 09/19/13 09:02 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Thanks michele.
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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#914401 - 09/19/13 10:34 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
Sondi Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/15/05
Posts: 3648
Loc: California
6. How much for a season pass? grin


wave

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#914410 - 09/19/13 11:41 AM Re: Jokes. [Re: curly]
curly Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 07/06/03
Posts: 28619
Loc: Ottawa Ontario Canada
Good one Sondi.
_________________________
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

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