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#970179 - Today at 01:10 AM Monday Sunshine.......and Heat
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29941
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bubba calls Dr. Sobers in the middle of the night and says, "Dr. Sobers, the missus is experiencing severe pain in the stomach. Think it's her appendix."

Doctor Sobers, obviously upset for being disturbed at 1 am, growls, "What the hell are you talking? I removed your wife's appendix just a year back! Get off the phone

and let me sleep!"

After about 10 minutes, Bubba calls again and says, "Dr Sobers, I am mighty sure it's her appendix."

Dr. Sobers yells, "Good lord, have I not told you already I removed her appendix. Do you know of anyone having a second appendix?"

Bubba replies, "No. I have not. But I can bet you know of someone having a second wife!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Jones had served many years as an Obstetrician/gynecologist, but he felt he had reached a saturation point. His mind was no longer in his job. He wanted to do something else for the rest of his life. Dr. Jones had a fascination for mechanical things and remembered he enjoyed automotive training in school and, therefore decided to go in for a career change and to become an auto mechanic. He enrolled at an automotive school.

He completed the course and was required to appear for the final exams. The physical exam consisted of taking a car engine apart and then putting it back together. Dr. Jones completed his project and was amazed to receive a grade of 125%. Dr. Jones asked the examiner how could he score a 125%.

"Well," answered the examiner, "I granted you 50% for taking the engine apart, 50% for putting it back together and another 25% for doing everything through the muffler"!
~~~~~~~~~

Chiropractic Dr. Herbert called Mrs. Hanks and said, "Mrs. Hanks, your check has returned."

Mrs. Hanks commented, "So has my back pain."
~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Jones enters the student classroom and starts shouting, "Tetanus! Insulin! Booster!"

One student asked another, "What the hell do you think he is doing?"

The other student replied, "Calling the shots."
~~~~~~~~~~~

A man was suffering from insomnia and went to see a doctor. After a thorough checkup, the doctor declared, “The only remedy for this suffering is not to take tension with you when you go to bed.”

Patient replies, “That’s exactly what I have been telling my wife. But she refuses to use the guest room.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin : “Doctor, there was decay in my upper tooth. You said a worm was eating it away. But you have pulled out my lower tooth. Why?”

Doctor : “You are right. Actually the worm was standing on your lower tooth and doing the job. Now it has no tooth to stand on.”

Ok that's just dumb. slapforehead
~~~~~~~~~~~~

My grandpa, 86 years of age, went to see the doctor and asked, "Is it normal at my age to have problems with short term memory storage?"

The doctor replied, "Mr. Asher, storing memory is not the problem, retrieving it is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dillon called his family doctor and declared, "My son has Venereal disease! The only woman he has slept with is our house-help."

"Take it easy," the doctor said. "Bring him to me immediately and I'll take care of him."

Dillon said, "But doctor, I have been fooling around with the house-help too, and my symptoms are the same as that of my son."

"Well then, you come in with him and I'll see what I can do for the both of you," replied the doctor.

"Tell you what," Dillon went on, "I think my wife has it too."

"Goodness!" the doctor exclaimed, "That means we have all got it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

There are three old men seated inside a doctor's cabin - all suffering from bad memory.

The doctor wants to take a little test - so he asks the first old man, "Can you tell me what is four times four?"

The first man replies, "756".

The doctor can't believe this. So he moves on to the second old man asks him, "Your turn. What is four times four?"

The second man replies, "Friday".

The doctor shakes his head in disbelief and then asks the third man, "Do you think you have the answer?"

The third old man replies, "Sixteen".

"Wonderful!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Easy," the third old man replies, "Just add 756 to Friday."
~~~~~~~~~~


Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I am really about to pass out. sleep


It's 11:66 and I'm ready to release this day, and let it fly away. wave


I hope you all have a fantastic-ly happy day. thumbsup


joe




_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#970182 - Today at 01:38 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7473
Loc: Greece
Good morning Boomers. Have all a great day. smile wave summer
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#970191 - Today at 05:42 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 16853
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe and Haroula. Coffee is ready. Happy Day wished for All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#970199 - Today at 06:53 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14228
Loc: Massachusetts
Morning Boomers: smile

Joe, wishing you a great day.

Haroula, happy day to you!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Wishing a wonderful day to everyone! Stormy weather on the way here. thumbsdown
_________________________
Gail

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#970210 - Today at 07:51 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 7978
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful start to the new week. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#970213 - Today at 08:06 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: connie]
Volkana Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 01/03/08
Posts: 1968
Loc: Greece
Good morning everyone!
Just came back from work...
It's so hot outside... i don't have the courage to go outside again not even for the beach lol

AC is perfect this time of day

Have a great day everyone!!!! wave
_________________________
Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

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#970217 - Today at 08:17 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
manxman Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 14755
Loc: Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Hope everyone is having a merry Monday smile
_________________________
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.

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#970226 - Today at 08:57 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
RebKean Offline
Shy Boomer

Registered: 07/20/14
Posts: 55
Loc: Sweden
A very humid good morning/afternoon from the North. =)

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#970246 - Today at 10:01 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: RebKean]
Darlene Online   content
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9296
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! 11:66, eh? wink Hope you have a fantastic-ly happy day, as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#970247 - Today at 10:03 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64444
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I actually had a full nights sleep again. Merlin finally slept through the night or I was too passed out to wake up. lol It's a full work day today, no time for the dogs. At least it's a chilly day (only 58 here right now) so I can leave the patio door open and they cab let themselves out and in.

Have a happy day all!
_________________________
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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#970248 - Today at 10:04 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: RebKean]
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 29941
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I've been lazy so far this morning. I am tired. tired

Now it's time to get in gear and do something. happydance

Not quite sure what, but I'll figure it out. thumbsup

I hope it's a super day for all Boomers.


joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#970253 - Today at 10:46 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7473
Loc: Greece
It's beach time... dance summer wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#970257 - Today at 11:29 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13516
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy your weekend!! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula enjoy the beach and have a lovely rest of the day!

Gerry thanks for coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail rainy days equal gaming days!! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Volkana hope it cools some for you. Stay cool and have a lovely rest of the day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

RebKean hope the humidity goes down soon. Have a lovely rest of the day!

Darlene I saw that too. LOL How did the shopping go???? May work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

Ana it floated between 55F and 60F all day yesterday with rain and drizzle and a few thunderboomers. Sunny today and already 69! May the corner be kind, the pups be forgiving and the puzzles go easy! Have a lovely day!

Little Tommy is coming over in a bit to visit with "GG" (me)! He is such a cutie!!

wave
Nan

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#970258 - Today at 11:37 AM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42069
Loc: Alabama
Magnificient Monday ya'll puppy

Hoooo, boy, it's icky, nasty out there. Hubby and I were up at 5:15 to go walking and it was already 79 degrees out there eek There was a nice cool little breeze though. Weatherman said it will be in the high 60's at night later in the week once this front moves through. Sounds wonderful.

Then home to do various chores and a little research, then up for a tiny nap. I used the yogurt timer as a wake up call. So yogurt is "yo-ing". Time for coffee. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#970276 - Today at 12:35 PM Re: Monday Sunshine.......and Heat [Re: gymcandy1]
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 08/27/04
Posts: 2026
Loc: Lexington, Texas
Heat wave be damned, full cleaning ahead!!! and that's exactly what I did and only 2 rooms left and house looks much better -till tomorrow.

Bud is fine, cats are stretched out 3 feet long, Bud looking for a cool place to relax, I'm relaxing and getting drowzy. Maybe a good ol' fashioned cholesterol breakfast would help. But too hot to cook.

We need a Penelope newscast. Pets are so great as they get our minds off the ho hum rum dum routine. And Penelope does that very well.

Hard to believe but gardeners here are planting their fall gardens. soon I'll be complaining about the cold.

Happy monday all
_________________________
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

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