The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- W. C. Fields.
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Actual Medical Record Entries Mistakes From DoctorsDischarge status: alive but without permission.
The patient has been depressed ever since
she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells
at another hospital.
Between you and me, we ought to be able
to get this lady pregnant.
She is numb from her toes down.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you would like to work her up.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
Both breasts are equal and reactive
to light and accommodation.
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It's been a while, but still just as funny.
Funniest Bush quotes for 2004 are: 10) “I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”
—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004
9) “Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.”
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004
8) “Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.”
—Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004
7) “It’s a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life.”
—Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2004
6) We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That’s why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental — supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel.”
—Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004
5) “After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer army!”
—Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004
4) “Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004
3) “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.”
—second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
2) “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
1) “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
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Stupid and Funny Warning Labels and Product Instructions
You’ve probably seen some of these classic dumb, stupid and funny warning labels and product instructions before. Some are painfully obvious, some don’t quite master the English language, and others are unintended double meanings… Most are pretty darn funny. So, in case you missed any, here is a collection of the stupidest and funniest warning labels, most verified as authentic.Do not use while sleeping.
Sears hair dryer
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Bag of Fritos
Use like regular soap.
Dial soap
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinner
Fits one head.
Shower cap box
Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert box
Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Do not iron clothes on body.
Rowenta iron
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Boot’s children’s cough medicine
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Nytol
Warning: Keep out of children.
Korean kitchen knife
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Chinese Christmas lights
Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor
Warning: Contains nuts.
Sainsbury’s peanuts
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
American Airlines peanut packet
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Swedish chainsaw
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Good morning everyboomie.
I've got news for them. The best way to iron clothes is while you're wearing them.
It's also a
good, great way to get rid of unwanted body hair.
I'm happy to say that the skin will grow back, in case you're wondering.
Welcome to the weekend everyone.
Yesterday was a wee bit warmer, and I got out to go to Walmart, & took Baby out for a walk, not at Walmart, but around the block.
They do allow wiener dogs in Walmart, but I think you know where they have to stay.
I know that because I bought some yesterday, and freed them.
I also bought them some buns to help keep them warm.
Have a happy day y'all.
joe