After the denture clinic I went to the grocery store with hubby. I had the money so I had to pay, I couldn't find the money in my wallet. I was in pain with my sciatica and with the pressure of trying to get it done quick, hubby had to find the money for me. I have to get out more, it's the anxiety turning me dull. I said last year was going to be the year I got out more and that didn't happen but this time, that's it, I'm not spending another summer locked up in the house. I am putting a cap on this anxiety and I'm getting out in public more. It's ridiculous and frustrating

I understand how you feel, and I don't think you are pathetic at all. I rarely get out, due to the fact that I am the full-time caregiver for my 90-year-old mother. Just going to the grocery store feels like a big deal. Just go out every so often, and it will start to feel more comfortable with time. Try to find a balance between staying home and going out. Everyone feels anxious from time to time - remind yourself that we all feel this way at times, and that will help with the feelings of awkwardness.

Don't give up. Pain is a constant with those of us who have back problems and/or arthritis. When I first had a 'disc' problem I was in such pain, I couldn't eat, move, do anything. I actually slept on my couch for months because to get into the bed was way too much. The pain pills the doctor prescribes make me a bit 'numb' and I often forget where I'm going in the store and count out the wrong monies, or have to think a lot to remember where I parked, etc. It's not fun, but considering that I spent an entire year NOT going out of my house because of the pain and inability to stand for more than a few minutes, I think now I am doing OK.

Don't worry if you aren't 'tip-top'. I used to pride myself on being oh so right on everything and now it's kinda fun to muse over what silly stuff I do. I just consider this me, being like everyone else. My sister and my husbands (yes 2 of them) kept telling me that I was ALWAYS right in everything and it bothered them. Sorry, it was just what God gave me. Now I'm not so right all the time and it's humbling. I've learned to laugh at my 'faults'.

Push through that pain, don't worry about little mistakes. Keep that goal of getting out this summer. Take it slow and in small strides. I force myself to get out of the house every day now, just to keep from being too comfortable. Gads, if someone would shop for me, do all my chores, cook for me, do the laundry, the gardening, take out the trash, I'd be thrilled, BUT I would lose ME.

Keeping you in my prayers. You can do this. Baby steps. I'm right there beside you in spirit.

StarLite Moon, I feel for you. Good for you for making the commitment to get out more. You will find that, over time, it gets better.

I have been through some of what you are going through. I found that it helped not to think about how hard it had been or how long it would take to recover. I did best when I just thought about pushing out against the anxiety that day. It kept it from feeling like too big of a hill to climb.

You are not pathetic. You don't like your current situation and you're doing something about it. You are making yourself better.

I wish you the best. You can do it!

One step at a time StarLite, Each little step is a win. I'll be sending a prayer up for you tonight.

As others have said StarLite don't put pressure on your self. Do one little task at a time. Make a small list when you go to the store and stick to it. If you have lots to get you can divide it up into smaller list to do each day. Not so much to worry about that way.
Take Care.
Gerry

Thank you everyone for your wonderful encouragement. It's funny, when hubby asked me yesterday if I was ok to go the store with him I told him that now that I'm out I don't want to go back home. The worst of it though was seeing all the goodies. My Kryptonite is baked goods, and I was surrounded by them, pies, cakes, Jamaican Honeybuns. I felt like buckling to my knees, so hubby told me to go look at the cheese. I have to be careful in stores though, I start grabbing at everything, mean while $150.00 later. I'm going to try to go out on Monday.

Once I'm out, I'm fine as long as there's no pressure and I know there's a washroom close by. It's just getting out the door. Every time I have to leave the house I lose control of my bowels and bladder. But I never know how the anxiety will react, I could start vomiting, fainting, lose my temper if provoked. It's ridiculous, and it came over me all of a sudden. Hubby was looking up anxiety disorder and everyone's message about it was the same, it just came over them with no warning. Oh well, but I will work on it this year for sure. Will keep you posted

OK Starlite. If you are suddenly having 'attacks', and you are on medications, check on the side effects. Many of the 'pain' medications have that effect. One especially that I finally figured out was from my pain clinic doctor. She gave me something that it seems everyone with chronic pain gets. It's one you have to take one a day, then 2 a day, gradually stepping up to 5 or more a day and you can't stop without going the other way stepping down. Did your doctor give you something like that for the back/leg pain? I later found out that this particular drug was an 'anti-depressant'. I was NOT depressed when I started, I was just IN PAIN! I guess they thought everyone in pain was depressed? Geez! I stopped the pills and went back to the normal (although in pain) me.

One doctor gave me an oral asthma pill many years ago thinking it would be better than an inhaler. Little did she or I know that within 2 months, I would be having screaming matches with my hubby, running off in my car driving to nowhere, and crying hysterically all the time, while saying, "THIS isn't ME!" "What's wrong with me?" Once I figured out it wasn't ME I stopped the pills. Cured! She later told me they had steroids in them and that they could have been the cause of my outbursts. Lesson learned. Check all your medications for side effects (even if the warning labels don't list the one you think you have}. And if they are anti-depressants, they can seriously and quickly alter the real you.

Just a thought for you. Hope it might help.

StarLite: If you are indeed seeing a medical professional and/or taking prescription medications of any sort, don't quit taking them without contacting your doctor. Everyone's bodies, medical needs, and reactions to medications are different.

Starlite maybe start today by just opening the door and standing there - do not step outside. Try that several times and see if you can take one step out the door without being anxious. Just keep repeating this until you feel calm. Maybe it could help you stay calm knowing one step back and you are in the house. As Sorta said meds can have side affects that can cause issues like yours to become exaggerated.