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Happy Hump Day #1135772
12/19/17 09:09 PM
12/19/17 09:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If he gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.

~Pope Francis~
``````````````

What a difference 30 years makes:

1973: Long hair
2003: Longing for hair

1973: The perfect high
2003: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1973: KEG
2003: EKG

1973: Acid rock
2003: Acid reflux

1973: Moving to California because it's cool
2003: Moving to California because it's warm

1973: Growing pot
2003: Growing pot belly

1973: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2003: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1973: Seeds and stems
2003: Roughage

1973: Popping pills, smoking joints
2003: Popping joints

1973: Killer weed
2003: Weed killer

1973: Hoping for a BMW
2003: Hoping for a BM

1973: The Grateful Dead
2003: Dr. Kevorkian

1973: Going to a new, hip joint
2003: Receiving a new hip joint

1973: Rolling Stones
2003: Kidney Stones

1973: Being called into the principal's office
2003: Calling the principal's office

1973: Screw the system
2003: Upgrade the system

1973: Disco
2003: Costco

1973: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2003: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1973: Taking acid
2003: Taking antacid

1973: Passing the drivers' test
2003: Passing the vision test

1973: Whatever
2003: Depends

`````````````

The hunchback of notre dame dies so they need to find a new bell-ringer. this guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it.

"But you've got no arms!" everyone explains. He says I'll use my mouth.

So he uses his mouth to ring the bell and goes flying out of the window because the bell is so heavy.

He's lying dead on the ground and a big crowd gathers.

"Who's that guy?" one person says.

"I dunno, but his face rings a bell!!"

`````````````````

Two friends are walking in the jungle.

Suddenly a tiger appears in the distance running toward them. One friend pulls a pair of 'Nikes' out of his bag and quickly puts them on.

With a surprised look, the other friend says, "You don't really think you can out run that tiger with those?"

"I don't need to out run the tiger", his friend replies, "I just need to run faster than you".

```````

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian.

He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The veterinarian told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she could go to the store for 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in its ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drugstore and gets some Nair.

At the register, the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady responds: "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

The lady answers: "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says: "In that case, stay off your bicycle for a week."

````````````


Heaven And Hell

Jeff and Mike were killed in an accident and as Jeff
arrives at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter.

"Where's my friend Mike?"...Jeff asks the old Saint.

St. Peter replies..."Mike wasn't as fortunate as you,
instead of Heaven, he went in the other direction."

Jeff was deeply concerned by this and asks... "well
could I see Mike just one more time?"

St. Peter agreed to this, so they walked over to the
edge of Heaven and looked down.

Jeff notices Mike with a sexy blonde on one side of
him and a keg of beer on the other.

"I really don't mean to complain"...Jeff says... "but
Mike seems to have it pretty nice down in Hell."

"Look a little closer"...says St. Peter..."for that keg
has a hole in it, the blonde doesn't."

````````````

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If, however, it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff,
eats your food,
uses your telephone,
takes your money, and
never appears to have noticed that
you actually set it free in the first place,
You either married it or gave birth to it!

````````````

Good morning everyboomie. santadance


Hump Day already? duh12


It's the 20th of December, wow! rolleyes12


I guess it's time to start my Christmas shopping. presents12


Just think in 11 days we'll kick start another year. Well I actually did that 15 days ago on a personal level. wink12


I'm still hungover, and all I did was look at a picture of a six pack. eek12


I'm finding out my tolerance levels for living the 'high life' are dropping at an alarming rate. frown12


Even thinking about some of my past celebrations makes me light headed. woozy12


Being 'fall down stupid drunk' never was one of my favorite pastimes anyway. taz


Have a happy day everyone.


joe




Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/19/17 11:55 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135776
12/19/17 09:48 PM
12/19/17 09:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,526
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,526
In the Naughty Corner
lol12 Joe! I have been the designated driver all year this year. I honestly lost my desire to drink entirely. I still have a good time!

I had a couple sick dogs to take care of yesterday and quite a bit of cleaning. I'm hoping today will be a better day with them.

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave12



Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135795
12/20/17 05:54 AM
12/20/17 05:54 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,234
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,234
Marlborough USA
winter Good Morning Joe, Ana and everyone. Joe and Ana it is amazing how getting old can change a lot of things! lol12 Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready. Enjoy your day everyone! winter


Gerry
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135803
12/20/17 08:10 AM
12/20/17 08:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,137
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,137
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Hump Day. Queen of Hearts at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, French Toast, and BB Pancakes in the NC. tree christmas


Connie
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135809
12/20/17 08:23 AM
12/20/17 08:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Morning Boomers tree

Joe, hang in there. You're doing fine.

Ana, hope your day is easier today.

Gerry, thanks for the hot coffee this morning.

Connie, have a great time at the Eagles tonight.

Grocery shopping this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! reindeer santadance


Gail
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135850
12/20/17 12:05 PM
12/20/17 12:05 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe like the quote! Thanks for the chuckles!

Ana hope the dogs are feeling better today! HUGS!

Gerry a hot chocolate sounds good this cold morning. Only+7F with snow on the way!

Connie have fun tonight and thanks for the Danish.

Gail happy grocery shopping!!

May you all have a lovely day!

wave12
Nan

Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135898
12/20/17 07:44 PM
12/20/17 07:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Silly me, I managed to take a semi-serious fall today.

I was carrying an unfolded plastic tarp from my shed to my deck and somehow it dragged on the ground and I stepped on the edge which threw me forward and I ended up falling on my left knee and face (yeah). Luckily, although it was on a CEMENT walk, I was still holding the edge of the tarp and I ended up falling on the knee first, then my head hit my outstretched arm which buffered the face plant. Had I not been holding the tarp edge, I probably would have put my arm out and possibly broken a wrist. Ohhhh.

My glasses also helped to absorb some of the fall (tiny scratch to the frame from the cement) and I also had a few sidewalk burns to the heals of both hands. My glasses skinned the bridge of my nose slightly so now it's just a red 1/4 mark there. The knee isn't swelling, but since it bent all the way backward in the fall, I felt muscles on both sides, above and below, front and back stretching beyond the comfort zone.

I stayed on the ground, not moving for about 5 minutes just waiting for the initial pain to subside, then carefully assessed the damages, rubbed the knee till it was usable, and then managed to get off the ground (not easy even when not injured). I kept thinking that nobody would see me lying in that area if I didn't get up. I probably would drag myself by my teeth and fingernails if I couldn't walk. Yup, not waiting for help when I'm in a covert location.

So now I have a tiny black and blue bruise on the knee cap, sore muscles all around, that tiny skinned nose bridge and all the embarrassment associated with falling when I should have been more careful. I'm telling myself that 2 falls in one year due to stupid actions is more than enough. I'm so thankful that I'm not seriously hurt, no broken anything and that life goes on. joy


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Happy Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1135900
12/20/17 08:15 PM
12/20/17 08:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 38,375
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 38,375
Alabama
Holy moly Sorta...you take care of your self. grin...I have done that myself a number of times...did same thing...check things out...was anybody looking...get up slowly and nonchalantly walk away slapforehead

Hey Ho everyone .. home from work early today to take WOM Christmas shopping .. it was a blast as I don't get to take her out alone much any more. Had fun looking at toys and books .. walking away from certain books was very hard!!!!!

Also needed to get access to a fence door as we're getting a new furnace & A/C system tomorrow and the guys needed a functional fence door vice the "dog proof" door. lol12

Time for some gardening and gaming

Have a wonderful evening y'all

And a restful night's sleep for our insomniacs

wave12

Last edited by soot; 12/20/17 08:15 PM.

Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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