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Tuesday's #1147802
04/09/18 09:28 PM
04/09/18 09:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,775
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,775
Calera, Oklahoma
A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

~Harry S Truman~
````````````````


Marriage is an institution of three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

```````````

“Darling, can I go out in this dress?”

“Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”

``````

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?"

Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."
“What? Why?”

"It’s all over the Bible, dearest."

"The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!"

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."


groan

```````

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it.

He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.

``````````

A little boy looks at his mum at a wedding and says, “Mummy, why is the girl dressed all in white?”
His mum answers, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s very happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”

The boy nods and then says, “OK, and why is the boy all in black?”

`````````

An elderly couple talk in the evening:
“Honey, I’m so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often. How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?”
“I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.”
“And that helps?”
“Yes, because I’m using your toothbrush.”

`````````

Honey, do you think I gained weight?
-
No, I think the living room got smaller.

```````

Honey, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary?
-
A trip to Thailand?
-
Wow, that’s awesome, and for our 50th anniversary?
-
Then I'll come pick you up again.

`````````

I got really angry with my sat nav today. I even yelled at it to go to hell. 20 minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.

````````

A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, “Do you share the same blood group?”

The husband replies, “We must by now. She’s been sucking my blood for years.”

`````````

What's the difference between a bachelor and a married man? Bachelor comes home, checks out what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, checks out what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.

````````

My husband and I had very happy twenty years. Then we met.

```````````

“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”

“But honey, what about our child?”

“What child?!”

“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”

`````````

At a medical check-up:

Do you do dangerous sports?

Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.

``````````

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

``````

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


My Monday turned out to be so awesome. hamster


After most of the morning had burned off, I went to Walmart to stock up on some things, and by then it had warmed up enough that I didn't need a jacket. bravo


I took Missy parking, and then went home to put up groceries, and eat lunch. happydance


Then it was so nice I decided to go to the sod farm today instead of tomorrow, because tomorrow I want to clean my truck up before I have to drive to Dallas Wednesday. yes


I think I walked over twenty acres out there, and was out there over 3 hours.


Missy was having fun, but she finally started to wear out, and wanted me to carry her. slapforehead


She even got tired of chasing rocks when I'd throw them. snicker


I told her that if she could help me look for points, if she found one for me, just one, then we would quit and go back home. razz


She didn't even try to find any. puppy


Anyway I managed to find one arrowhead, and a scraper, and some other pieces.


Yaaa!


Have a happy day everyone.


joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/09/18 09:32 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147806
04/09/18 10:13 PM
04/09/18 10:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,315
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,315
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Good morning everyone laugh

Well done on your finds Joe bravo

Off early again today but should be home at a much earlier time

...I hope lol

I'll take a coffee to go Gerry

Have a Tootin Toosday everyone

wave


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147811
04/09/18 10:43 PM
04/09/18 10:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,814
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,814
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, that is awesome!! Congrats on your finds! You need a backpack for Missy. lol

soot, hope your day is smooth sailing!

last night was a late night again for work, got home at 8:30, but I had an afternoon break so its ok.

Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147816
04/09/18 11:17 PM
04/09/18 11:17 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Congratulations on your find, Joe! woot I understand the situation with Missy. I try to get my cats to go to work for me all the time, and they just give me that same blank stare. lol

Hope you have an earlier day this time, soot!

Glad you're back to your regular schedule, more or less, Ana. thumbsup

It's Monday night, and I'm off to sleep. I have to be up at 5 am tomorrow, as I have a reset. eek There are 3 resets this week, and 3 next week. I'm already looking forward to all of them being complete. lol

Have a terrific Tuesday, everyone. spring


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147831
04/10/18 04:59 AM
04/10/18 04:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,989
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 23,989
Marlborough USA
Good morning Joe, soot, Ana, venus and all. Joe nice find! Soot coffee to go it is. Ana hope the rest of your week is less hectic! venus your kitties are smart! Coffee and tea are ready.
spring Wishing everyone a Happy Tuesday! spring


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147835
04/10/18 07:27 AM
04/10/18 07:27 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,492
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,492
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Ellen is coming for lunch and Netflix. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke tonight at 8-8 Panda. Lots of rain here. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147850
04/10/18 09:57 AM
04/10/18 09:57 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,814
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,814
In the Naughty Corner
Hi ho, hi ho..its off to work I go!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147860
04/10/18 12:32 PM
04/10/18 12:32 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,821
San Diego, CA
Just another day in Paradise. Warm, sunny, dry. All the Outdoorsies are lounging and playing in the freshly cut grass. They really didn't even want breakfast. Either they aren't hungry because of the warm cozy day, or they managed to catch some poor bird or mouse or lizard and are full already.

Mom Cat thinks she's clever by taking a different route to her hidey hole with the new kittens. Usuall it's just out the gate and right to the side yard. Now, She goes all the way around the deck, passes my parked car, sneaks across the walkway and then into the side yard, before going to the Japanese Iris bushes where she gave birth. Hopefully she will be a good mom this time and they will all survive. I have my doubts, but will keep track and grab them when I can for socializing and this time, finding real homes for them. blackkitty


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147869
04/10/18 01:06 PM
04/10/18 01:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
Cool day in AL again. Quiet in the house but son should be home soon wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: looney4labs] #1147873
04/10/18 01:20 PM
04/10/18 01:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner

Hi Boomers wave2

Hope everyone has a nice day! Karen kitty


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147889
04/10/18 06:44 PM
04/10/18 06:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
Hi ya, Doc! How's your day been?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147891
04/10/18 07:06 PM
04/10/18 07:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,315
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,315
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Ho everybody...home at regular time tonight which is a plus thumbsup

Hey there Karen and SortaB...it's always good to see you laugh

Off to garden, listen to music and game a bit with L4L

wave


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147905
04/10/18 09:36 PM
04/10/18 09:36 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,208
Alabama
Off to bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1147908
04/10/18 10:27 PM
04/10/18 10:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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