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Tuesday's #1164705
10/01/18 08:43 PM
10/01/18 08:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

~Unknown~

Too late for that bit of advice. razz
`````````


A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.”

Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.”

Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!”

````

A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains.
-
The instructions say he can also bring one friend.
-
But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!”
-
"Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”

````

At a psychiatric ward: “Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he’s a wolf.”
-
Doctor: “Whatever you do, don’t let his grandmother visit!”

````

Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?
-
Oh Harry, that would be lovely!
-
Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?

````

Mobile - Update
Tablet – Update
Laptop - Update
TV – Update
Gaming console – Update

Somehow I’m afraid to plug in the iron.

````

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“

````

Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.

I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.

He said, “Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I’m Chinese?!”

“No it’s because you’re drinking MY beer!“

````

If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles. This way, my friends will find me faster.

````

I was going to start a Procrastinators Club. But then I realized I’d have to reject anyone who actually turned up at the meeting so I decided to put it off again.

````

I heard the Secret Service had to change their commands.

They can't say "Get down!" anymore when the President is under attack.

Now it's "Donald! Duck!"

````

I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold.

````

Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep!

````

“I want to be an astronaut!”
-
“I thought they didn’t send monkeys to space anymore?”
-
“Exactly, so no chance of a visit from you then!”

````

I did a self-defense course. I wouldn’t recommend anyone to attack me in slow motion now.

````

They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

````

Good morning everyboomie. yay


If Tuesday comes after Monday, I'm on the right thread. razz


It does right? headscratch


Monday was a day and a half for me. I got the oil changed in my shorts my truck!! snicker


I washed my truck, and I mowed my lawn.....among other things. yes


This morning I have to be in Texas for labs at the VA. shocked


That'll be fun. No breakfast until after 9:30. cry


It'll be ok really. I skip breakfast half the time nowadays. thumbsup


I'm watching my figure you know. wink


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164710
10/01/18 10:00 PM
10/01/18 10:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, good luck on the tests tomorrow! YOu had a productive day!

Have a happy day all! I have a full day today.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164719
10/01/18 11:06 PM
10/01/18 11:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your tests go well tomorrow, Joe!

Hope your full day goes well, Ana!

It's Monday night here. I have another 5 am wake up and another reset tomorrow. The craziness continues. lol

Have a great Tuesday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164722
10/01/18 11:24 PM
10/01/18 11:24 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
Thorsgoats Offline
Settled Boomer
Thorsgoats  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 125
Thrudvanger
I was off for my birthday, and I'm off again on Tuesday. I have to be home for the new internet provider. It's supposed to have faster streaming than the current internet provider. Maybe I'll also play a Lost Crown game. ghost


"Is there anybody there? Am I alone . . . in this place? Can you see me? Can you hear me? SHOW me you are here!"
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164731
10/02/18 04:52 AM
10/02/18 04:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,340
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,340
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, Thorsgoats and everyone. Joe good luck today. Ana hope it's a stress free day for you. Venus maybe your crazy day will fly by! Thorsgoats definitely play a lost Crown! Coffee, tea and hot chocolate are ready.
wave Wishing a Happy Day for everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164745
10/02/18 07:15 AM
10/02/18 07:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,975
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,975
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Super Tuesday. Dinner, Dancing, and Karaoke at 8-8 Panda tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and French Toast in the NC. witch blackkitty


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164796
10/02/18 10:48 PM
10/02/18 10:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1164797
10/02/18 10:49 PM
10/02/18 10:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
Nighty night...


Don't feed the Trolls
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