I think one reason babies cry on planes is because flying sucks, and babies aren’t liars like you and me.
~Rob Delaney~
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There once was a man from Peru.
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night.
With a terrible fright.
To find out his dream had come true!
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Our school trip was a special occasion.
But we never reacher our destination.
Instead of the zoo.
I was locked in the loo.
of the toilet at the service station!
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An elderly man called Keith.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair.
He'd forgot they were there.
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
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When I'm old and mankey.
I'll never use a hanky.
I'll wee on plants.
and soil my pants!
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All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight!
~~~
That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face,
And someone else is in my place!
~~~~
I am a dog.
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up.
And give you a shower!
~~~~
I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny.
But it keeps them on the knife!
~~~~
She fell into the bath tub.
she fell into the sink.
she fell into the rasberry jam.
and came out pink!
~~~~
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty.
What happened to you?
~~~~
There was a young lady of Kent.
Whose nose was most awfully bent.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.
~~~~
If I were a furry bear.
And had a furry tummy.
I'd climb into a honey jar
And make my tummy yummy!
~~~~
There once was a child in Spain.
Who loved to play in the rain.
One day he slipped.
And broke his hip.
Now he's in serious pain.
~~~~
Last night at dinner we had some fish,
and though I tried, I did not finish.
My mother told me while I chewed,
brains loved fish over all other food.
~~~~
She avoided my eye contact,
and ticked my work in green.
But she knew that her body smells,
were foul and quite obscene.
~~~~
My dog is quite hip.
Except when he takes a dip.
He looks like a fool,
when he jumps in the pool,
and reminds me of a sinking ship.
~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
I hope everyone is doing well this fine Tuesday morning.
Only 2 shopping days left till Independence Day.
What's Uncle Sam bringing everyone?
I'm asking for a new Harley Davidson.
I wanna make a cross-country trip on it, with my biker babe Missy.
Have a super day everyone.
joe