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Joe's Sept. 20th #1228555
09/20/20 03:23 PM
09/20/20 03:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,033
Calera, Oklahoma
I don’t want to say we eat out 
a lot, but I’ve noticed that lately when I call my kids for dinner, they run to the car. —

~Julie Kidd~
~~~~~~~~~~


Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

Harry Hill
~~

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

Jay Leno
~~

A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”

I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
~~

During a summer ranch tour we were hosting for an elder hostel, our van passed a pasture with a windmill and a herd of cattle around a stock tank.

A lady on the tour said, “Oh, look! This rancher put up a big fan to cool the cows!”
~~

When my daughter, Brooxie, was 5 years old, she’d stay with my husband’s parents while we were at work. One day Brooxie was helping Papaw gather eggs.

While putting the eggs into the basket she was carrying, she asked, “Papaw, where do these eggs come from?”

Papaw then explained in detail the delicate process of making an egg.

Brooxie put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, “Papaw, I don’t eat anything that comes out of a chicken!”

And for many years, she didn’t.
~~

Several years ago we headed to a nearby town to visit some relatives. I had a new car and was having fun driving fast on the twisty country roads. As we zoomed along, I noticed a three-legged chicken keeping pace with me. I slowed to get a better look at the speedster when it turned and went down a dirt road. I stopped, turned around and followed it. After a short ride, we came upon a house with an older couple sitting on the porch and dozens of three-legged chickens in the yard.

I asked them, “Are these your chickens? They’re the fastest I’ve ever seen.”

The old man said, “Yep.”

So I asked him where they came from, and he replied, “When the kids were younger, they always fought over the chicken legs, so we decided to breed a three-legged chicken.”

I nodded and said, “Well, they are fast, but what do they taste like?”

He admitted, “Not rightly sure; we never could catch one.”
~~

Pollen and allergies got the best of Liam, my 9-year-old son, so he stayed home from school with his grandma.

When I got home from work, he said he had brushed our dog, Abby.

Knowing that I kept the dog’s brush up out of reach so she couldn’t chew on it, I asked, “How did you know where I keep Abby’s brush?”

He gave me a puzzled look and said matter-of-factly, “I didn’t. I used your brush.”
~~

An extensive government study has revealed that the leading cause of cancer in laboratory rats is scientists.
~~

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So, what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now, I spend my days reading at a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted, he turns to the owner and asks, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of a dog like that?”

The owner says, “He’s a liar! He never did any of that.”
~~

A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist,” suggests the collie.

“I would,” says the poodle. “Bit I’m not allowed on the couch.”
~~

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins. “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is wrapped in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
~~

Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub. The first guy says, “Let’s go in there for a pint.” Second guy, says, “They won’t let us in with our dogs.” First guy: “Sure they will, just follow my lead.”

He goes up to the pub, and sure enough the doorman says, “I can’t let you in here with that dog.” He replies, “Oh, I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.” The doorman says, “Ok then, come on in.”

The second guy sees this and does the same thing. He goes up to the pub, and the doorman says, “You can’t come in here with a dog.” He replies, “I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.” The doorman responds, “You have a chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?” The second guy stops for a second, and exclaims, “WHAT??? They gave me a chihuahua?”
~~

A man boards a plane and is seated next to an Air Marshall and his ‘sniffing dog’. Soon, the plane takes off and the Marshall says, “Sniffer, search.” The dog walks along the aisle, and stops next to a woman. He then returns to his seat and puts a paw on the Marshall’s arm.

“Good boy,” says the Marshall.

“What happened?” asks the man.

“That woman is in possession of marijuana. We’ll arrest her when we land.”

Once again, Sniffer searches the aisles. He stops beside a man, then returns to his seat, and places two paws on the Marshall’s arm.

“That man is carrying cocaine,” the Marshall explains.

The dog walks up the aisle again, then races back, jumps into his seat, and poops all over it.

“What’s going on?!” demands the man.

The Marshall nervously replies, “He just found a bomb!”
~~

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.” “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer. “ Yeah I know,” says the sheepdog. “I rounded them up.”
~~

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won't come when I call him. —Reid Faylor
~~

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
~~

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”
~~

Wandering inside a pet store, 
I stopped in front of a birdcage to 
admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?”
~~

What should you do when 
you see an endangered animal 
eating an endangered plant? George Carlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hello everybody and welcome to another week! welcome


I hope you're all having a great weekend. yes


It's really nice here and I've been watching football this afternoon. The Cowboys won a thriller come from behind game, after a successful on-side kick, and field goal in the last minute and a half, They had been behind the whole game by as much as 20 points and I was ready to switch channels thinking there's no way they can win the game. joy


Now watching the Texans play. Both my teams lost last week and really need the win this week. The Texans really have their work cut out for them against the Ravens. razz


This month has gone by pretty fast. I hate to wish my life away, but I just really want November 5th to be here. wink


I'm sure that after that point we'll know, withing the next 3 months, who will be President. snicker


Have a super week everyone. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228559
09/20/20 05:20 PM
09/20/20 05:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
rotfl wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228561
09/20/20 06:47 PM
09/20/20 06:47 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
watching court shows, even perry mason., and same thing i do sunday thur saturday, wash dishes, put some in dishwasher, clean cat pan, take meds.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228567
09/20/20 09:01 PM
09/20/20 09:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,589
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,589
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, glad you had Beau again. Time is flying for sure!

My boarder went home tonight, we had a fun filled weekend.

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228588
09/21/20 07:37 AM
09/21/20 07:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
Cool weather has found AL. It was under 60 when I got up this morning. Having to wait til it warms up a bit to go for my run. Cully has decided that means I have time to braid his hair before I go rotfl

Have a great day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228590
09/21/20 08:31 AM
09/21/20 08:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
Good morning everyone ... woot It's Monday and I'm ready for a new work week happydance

Joe, have a great week!

Family ... good luck with chores and enjoy your shows

Ana, hope you have a great day laugh
L4L hearts

Have a sensational day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228638
09/21/20 05:50 PM
09/21/20 05:50 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
watching court shows, even perry mason., and same thing i do sunday thur saturday, wash dishes, put some in dishwasher, clean cat pan, take meds.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228642
09/22/20 02:38 AM
09/22/20 02:38 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,278
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,278
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, L4L, Ana, soot, family, Connie and everyone. Today is the first day of fall. Hope it is a great start for everyone! Coffee and tea are ready.

waveTake Care and have a nice day! wave


Gerry
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228658
09/22/20 05:48 AM
09/22/20 05:48 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Adept Boomer
connie  Online Content
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy your day. Could someone please send us some of your cooler weather. Dr. appointment went well, good for another 6 months. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228664
09/22/20 07:23 AM
09/22/20 07:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
woot Connie ... great news update from the Doc ... I'll try to send cooler weather your way yes I'll have a Danish to go as I'm off to work

Good morning Gerry ... yes indeed today is the September Equinox ... I'll have a Scottish Breakfast tea to go please thanks

Hey Ho Family ... enjoy your shows ... and Perry Mason!!!

I'm hitting the virtual road to work and will catch you all later

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228677
09/22/20 10:04 AM
09/22/20 10:04 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,627
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Back from a very cool run! Have to find my "cold weather clothes" such as they are rotfl

Very noisy here this morning! Oh well.

Connie, glad you got a good report.

Have a blessed day ya'll wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228706
09/22/20 01:38 PM
09/22/20 01:38 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,326
Indiana
ScarletDragon Offline
Addicted Boomer
ScarletDragon  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,326
Indiana
Howdy Ho:

It's been ages since I came to the diner. I think it's the only establishment we can enter at the present time without a mask and social distancing. I just got back from a 2 week vacation and thought I might starve to death. Amazing how many food establishments are closed. I had the Covid virus several months ago. I was pretty miserable for about 4 days but never required any special treatment so I just stayed home in bed. I've found that since then my lung capacity is reduced and I often wake up breathless in the middle of the night. Guess I have some residual lung damage. I'm having some tests done in a week or so to check it out. Probably not much to be done about it but it would be good to know anyway.

I need a recommendation if anybody has a suggestion about cell phones. I have an android phone which suits me so I don't want a new phone, but I would like to cancel my Verizon service and go with somebody cheaper. I've seen ads from some outfit (invisible, I think) which is $35 a month but somehow I got the impression it might be like a Verizon version of prepaid phones. Anyway, I would welcome any suggestions about a good phone service that doesn't require a long term contract. I like unlimited talk, text and data although I don't really use all that much. I just don't like to have to keep track of it.


Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons ...
for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup.
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228716
09/22/20 02:53 PM
09/22/20 02:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer
butterflybabe  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
Scarlet, I have a Verizon prepaid phone. According to Google, there is no contract with a prepaid plan. I certainly don't remember signing the one I bought 2 years ago. Hope this helps.

Saw derm doc yesterday and happy to share that my worries were quickly relieved inside of 5 minutes. This was a new doc. One look, assured me it was from stress, prescribed a topical and that was it. Spent way more time filling out paperwork and updating all my med info than i did seeing the doc. Now, if my hips would stop talking to me, that would be extra nice crazy


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228726
09/22/20 06:16 PM
09/22/20 06:16 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: butterflybabe] #1228730
09/22/20 06:57 PM
09/22/20 06:57 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 40,555
southeast USA
Jenny100 Offline
GB Reviewer Glitches Moderator
Jenny100  Offline
GB Reviewer Glitches Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 40,555
southeast USA
Originally Posted by butterflybabe
Saw derm doc yesterday and happy to share that my worries were quickly relieved inside of 5 minutes. This was a new doc. One look, assured me it was from stress, prescribed a topical and that was it. Spent way more time filling out paperwork and updating all my med info than i did seeing the doc. Now, if my hips would stop talking to me, that would be extra nice crazy

It's always "stress" when they have no idea what it is or how to fix it. Sometimes they prescribe books that suggest things like quitting your stressful job and doing recreational things instead. As if you were independently wealthy and didn't need the job. Not really helpful.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228772
09/23/20 07:01 AM
09/23/20 07:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Adept Boomer
connie  Online Content
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.


Connie
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228795
09/23/20 09:17 AM
09/23/20 09:17 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
Good morning everyone ... running late, grin, what's new lol

Happy Camel Day!!!

I'll bop back by when I can come up for air ... Connie, I'll have a Danish to go please thanks

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228804
09/23/20 10:50 AM
09/23/20 10:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer
butterflybabe  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,576
Mt Prospect, Illinois
Jenny, I agree with you to a point. Personally I think stress is main reason for most illnesses. But, as you suggest, reality usually doesn't allow for finding the ideal relief. I try to take a much time as possible to attend to playing and other things that make me happy. Doesn't solve anything but keeps me relatively sane.

For a while work was a huge stress. I'm grateful that part of my life is over. No matter what's going on, knowing I don't have to rush for anything anymore, and that's a huge relief.

Only stressor right now for me is the pollen count. I've been sneezing several times a day. Several of my friends are having a worse time of it.


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228851
09/23/20 06:30 PM
09/23/20 06:30 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228871
09/24/20 05:04 AM
09/24/20 05:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Adept Boomer
connie  Online Content
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Lovely day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228881
09/24/20 07:37 AM
09/24/20 07:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
Good morning Connie and everyone that pops in laugh

Connie ... wishing you a lovely day too! I'll get a Danish to go from the NC

Family ... take care today

L4L hearts

Have a delightful day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228921
09/24/20 06:44 PM
09/24/20 06:44 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,939
marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228941
09/25/20 06:07 AM
09/25/20 06:07 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Adept Boomer
connie  Online Content
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,896
winter springs fl.
Good morning, have a Great day. Making Pasta salad for the bar-b-q at the Eagles tomorrow. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228942
09/25/20 06:11 AM
09/25/20 06:11 AM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,254
Scotland
MsMercury Offline
Adept Boomer
MsMercury  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,254
Scotland
Hello dear Boomers, hope you are all well and keeping safe. Just stopping by to say 'Hi'. No change with hubby.

Much love to you all!

Mary hearts


"It's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts." puppy

I'm not getting old....just 'Marvelously Mature'! grin
Re: Joe's Sept. 20th [Re: gymcandy1] #1228946
09/25/20 06:40 AM
09/25/20 06:40 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,540
Alabama
Hello everyone ... I'm off to the office this morning

Mary, it's good to see you ... keeping you and hubby in our prayers ... take care

Connie, oh yum, pasta salad, one of my favorites ... I'll grab a Danish to go this morning

Hey Ho Family ... enjoy your shows

L4L hearts

Have a very pleasant day Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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