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Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 #1236681
12/22/20 09:09 AM
12/22/20 09:09 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
“Alas! How dreary would be the world if there was no Santa Claus! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.” — Francis P. Church

“You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I’m telling you why—Santa Claus is coming to town.” — Haven Gillespie

“Whenever anyone was unselfish, that was Santa Claus. Christmas Eve was the time when everybody was unselfish. On that one night, Santa Claus was everywhere, because everybody, all together, stopped being selfish and wanted other people to be happy. And in the morning you saw what that had done.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph.

2. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

Stick with me and we’ll go places!

3. How is Christmas exactly like your job?

You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

4.Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

Because they were two deer!

5. What do you call a scary looking reindeer?

A cari-boo.

6. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?

The One Show!

7. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?

This one’s gonna sleigh you!

8. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

9. Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital?

Because he has private elf care!

10. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es

11. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered!

12. How do you know when Santa’s around?

You can always sense his presents.

13. How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

14. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?

Elfis.

15. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?

Cross-mouse cards!

16. Where does Santa keep all his money?

At the local snow bank.

17. What do you call a broke Santa?

Saint Nickel-less

18. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

19. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?

Nice gnawing you!

20. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas?

Because they’re shell-fish.

21. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?

Twerky!

22. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?

Silent Night.

23. What does Santa do with out of shape elves?

Sends them to an elf Farm.

24. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

25. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

26. How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle!

27. What do you call Santa when he takes a break?

Santa Pause.

28. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

He gives them the sack!

29. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsil-itis!

30. What did Santa say to the smoker?

Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everybody. christmas


Well it's official. My brain is no longer in sync with the calendar. I actually thought yesterday was Sunday. shocked


I should have known something was amiss when there were no football games on. razz


I needed a long weekend break from my hectic do-nothing routine anyway. haha


I have been exercising/working/walking very heavily this week though. santadance


That's because I've been eating mass quantities and gaining.............mass. blush


Wishing everyone very happy and safe holidays, with families and loved ones. holidays


I'm guessing your families and loved ones are most likely all the same. razz


Ana that 's great news about Nugget. I hope you get a few days rest this week to enjoy your family. hearts


joe christmas


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236687
12/22/20 10:55 AM
12/22/20 10:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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looney4labs  Offline
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
Good Morning and christmas everyone puppy

Son is in the kitchen teaching g'son to cook. They are making beet salad with blue cheese right now and will make soup later. It's fun to listen too, but the deal was, I'd do the dishes. They are using every dish in the kitchen rotfl

It's supposed to be in the 60 later so will get my walk in then, though it will be short as I'm nursing a boo boo. And I have a project for hubby this afternoon, so need to be on hand for that.

Have a great one ya'll puppy

Edit: Ana, so very glad the biopsies were negative happydance12

Last edited by looney4labs; 12/22/20 10:57 AM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236691
12/22/20 11:30 AM
12/22/20 11:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,829
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
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Mt Prospect, Illinois
Joe, I can relate to brain vs calendar confusion. It caused me to start marking appts on my calendar, which I used to always pretty much rely on memory. woozy
There was a day when I got up, got dressed for work and headed out with my dog to drop him off at the play day center. The center was closed which was weird; thought I missed a note saying they were closed for some reason. So I drove back home, dropped dog off and headed to work. Parking lot was empty. THEN I looked at my phone and realized it was Sunday, not Monday. rolleyes
I have a close friend with whom I have do a regular check in call every week. Once when I asked how things were going, she replied that she wasn't even sure what day it was. I told her she was talking to me so it must be Thursday. haha

So, if your brain feels off whack, just join the crowd lol12


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: butterflybabe] #1236693
12/22/20 11:55 AM
12/22/20 11:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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looney4labs  Offline
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
Originally Posted by butterflybabe
Joe, I can relate to brain vs calendar confusion. It caused me to start marking appts on my calendar, which I used to always pretty much rely on memory. woozy
There was a day when I got up, got dressed for work and headed out with my dog to drop him off at the play day center. The center was closed which was weird; thought I missed a note saying they were closed for some reason. So I drove back home, dropped dog off and headed to work. Parking lot was empty. THEN I looked at my phone and realized it was Sunday, not Monday. rolleyes
I have a close friend with whom I have do a regular check in call every week. Once when I asked how things were going, she replied that she wasn't even sure what day it was. I told her she was talking to me so it must be Thursday. haha

So, if your brain feels off whack, just join the crowd lol12


rotfl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236712
12/22/20 06:57 PM
12/22/20 06:57 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,358
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,358
marietta,georgia
same thing.

Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236748
12/23/20 05:44 AM
12/23/20 05:44 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy Hump Day. Dinner and Karaoke tonight. birthday L4L, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. We will have a cold Christmas, the coldest in 20 years. happydance12 Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. tree


Connie
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236764
12/23/20 09:19 AM
12/23/20 09:19 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everyone. holidays

It is Wednesday is it not Butterflybabe? That's a very funny story btw. lol

I'm pretty sure it is. snicker

Well we had 70 degrees here on Monday. This morning when I got up at 7:30 it was 60 degrees. That's pretty darned mild weather for Christmas, I must say, even for us. shocked

We're actually only going to be a high of 63 degrees today despite being at 60 at sun up.

The wind is what is putting a damper on an otherwise glorious day. So I'll wear a jacket when I take Missy parking. wink

No other plans for me, except to exercise. Gotta keep moving. thumbsup

A very Happy Birthday to you L4L. I hope you have a blessed day. birthday

Mary it's always nice seeing you in the diner. We want to hear the news on your hubby's condition and how his treatment is going. Our hearts and prayers always here for you. hearts

Have a super day everyone. santa


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/23/20 09:21 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236774
12/23/20 11:37 AM
12/23/20 11:37 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,829
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
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butterflybabe  Offline
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Posts: 2,829
Mt Prospect, Illinois
Yes, Joe, I assure you it is Wednesday today. Glad you enjoyed the story. wave
Sometimes I don't realize how fast the days go until I get a reminder call from a doc's office to confirm the appt. I made weeks earlier. crazy
Oh, well, if that's the only problem in my life, I'm doing good! thumbsup12


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236802
12/23/20 03:45 PM
12/23/20 03:45 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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looney4labs  Offline
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
Just back from the park on a beautiful December day! happydance12

Connie, I'm heading to the corner to replenish. Cupcakes, here I come.

Thanks, Joe, it has been lovely.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236821
12/23/20 06:45 PM
12/23/20 06:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,358
marietta,georgia
family Offline
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family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,358
marietta,georgia
same thing//

Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236832
12/23/20 08:02 PM
12/23/20 08:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
soot Offline
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soot  Offline
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
Good evening everyone laugh

Joe, my brain dropped the sync with the calendar some time back ... I think it's because we've transitioned to "electronic" calendars and message/emails ... I memory doesn't work so good with them as it used to work with paper calendars ... I carry a paper calendar with me all the time

Mary ... it's always a treat to see you in the Diner and catch up with life ... keeping you, hubby and family in my thoughts and prayers

ButterFlyBabe ... I have a similar go to work story ... I just returned from an overseas trip on Saturday so relaxed and tried to catch up with time zones and then on Monday went to work only to find the building locked ... so milled around out front for 10 to 15 minutes thinking through tasks and projects and then decided to work on my 'paper' calendar next only to discover the day was a federal holiday rotfl

Connie, we'll have a cold Christmas too ... have fun at Karaoke tonight! I'm headed to the NC for cupcakes

Family, enjoy your shows
L4L hearts

Have a quiet evening everyone
wave2
lab


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236836
12/23/20 10:28 PM
12/23/20 10:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,962
In the Naughty Corner
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 81,962
In the Naughty Corner
Merry Christmas Eve's Eve christmas I'm exhausted and I'm planning on being a complete and utter slug on Christmas Day. We are busy preparing for the kids and their significant others come tomorrow afternoon for Christmas Round 2. Two parties in 5 days while working is a handful. I also have a boarder coming in the morning, she's a sheepdoodle.
I'm almost done wrapping and then it'll be bed time. Short work day tomorrow since everyone is coming at 2.

It'll be a high of 15 tomorrow with windchills at 0 but no white Christmas. Brrrr!

Have a blessed day all!
Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236849
12/24/20 06:30 AM
12/24/20 06:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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connie  Offline
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Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
Good morning, enjoy your Christmas Eve. Round one of our Christmas gatherings today, repeat tomorrow. A freeze is predicted for tonight. It will actually feel like Christmas, last year it was 80. We will have the fireplace in the house and the fire pit on the porch going. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. christmas


Connie
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236859
12/24/20 09:10 AM
12/24/20 09:10 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
soot Offline
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soot  Offline
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Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
lab

Good morning everyone ... we'll be having a quiet Christmas eve today ... last minute prep for the morrow... music, gardening and walking little Soot frequently

christmas

Wishing everyone a great day!

wave


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236872
12/24/20 12:18 PM
12/24/20 12:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,829
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
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Mt Prospect, Illinois
Soot bravo12

Well, it's a sunny, 17 degs on Christmas Eve in Chicagoland. Hope those of you spending time with family and friends have lots of fun and laughter santa

Tomorrow I'll probably spend most of the day playing games and/or watching Netflix. Actually have some laundry to do so, we'll see rolleyes12 lol12


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236882
12/24/20 03:03 PM
12/24/20 03:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Temps have been dropping all day. Supposed to be in the 20's tonight. I biked in the bedroom today...too much rain and cold for me outside.

G'kids are at moms, so we plan on a quiet Christmas. I'm heading up in a second to make our Christmas Casserole for breakfast in the morning. Then I have a few presents to wrap and I'm done. We are hoping to watch the new Wonder Woman tomorrow night.

Wishing you a very christmas


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236884
12/24/20 04:46 PM
12/24/20 04:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
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Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Merry Christmas Eve everyboomie! christmas

Had a very busy day so far here. I did cleaning all morning waiting for it to warm up. Missy hates the cold. wink

We were caught off guard after waking up to 60 degrees yesterday, it was 30 degrees when I got up this morning. When we went parking at 12:00 it was mid 40s, but pretty windy and boy did it bite! shiver

After that I actually drove up to Walmart for some last minute shopping, and so did everybody else in town. rolleyes

It was a mad house. slapforehead

After that I went bye to visit my friends Charlsye and Beau. yes

Than came home and cooked a pizza. santadance

I'm starting to look like that Santa....without the beard. wink12

Have a great holiday everyone. wave12


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236885
12/24/20 04:56 PM
12/24/20 04:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,222
Canal Fulton, OH
Sparkle Offline
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Although I’m not a regular denizen of the diner, I wanted to drop in and wish all my Gameboomer friends who celebrate, a very MerryChristmas. 🎄 Peace be with you.

Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236889
12/24/20 05:46 PM
12/24/20 05:46 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 18,351
Snuggled up in my PC corner fo...
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Snuggled up in my PC corner fo...
Same here, Sparkle! I read Joe's missives at the beginning of the week, but am not a regular denizen of the diner. But I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!


Gardens put to bed for the winter. Time to take a break!
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236890
12/24/20 05:46 PM
12/24/20 05:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,895
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
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Sonic Boomer

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Alabama
Merry Christmas, Sparkle. Stop in anytime wave12


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236895
12/24/20 07:32 PM
12/24/20 07:32 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 7,358
marietta,georgia
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marietta,georgia
same thing and chores.

Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236925
12/25/20 05:55 AM
12/25/20 05:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,055
Isle of Man
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Isle of Man
This looks like the right place to come and wish all of you not frequenters of the Garden happiness and/or over-indulgence whatever and however you may be celebrating!
Hopefully even those separated by covid restrictions can at least speak to or even video call with loved ones. holidays tree


Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236930
12/25/20 06:58 AM
12/25/20 06:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,358
The Country
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The Country
Merry Christmas everyone!


Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody
Gibran
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236933
12/25/20 07:03 AM
12/25/20 07:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
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connie  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 15,208
winter springs fl.
Good morning christmas, may it be merry and bright. Day 2 of our family and friends get together. Yesterday was wonderful and I'm sure today will be too. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Biscuits and Gravy, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, Toast, and Christmas Cookies for later in the NC. santadance tree


Connie
Re: Joe's Christmas Diner Dec, 22nd 2020 [Re: gymcandy1] #1236941
12/25/20 08:28 AM
12/25/20 08:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
soot Offline
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soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 35,556
Montgomery, Alabama
christmas


Dan
...
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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