-1. A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his w---------?
-2. A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice h----!
-3. A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get s------.
-4. Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different a-----.
-5. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks r---- out of the b-----.
-6. A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another --- ------.
-7. When God sneezed, I didn't know what -- ---.
-8. Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it l--- w---!”
9. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the w----
h----.
-10. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave it up, they have no h------s