DOUG LARSON
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
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Best Country SongsLooking to expand your Country music collection, may we suggest some of these all time favorites?
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
(Pardon Me) I've Got Someone To Kill
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
You're A Cross I Can't Bear
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "Me"
Do You Love As Good As You Look
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon tonight.
When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
My Shoes Keep Walkin' Back to You
You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
And There Was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On
How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?
He's Been Drunk Since His Wife's Gone Punk!
Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You that I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?
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Best Headliners
Here are the best headlines of the year (yes, they are real)...1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
23. War Dims Hope For Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
25. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
Today I'm going to start working on my will.
I recently got some news from my doctor.
I went to the VA hospital in Dallas, and I had an echo cardiogram, and nuclear stress test.
It was two days later, but the news was all good. They told me I'm still alive, and I'm going to stay that way as long as I look both ways before crossing the street.
I was worried for a minute though, when we were leaving the hospital, I noticed on my phone that I had just received a call from the hospital as I was walking to my truck.
I mean, we had just finished the test. Why were they calling so soon??
"Mr Lilley we're calling to tell you that you're dead. We need you in the morgue immediately".
My sister and I went back in, but no one could tell me why I received the call. I figure it was probably because I got there early, and the tech took me back to the exam area early. Someone was looking for me at the scheduled appointment time.
Anyway I've determined to work on my will to start walking on my treadmill again today.
Wish me luck.
Right now all of my will is reserved for eating and sleeping. Especially eating...............and sleeping.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe