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#874694 - 03/18/13 07:42 PM Tuesday's
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 32190
Loc: Calera, Oklahoma
All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!
Bob Newhart (1929 - )

Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. Talking about my "doing something useful" seemed to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business. I told her that I had joined a parachute club.

She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 74 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.

She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week," I told her.

She fainted!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.


Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's another early early start for me. I'll be about 2 hours into it at the crack of dawn. tired

You know what that means. It hasn't cracked dusk yet, but I need to be in bed already. sleep

This old body needs more & more rest in between the work hours. rolleyes

I guess I need to change my diaper first though, and warm up my bottle. pacify

Just hope I sleep better than a baby. wink

I hope you all slept well too. yes

Have a happy day everyone. dance


Edit: My thanks to Nan for the jokes today.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats

#874703 - 03/18/13 09:04 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 15611
Loc: Massachusetts
Hi Joe. You had me laughing out loud again. Thanks. I hope you get enough sleep before you have to get up and go to work at o'dark thirty. I don't have to be at work until 2:00 in the afternoon. We're getting another snow storm overnight. I really hope we don't get any more than a couple of inches. We'll see. I hope you all have a great Tuesday. See you on the flip side.

Midgie hearts
Just do it.

#874725 - 03/18/13 10:21 PM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75347
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I hope your day breezes by! hearts

Midgie, enjoy your morning off. We keep getting snow but it doesn't seem to accumulate much. But I am getting weary of the temps. It's going down to 13 degrees. Nan keeps blowing her cold air here. lol

Have a happy day everyone!
Don't feed the Trolls

#874765 - 03/19/13 03:40 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 10027
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Midgie,Ana and all who come in later wave
Sory for the bad weather,here the spring is here,sunny and hot with the nature green and
blossom happydance
Have all a happy day dance
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

#874769 - 03/19/13 04:10 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6145
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Midge,Haroula and all who arrive later waveSnow on the ground and it's like little hail stones coming down right now crazySure hope spring arrives soon springCoffee is ready have a great day everyone chocobunny
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.


#874776 - 03/19/13 05:03 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 22783
Loc: Marlborough USA
bunny chocobunny Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe happy dreams. Midgie we got 2 inches of snow during the night. Ana hope it warms up for you today. Haroula a warm sunny day sounds good to me1 Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Happy Day wished for all! chocobunny bunny

#874784 - 03/19/13 06:03 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
Staff Reviewer
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 7720
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hello and goodbye. wave Have a great Tuesday, everyone. spring
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?

#874788 - 03/19/13 06:27 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 18262
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you slept well.

Ana, I really think Spring is not going to arrive this year.

Midgie, hope your area isn't bad with this storm.

Haroula, I envy your weather.

Cailyn, think Spring.

Gerry, have a great day.

Venus, hello, see you later.

Weather is a mess out there. Wet, icy snow and cold. School is canceled and I'll be home this morning as the roads are horrible. Where is Spring? confused

#874790 - 03/19/13 06:53 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 10252
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. A trip to the grocery store is in the cards for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Ham and Eggs, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. chocobunny

#874810 - 03/19/13 09:15 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 15321
Loc: Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning Boomers. wave
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

#874815 - 03/19/13 10:02 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: Space Quest Fan]
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 10370
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Nan! Thanks for the openers! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!

#874831 - 03/19/13 11:07 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 14623
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope you slept well and was all bright eyed and bushy tailed on the way to work this morning. May work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana what can I say. lol I am SO ready for Spring and all this snow to melt away but that will be awhile cause there is just so much on the ground. I want to go walking and not be all bundled up!

May you have a lovely day and a fun walk with the dogs!! BTW I might be in Chicagoland in June, if things go as planned.

That's it Haroula I'm moving there. lol Have a lovely day and enjoy the nice weather.

Cailyn, Gerry, and Midge be safe in the storm. Hope it ends soon and the snow goes away quickly!! Have a nice day!

Gail are the girls happy with no school?? Have a lovely day!! HUGS!

Connie have fun shopping! Thanks for the danish!

venus may work go well and the time fly! Hope you are feeling better.

Darlene may work go smoothly and the time fly!

Space have a lovely day!

No plans here yet.


#874845 - 03/19/13 11:36 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: auntiegram]
Gimli Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 06/15/05
Posts: 2315
Loc: Switzerland
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

#874846 - 03/19/13 11:38 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 47568
Loc: Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We are having shorts weather though the storms yesterday cooled us down some. Hubby is a bit better (we shall see how he does with real food today)and I'm trying to stay away so he doesn't get my gunk.

I'm in the "no voice" stage, so it will be quiet here today rotfl

I'm going to start the tax process. Step 1: Install software Step 2: Sort paperwork

I might get to Step 3: Do son's taxes but I won't start ours til tomorrow. wave

Edited by looney4labs (03/19/13 11:38 AM)
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

#874853 - 03/19/13 11:57 AM Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 75347
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Hi Ho Hi's off for a deep tissue massage I go. What better to do on a cold day off work? woot

Catch you all in a bit!
Don't feed the Trolls

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