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#889158 - 05/21/13 09:04 PM Hump Day
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30067
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Animal Thoughts

After watching that imbecile on television who claims to know what common household pets are thinking, it was decided that we too, would do the impossible...

Dog "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."

Goldfish "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes over and over............... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

Dog "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!"

Goldfish "The knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!"

Parrot "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HELL NO!"

Cat "Why are these people in my house?"

Dog "I don't care if you take the jewelry or money, but don't mess with the fridge."

Goldfish "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"

Cat "I wish he would stop kicking me down the stairs."

Dog "The 'pretending to throw a stick' game is getting old, but I seem unable to stop myself from looking for it."

Cat "Why did they put this service bell on my neck if they're not going to answer to it."

Dog "Why is the baby eating my food..."

Hamster "Kill me, this wheel is boring."

Iguana "Oh great, another day of being in this small little cage with my food bowl, my water and these annoying wood chips.

Dog "Man, my dog food looks exactly like my poo! Well if I'm ever hungry I'll know there's plenty for me in the backyard..."

Gerbil "OH NO, not again!"

Dog "I bet if he could do that, he wouldn't be telling me to stop."

Cat "Oh no, he's picking me up to do another 'land on all fours off the balcony' test again."

Bunny "I wonder if she will notice bunny pellets in her pillow case?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why Aren't You Married?
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?"


You haven't asked yet.

I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

Because I just love hearing this question.

Just lucky, I guess.

It gives my mother something to live for.

My fianc�e is awaiting his/her parole.

I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

It didn't seem worth a blood test.

I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

Why aren't you thin?

I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Athelete Quotes
Here are some quotes from famous atheletes that most likely explain why they can't seem to get regular jobs...

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: " I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl." Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height. "And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too [blip] ugly to kiss good-bye."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

It's a new day
It's a new dawn
Get out of bed
Get your groove on... penguin

Go forth and haveth a happius maximus day. wink

I expect a full report from each of you when I get back. snicker

joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#889177 - 05/21/13 10:28 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 65269
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe, early start means early off! yay Mine will be a boring story...corner, corner and more corner, then an Insanity class at night because I am a glutton for punishment. rotfl

Have a happy day everyone!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#889190 - 05/22/13 02:42 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7831
Loc: Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later. wave
Have all a great day. smile spring
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#889199 - 05/22/13 03:50 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: Haroula]
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 01/08/06
Posts: 6058
Loc: Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula waveCoffee is ready! Wishing everyone a sunshiney day spring
_________________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue

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#889203 - 05/22/13 04:58 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17330
Loc: Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula , Cailyn and everyone on their way to the Diner. Hope it's a nice day for All! wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#889214 - 05/22/13 06:15 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8127
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Bank, BJ's, lunch out, and the grocery store are on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, French Toast, and Omelets in the NC. spring
_________________________
Connie

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#889216 - 05/22/13 06:43 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17330
Loc: Marlborough USA
I like lunch out to Connie! Enjoy! dance
_________________________
Gerry

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#889226 - 05/22/13 07:59 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14582
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, wishing you an easy day at work.

Ana, enjoy your insanity class. lol

Haroula, happy day to you.

Cailyn, coffee please and thank you.

Gerry, have a good day!

Connie, I could never do BJ's and grocery store in one day. woozy

Rained hard this morning then stopped and sun came out. Church tonight. Wishing everyone a wonderful mid week. catrub
_________________________
Gail

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#889236 - 05/22/13 08:48 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
True Blue Boomer

Registered: 04/16/05
Posts: 21329
Loc: Usually up an Alabama Tree
Joe..here's to hoping your and my work day is brisk but quick

Ana..hmmmm, interesting class..I wonder if it's kin to L4L and my weekends with the boys?

Connie, Gail and anyone else out and about today be sure to drive safe

Cailyn, I'll have coffee on the drive to work as I'm currently enjoying a Shiny Green Smoothie that L4L made yesterday

Haroula and Gerry..and all that follow..do enjoy a wonderful day!

I'm off to work .. see you all later

Whoosh... wave
_________________________
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games

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#889252 - 05/22/13 10:05 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: soot]
Darlene Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/10/00
Posts: 9407
Loc: Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Go forth and haveth a happius maximus day as well!! kissy

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's getting close to a 3-day weekend! happydance

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
_________________________
You become what you think about. Change your thoughts, change your life. - Dko

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#889256 - 05/22/13 11:12 AM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Online   content
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13702
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Joe hope you kslept fast and that work goes fast so you are home before you know it. Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana what can I say. lol Have fun at insanity!! Hope the corner moves right along for you!!

Haroula have a loverly day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Is the campground busy yet??

Gerry have a nice day!

Connie have a fun time at lunch and get some good deals while shopping!! Thanks for the danish!

Gail no sun here and it has been nonstop rain for days now. Cold too as I could see my breath out there while walking with Sassy. lol Almost snowing weather. Have a lovely day!

Soot lol better cause the class is only so long. lol May work fly and go well.

Darlene yes we are getting closer. It seems so early though because of the way the days fall. May work fly and everything go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#889259 - 05/22/13 12:17 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7296
Loc: San Diego, CA
Ugh! I'm still glued to my TV set watching that trial. Thought for sure it would be over yesterday and then it fooled me again. Can't believe the twists and turns. Better than any soap opera. So sad that's it's real life and life is at stake.

EAting crackers and cream cheese for breakfast. I've GOT to go shopping!

All Indoorsie and Outdoorsies are accounted for. Lately 2 of the Outdoorises have been absent or coming when I am asleep I think. Today the entire crew was here and was HUNGRY. I think they all have been out hunting birds. Poor birds. One of them is being chased by crows so I think he found a nest and has been a bad boy.

One of the brought an 'offering' to the food dish yesterday. I saw him chewing on something before I fed everyone and found feathers in the empty dish. How nice of him to contribute. rotfl catrub
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#889262 - 05/22/13 12:34 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

I decided today was going to be a quiet, low key day. So I slept in a bit, got up and did a few good-for your tummy-yoga poses as tummy needs a good slap. Then worked on some clearing up and organizing recipes..though there are many more to do. Fed me, fed dogs, sipped good-for-your-tummy tea.

Son bopped out for hopefully his last double for a while. I'm going to walk up to the local grocery store as I want to walk, but it's too toooooo hot for the doggies. I'd feel too guilty to go to the park. So instead of driving I'm gonna take my life in my hands (or actually my feet) and walk. I so wish we had sidewalks. Remember those?

Per had his last soccer game last night. I think they should have ended a while ago. The kids ran for about the first 2 minutes of the game and then walked for the rest of it. It was hot (90 at 5:30). Per has decided that he likes Goalie 'cos he doesn't have to run and when he stops a ball, everyone cheers. lol

Back after my errand wave


Edited by looney4labs (05/22/13 12:34 PM)
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#889268 - 05/22/13 01:22 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
Lotus777 Offline
Addicted Boomer

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 3270
Loc: Oregon
Good Morning Friends! It is raining steadily here which is the norm except for the past few months we haven't had the norm so it is an alien sound from the skies, haha. I stopped planting things when they said it was going to be really cold also but now wish I had continued as it hasn't been too bad and this rain should help things to Grow...ugh, weeds too!! My sweet Mum is back at her house but I wish she would just stay with us. She is right next door but sometimes that feels so far away. This has affected her memory even more but thankfully she still knows us!! I go there many times a day. I suppose the only thing left to do with this dreary day is Game!!! So Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
_________________________
Lotus
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

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#889292 - 05/22/13 04:26 PM Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42400
Loc: Alabama
Back from my walk, which in spite of the traffic and howling wind was very nice. That is until I was almost home, and there was a fella mowing his dirt. I don't know what he was doing...there was no grass there and he spewed dirt and dust all the way across the street. My asthma so so so did not like it.

Now dishwasher is running and I am sitting and sipping for a second till time to make dinner.

So, while I was in the kitchen cutting and chopping and washing etc, I discovered I needed a 2 liter container. Called hubby to ask him to pick up one on his way home. He reminded me that there were probably some in the garage. So chatting away, I pop out to the garage and look around. I come back in and Whooop Whooop Whoop, there goes the house alarm. My blood pressure shoots up, I yell at hubby "I'm heading up to get my gun." and hang up.

As I'm running upstairs, looking around, trying to figure out why the dogs are not going nuts I realize, It was me! I set off the motion alarm in the garage rotfl So called the alarm company to tell them not to send the police and then called hubby back to tell him I was fine. blush
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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