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Saturdiner #1004474
02/27/15 07:53 PM
02/27/15 07:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
GEORGE CLOONEY

Quote: "You never really learn much from hearing yourself talk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~


UNIVERSAL LAWS

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19.. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick
~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Airport Security Suggestion....


An engineer (ex-NASA project director) has what I think is
the near perfect solution for airport security!

*Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body
scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into
that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device
you may have on you.*

*It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this
[blip] about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long
and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift..*

*Case Closed!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Charley Weaver had the distinction of being the only one of the show's permanent regulars...to be, in fact a character. He was played by Cliff Arquette, the unlikely patriarch of an acting family. (He's the father of Lewis and--believe it or not--grandfather of Rosanna, Patricia and David.) But this was a character that linked the Squares to television's earliest days. Arquette played his Charley Weaver character as a regular on The Dennis Day Show, The Tonight Show (during the Jack Paar years), and the 1962 incarnation of The Roy Rogers/Dale Evans Show. He also popped up in that character in guest shots on shows ranging from Dragnet to The Andy Williams Show. If the Squares were a party, Charley would be the grandfather your parents left to watch after you...then when they left, he might get a couple of drinks in him and tell you every dirty joke he's ever heard.

Arquette was born in Toledo, Ohio in December 1905, but it's the town of Mount Ida, Arkansas that owes its place in American culture to him. That's because his Weaver character developed as a man who was always reading letters from his "Mount Idy Mama." Arquette later said he was inspired by a friend of his mother, who wrote letters from Mount Idy which were read to the whole family. So he often read those in character to Jack Paar or Dennis Day. Arquette also appeared in numerous old-time radio programs, including Fibber McGee & Molly, Lum and Abner and Point Sublime, a 1946 small-town comedy that co-starred Mel Blanc. As "Charley Weaver," Arquette starred in Dave and Charley (1952) as well as a 1955 NBC summer show called Do It Yourself, a combination comedy/how to program that looks like an early forerunner to the fictitious "Tool Time with Tim Taylor" on Home Improvement.

During his later years Arquette, a Civil War buff, owned a Civil War museum in Gettysburg. He also lent his character's name and face to endorsements of garden tools and charcoal briquettes.

Weaver/Arquette was on The Hollywood Squares when it debuted on NBC in October 1966. Except for a nine-month leave of absence in 1973, he stayed on the show until his death in September 1974.

But they haven't entirely forgotten him in Mount Ida, where they still hold a yearly celebration that, until 2000, was called"Charley Weaver Day."
Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Peter Marshall: According to a recent article in the Miami Herald, at age 78, is Groucho Marx still interested in sex?
Charley Weaver: Yes, but he's forgotten the secret word.

Peter Marshall: Charley, an 87-year-old doctor named Quick invented something that's named for him. What is it?
Charley Weaver: 87 years old? I'd say the quickie!

Peter Marshall: Charley, true or false: every time you sneeze, your heart stops.
Charley Weaver: Out to the home, there's a few people that, whenever they sneeze, their hearts stop!

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you've always wanted in Heaven, if you didn't get it on Earth?
Charley Weaver: Yes, but there's an extra charge for the whitewalls.

Peter Marshall: Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country?
Charley Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.

Peter Marshall: According to Today's Health, what do most dentists say you should do with your dentures before going to bed?
Charley Weaver: Out to the home, we throw them all into the center of the room and have a swap party...

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Peter Marshall: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
Peter Marshall: Charles, how many balls would you expect to find on a billiard table?
Charley Weaver: How many guys are playing? (Weaver and audience laughing) Now you're doing it, that's more like it.

Peter Marshall: What famous story begins with the discovery of magic beans?
Charley Weaver: Inherit the Wind.

Peter Marshall: True or false -- when the swallows return to Capistrano, they are probably coming from Argentina.
Charley Weaver: That's true, and not only did they ruin my car, they blew up my trailer!

Peter Marshall: Does Pat Nixon think her husband is fun?
Charley Weaver: Yes, she says he's full of it.

Peter Marshall: Do rosey cheeks always mean good health?
Charley Weaver: Not if you're sitting on a radiator!

Peter Marshall: In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life. What?
Charley Weaver: Four letter words! (correct answer: shyness)

Peter Marshall: Was there anything going on between Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella?
Charley Weaver: Yes, and Columbus later found out that the world was round and she was flat!

Peter Marshall: Shakespeare wrote 154 of them. What are they?
Charley Weaver: Checks to Rose Marie for services rendered.

Peter Marshall: What makes water hard?
Charley Weaver: Winter.

Peter Marshall: You are a senior citizen and during the night while you are asleep, your heart beats 50 times per minute. Is there something wrong with you?
Charley Weaver: Well, let's put it this way. Could you ask me Friday's questions today?

Peter Marshall: True or false -- rumors circulate in business offices more than any place else.
Charley Weaver: That's false, Peter, and we're certainly going to miss you around here!

Peter Marshall: True or false -- drinking can make you hard of hearing.
Charley Weaver: What?

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for you to make a dog laugh?
Charley Weaver: Well, I tried to housebreak a dog once and he just laughed and laughed.

Peter Marshall: When you go shopping, is there any difference between irregulars and seconds?
Charley Weaver: Out at the home, when I have seconds I get irregular.

Peter Marshall: True or false -- as you get older, your skin becomes more transparent.
Charley Weaver: Out at the home in the x-ray room, they just hold us up to a light bulb.

Peter Marshall: True or false -- Lawrence Welk has a fourth grade education.
Charley Weaver: That's why he says, "And a one and a two..."

(at the end of a show, when Peter Marshall is plugging various appearances by the other stars)
Charley Weaver: ...And I will be appearing in Wasserman, Ohio, with my trained pet hamster!

Peter Marshall: Every night before he went to bed, George Washington would always put his false teeth into something. What?
Charley Weaver: Martha!

Peter Marshall: According to the nursery rhyme, "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do". What did she give her children to eat?
Charley Weaver: She lived in a shoe? Filet of sole!

Peter Marshall: Tommy Smothers and President George Washington share a common outstanding physical trait that's very noticeable and unique. What is it?
Charley Weaver: They both have wooden teeth.

Peter Marshall: In the movie "Camelot", Sir Lancelot is called on to perform a miracle. What is the miracle?
Charley Weaver: The miracle is to make the movie a hit.

Peter Marshall: Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called "Hotel". He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called?
Charley Weaver: Service Station.

Peter Marshall: Which is higher, a vice admiral or a rear admiral?
Charley Weaver: That depends on who drinks the most.

Peter Marshall: Who said, "Richard Nixon was the most difficult man I ever had
to paint"?
Charlie Weaver: Earl Scheib.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I think the groundhog saw a solar eclipse when he came out.


He put a sign on his hole that says 'do not disturb until April'. razz


We didn't have much of a Winter here until the air conditioners started coming in.


I'm trying to set up AC displays, and everyone is coming in asking, "Where's your heaters? Where's your heaters?" smirk


Ah well I've dealt with crazy weather before. I was once snowed in at Spring Break. crazy


It was a broken Spring that's for sure. cool


Oooo! Darkness has overtaken my humble abode. eek


I must retire to my igloo and go to hybernate. sleep


Have a happy day everyone.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004481
02/27/15 08:51 PM
02/27/15 08:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Morning Joe and all Boomers waveWe have gotten over 100 hundred inches of Snow and more coming eekThe bathing suits and grills have been out all month,along with the shovels and rock salt smirk Coffee is ready wishing you all a great day winter


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004500
02/28/15 12:40 AM
02/28/15 12:40 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,971
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,971
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, spring will be here be before you know it!


Sue, that's a crazy amount of snow! eek

Well, I just got home from a night out with a bunch of old friends. we had a great time!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004511
02/28/15 02:38 AM
02/28/15 02:38 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have all a happy day. happydance smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1004514
02/28/15 02:46 AM
02/28/15 02:46 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hi ya Boom Boom buddies wave



Hey ya Joe Thanks for the funny openers
enjoy your snow


Hi Sue your funny bathing suits & grills lol
be careful in that snow~
Thanks for the coffee


Hi ya Ana aawwww James is a darling baby and you don't look old enough to be a grammy


Hi Haroula Have a nice Saturday flowers



Hi Darlene Thank you for the huge hugs~ Have a nice day~ is it sunny in Calf??



Yankkee!!! my Possy is back!!!!!!! taz
I know its the same one cause it has the corner of its left ear missing~ poor guy~



Got a home health care nurse coming 2 times a week, her name is Nay-Nay she's from Africa and she is such a sweetheart heartsfeeling pretty good now~




Have a nice day Boomers! Karen catrub


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004517
02/28/15 05:19 AM
02/28/15 05:19 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,349
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,349
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Sue, Ana, Karen, Haroula and All Boomers. Fresh coffee is on for the morning. Thanks for the funnies Joe. Sue I've still got 3 feet of snow on the deck! winter It's never going to melt if we don't get some warm temperatures! shiver We are expecting more snow tomorrow! Ana sounds like you had a fun time with old friends. Haroula enjoy! Karen how are you? Sending love and hugs your way. flowers Take Care. Wishing everyone a warm and cozy day! wave


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004524
02/28/15 06:45 AM
02/28/15 06:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,112
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 14,112
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Today would have been hubby's 75th Birthday. It is also the 1 year Anniversary of his passing. I still miss him more than words can say. The family and some friends are getting together tonight for dinner and to celebrate hubby and the rest of the family members Birthdays. We had 4 Birthdays this week. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004537
02/28/15 08:38 AM
02/28/15 08:38 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers winter

Joe, Weather has been unbelievable everywhere. Craziest winter ever!

Sue, I just went to pick up rock salt yesterday. Stores have bathing suits out. lol

Ana, it's so nice to hang out with old friends. I wish I did it more often.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Karen, wishing you a wonderful day! hearts

Gerry, more snow on the way. When is it ever going to end?

Connie, It's a bitter-sweet day for you. Hugs!

Shopping around today. More snow tomorrow night. I think we already broke the record for snow in February. It's ridiculous! I can only imagine what it's going to be like when it melts. Of course with this freezing weather we probably won't have to worry about it till June. rotfl


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004545
02/28/15 09:59 AM
02/28/15 09:59 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hi, everyone. wave I'm just doing a quick post today, as I'm not really feeling well. frown Not sick or anything, just dinner last night not agreeing with me and restless sleep on top of that. Which means I'll probably have to postpone seeing my mom yet again. This should hopefully be the last time. I have a four day weekend coming up, which gives me plenty of time to not feel badly and not be caught in snow. lol

All right, off to see what else is happening. Have a great day, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004553
02/28/15 10:49 AM
02/28/15 10:49 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,365
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,365
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004556
02/28/15 11:04 AM
02/28/15 11:04 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Joe it sure is crazy how they "rush" into the seasons no matter what it is like out the door. lol Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Sue, now I know where our snow went. lol We are over two feet below where we should be on the amount of snow. Hope yours stops soon. Have a lovely day!

Ana glad you made it out and about with friends last night. Lovely picture of you and James and the cute video with Marlin. Thanks for sharing. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Karen that is nice that you have some help a couple times a week. Also that your possum is back!! Sending HUGS and prayers!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. I'll trade your snow for our sub-zero cold. lol Have a lovely day!

Connie HUGS! Sounds like a nice get together is planned. HUGS to you and Happy Birthday to those celebrating their birthdays! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail have fun shopping around and I hope the snow ends soon. Have a lovely day!

venus hope you are feeling better soonest. Have a lovely day!

Good morning Space! Welcome to the weekend! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Last edited by auntiegram; 02/28/15 11:04 AM.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004562
02/28/15 11:49 AM
02/28/15 11:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Hooray for FOUND possums! Mine are back too. I think all 3 have been here. One huge one and 2 smaller ones who seem to 'like' each other. Ohhh.

As for the weatherman...he said it would rain starting at 3 am. Well, it's not raining, doesn't look like it will rain anytime soon and that inch of rain he promised better be here soon or I'm going to have to water all my plants. Darn.

Just found out that a 1.2 volt battery, won't work a 3.2 volt solar light. Ha. AND that rechargeble batteries don't have 'expiration' dates, they have 'production' dates so you know how long it's been in use. Duh. Makes sense now, didn't when I started looking for replacements. Back to Wally Mart for some 3.2 volt batteries. I learn something new every day. My Dad used to say I was a 'vast compendium of useless information'. I think he was right.

Other than the police down the street yesterday morning (not the empty house: just a brother/sister beat down), and the roll-over, non-injury accident, at the very corner I got my car hit last year, and a traffic jam at that same corner for 2 hours past that, and the 'run' on the gas station before the prices go up another dollar, and a terrorist threat to a local high school, and the police chasing a guy who ended up hiding in the bathroom at the old folk's home, and forgetting to put detergent in my laundry load, and forgetting if I took my medications on time or took double one hour later (yikes!), nothing much happened yesterday. rotfl

Off to find those batteries.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: Sorta Blonde] #1004564
02/28/15 12:25 PM
02/28/15 12:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a super Saturdiner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Son, DIL, and grandbabies are coming over later today for a barbecue and overnight stay. Tomorrow morning, daughter and SIL will join us and I'll make crepes for the whole bunch! woot

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004579
02/28/15 02:08 PM
02/28/15 02:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Hooray for Karen's possum -back home and looking for eats. Do you think possy is a she and she has babies somewhere although babies hang on mom's fur. Some do dissapear -mine is back too, so now I have 2 again. Today mine will dine on Jimmy Dean's original breakfast sausage. I bought it for myself but I'm vegge and I felt guilty eating some. And I missed that fresh aftertaste you get from fruit and vegge.

Kind of a grey lizard day but we walked anyway. Each time I go a bit farther and perhaps someday we will make it to the back pond and all returning home safe and sound. Spotted more henbit and some bluets.

Dining on creamy Danish blue cheese and ritz crackers -Ah das suess leben.

Happy Saturday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004584
02/28/15 02:37 PM
02/28/15 02:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,863
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Been up for hours. Shortstopped in the kitchen to do some eo organization and then played mad scientist and then cleaned it all up. Hubby and I are going to go walk the monkeys as soon as I post as it's in the 60's so how can we not?

I really want to vacuum and wash dogs today, but as my back is already being mouthy, I expect I'm just going to veg after the park. Son is taking the boys to a movie, but I don't think I'll be up for it.

Doc, whoop whoop for Possy. Glad you and Nay-Nay have found each other.

Connie, big hugs to you. I know you do.

Venus, hope you feel better soon. Do you have any ginger or peppermint tea?

Back after our walk wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1004595
02/28/15 03:51 PM
02/28/15 03:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Oooh Darlene, can I have a crepe tomorrow? I'll bring my plate and silverware and I'll do the dishes, please,please? I'm off to my 5 to 8 shift. See you later.

Midgie hearts smile
edit: I'm now looking for my pillow so I'll see you in the morning. Night all.

Midgie hearts sleep

Last edited by Midge; 02/28/15 10:28 PM.

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