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Tuesday's #1047570
12/28/15 08:09 PM
12/28/15 08:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Sarah Silverman on Cleaning House

My kitchen floor is sticky, and 
I had to do something about it. So finally I went out and bought some slippers.

Sarah Silverman

`````````````````````````````````

That Springtime Smell

I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck. I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air.

Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season. She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener.

`````````````````````````

No. 1 on Our List — Literally!

My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

``````````````````

Paternal Payback

On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.

“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”

````````````````````````

Pop Vs. Pup

While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”

```````````````````````````

Papa Bear

My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”

Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”

````````````````````````````

What a Card!

Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.

When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”

“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”

````````````````````

Watch the Wash, Dad…

I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”

```````````````````````

Say What, Dad?

Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:

“Can you turn up that music?”

“Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”

“I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”

“Here, you take the remote.”

```````````````````````````

Thanks for the Soda, Pop!

Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.

``````````````````````````

The Right Choice

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.

Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.” He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

“Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”

````````````````````````

Care of The US Military

We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-
looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. When our drill instructor demanded an explanation, the man bellowed, “This recruit has proved himself worthless and weak and is being mailed home to his mother!”

```````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. winter


HEY we had snow this morning! penguin


When I left for work it was still pouring rain. After I had been at work about an hour, it had turned to snow, but it didn't last long, and certainly didn't stick, because it was above 32 degrees the whole time. eek12


We did get over 5 1/2" of rain. WaaHoo! bravo12


I can't wait until Friday. bravo12


3 days........ woot


Have a happy day everyone. rah



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047571
12/28/15 08:21 PM
12/28/15 08:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 80,833
In the Naughty Corner
I have almost 4 inches of sleet here Joe. It broke my shovel. lol12

Have an awesome day! I may actually venture out today past my driveway.

Ana wave12


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1047578
12/28/15 09:36 PM
12/28/15 09:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the laughs joe.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047580
12/28/15 10:15 PM
12/28/15 10:15 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, it's been raining pretty much every day here for the past two weeks. I don't remember the last time I saw the sun. rolleyes12 Hope your weather improves and that Friday comes soon for you.

Ana, best thoughts for your family's safe travels! Hope you either have a back up shovel or get a nice new one. lol12

Have a great day, Space Quest.

It's Monday night here, and I'm off to sleep soon. Regardless of it only being a four day week, it's proving to be an exceptionally stressful one. rolleyes12 Looking forward to my three day weekend already. lol12

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday. tree


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: venus] #1047595
12/29/15 01:26 AM
12/29/15 01:26 AM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
Hi to all my Boomie friends!

I'm glad everyone had a lovely Christmas! I went to California to spend the holiday with my newly discovered birth family in Paso Robles. (North of San Luis Obispo) My half sister and brother and their families were so nice, and I had a great time! The flight going there was not so great. It was on AA and it left Phoenix and flew right to San Luis Obispo and started a decent but just at the last minute the pilot aborted and took a steep climb. He diverted to Bakersfield, and landed there. We sat around for a couple of hours in the terminal and then they loaded us back on and flew to SLO again. Once again we make a careful approach to the airport and just at the last moment the pilot aborts again and climbs up fast. Makes an announcement that we are going to Santa Barbara. Land there. (Both landings were very rough.) They give up, and bus us 2 hrs north to SLO, where I pick up my rental car and drive up to Paso Robles. My family was planning to open their gifts that night so they came and got me at my motel. I got back to my motel quite late and was truly exhausted. That was on the 22nd. I came back on Saturday the 26th with no issues and the plane was full. This morning I came down with a Christmas cold, and feel really icky.
I hope anyone who is having bad weather made it thru safely. I have no plans for New Year other than trying to lose my cold.
Happy New Year to all! HNY
Andrea newyear

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047605
12/29/15 06:10 AM
12/29/15 06:10 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,340
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,340
Marlborough USA
tree Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, venus, Andrea and everyone. Joe and Ana hope your weather gets better! SpaceQ have a good one. Venus wishing you a stress free day! Andrea how nice for you to find extended family for Christmas! Hope the cold gets better soon! Coffee and tea are ready. Wishing you all a great day! tree


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047610
12/29/15 07:20 AM
12/29/15 07:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,975
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 13,975
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. A vet appointment for Outlaw this morning to recheck his ears. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Sausage Biscuits in the NC. Biscuit Bottoms for L4L. HNY


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047615
12/29/15 08:12 AM
12/29/15 08:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers tree

Joe, Friday will be here before you know it!

Ana, hope the weather improves.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Space, good day wishes!

Andrea, a very happy new year to you!

Connie, hope Outlaw has a good Vet checkup.

Venus, a happy workday wished.

A snow, rain, ice mix here this morning. Not a good day to travel out on the roads. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! eek12

Last edited by GBC; 12/29/15 08:13 AM.

Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: GBC] #1047638
12/29/15 12:17 PM
12/29/15 12:17 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
newyear Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a terrific Tuesday's!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Work today and tomorrow, then looking forward to a nice long New Year's weekend!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047647
12/29/15 01:20 PM
12/29/15 01:20 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
Yeah Joe on the snow!!! lol12 Ours took a different route so it missed us. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana hope everybody is now home and safe!! Sorry the shovel broke. Have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

venus hope the long weekend holds true! Have a lovely day!!

Andrea sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas!!! Have a lovely day!!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie good luck with the Vet appointment and thanks for the danish. Have a lovely day!

Gail sounds like a gaming day!!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene nice to have a nice long weekend off! Nice way to start the new year!! May work go smooth and you have a lovely day!

wave12
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047648
12/29/15 01:30 PM
12/29/15 01:30 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,843
San Diego, CA
Just to prove that we actually get SNOW here only 1/2 hours drive from me:

http://www.sandiegonewsvideo.com/archive/20151229B-overnight-winter-snow-storm-mount-laguna

So today we have snowboarding and sledding and then on the other side of me (15 minutes) surfboarders riding big 'king tide' waves. It's a weird place to live. Love it here.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047655
12/29/15 02:21 PM
12/29/15 02:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Sorta, you should air this again for us in August. Snow's fun if you don't have to go anywhere. And that looks like Buffalo, New York when I was a kid. Other than being cold nothing spectacular here -kitteys like it -they run indoors all fluffeled and aren't at all pickey about their eats. Oh Joy and then they sleeeeeeep Das suess leben.

Breakfast is a bunch of grapes and Gardien pork chunks, good pork flavor.

Must finish wolfenstein today
Happy tuesday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Yankee Clipper] #1047678
12/29/15 07:13 PM
12/29/15 07:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047684
12/29/15 07:56 PM
12/29/15 07:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,855
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,855
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

We have sunshine happydance12 We hadn't seen blue sky in so long I forgot what it looked like lol12

We've have busy morning. Finally some time to sit and sip and surf.

Hubby and son and g'sons leave for NE tomorrow to visit hubby's mom. I'll stay here with the dogs as she moved a few years back and we can't take the dogs to the new place. So lots of trip preparation going on.

Also some frantic searching for the Wii U datapad which we all agree made it to the kitchen, but after that it seems to have disappeared. We need it to tell the console that it's hooked up to a different tv, but so far, no joy. Looked to just buy a new one a few minutes ago...but you can almost buy a new Wii U for the cost of the replacement data pad. We are sad

Had a great visit with my sister who had a scary experience last night, but who is ok, thank you Lord.

Joe, love that first joke! Cracked me up! "Pop vs. Pup" was great! Counting down with ya happydance12

Ana, stay warm.

Space wave12

Venus, hope the day gets better.

Andrea, sorry your flights were rough, but very happy you are back. Now rest and kick that cold. Hugs!

Gerry, it's tea time. Hope your day is wonderful.

Connie, hope the vet has good news.

Gail, you able to stay in today?

Happy skooshing, Darlene.

Nan, do you have snow on the ground?

Sorta, sounds like fun. We used to love going to the mountains when we lived in the desert for the temperature change.

Yankee, you have cold?

I tried to post this much earlier today but it didn't let me wave12


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047692
12/29/15 10:30 PM
12/29/15 10:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep12


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: venus] #1047695
12/29/15 10:41 PM
12/29/15 10:41 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,353
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #1047703
12/30/15 12:17 AM
12/30/15 12:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,623
northern Wisconsin
L4l we have about 3-4 inches of snow here. Sending the Band for safe travels for hubby and son and the boys. May they have safe travels!

Sorta nice video!!!!!

Night all! Sleep well!

sleep12
Nan

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