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Monday Morning Mumbling #1061685
04/03/16 10:50 PM
04/03/16 10:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,836
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,836
Calera, Oklahoma
A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.

~~MARILYN MONROE~~

``````````````````````````

“That’s a nice plant,” said a woman at the florist’s shop, pointing to the flower I was buying.

“Yeah, my wife and I had an argument,” I admitted. “I was going to buy her a dozen roses, but I don’t think she’s that mad at me.”

`````````````````````````

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.

`````````````````````

After waiting two hours for her date, Sarah concluded she’d been stood up. So she changed into pajamas, made some popcorn, and flopped down in front of the TV. Then the doorbell rang—it was her date. He took one look at Sarah and gasped. “You’re still not ready?”

````````````````````

Dating is complicated. You don’t believe us? Here are some examples:


Right after we broke up, my ex-girlfriend called to ask how to change her relationship status on Facebook.

I got into a 90-minute argument with my girlfriend because she was adamant that Moby Dick was a true story. I finally let her win so I could go to sleep.

My now ex-girlfriend and I were in my room one day, and the Internet was particularly slow. After I complained, she suggested that I untangle my Ethernet cord so that more Internet could get through.

I recently joined an online dating site, and one of my matches was my first cousin.

`````````````````````````

“Why doesn’t your mother like me?” a woman asks her boyfriend.

“Don’t take it personally,” he assures her. “She’s never liked anyone I’ve dated. I once dated someone exactly like her, and that didn’t work out at all.”

“What happened?”

“My father couldn’t stand her.”

```````````````````````````

During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Elated, I wrote down my phone number.

Looking startled for a moment, he drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.

````````````````````````````````````````

I was supposed to go out with this guy on Friday night. On Friday afternoon he called and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends. So I hung up and called him back. He was like, "Hello?" I said, "Hey, friend, it’s me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"

```````````````````````````````````

My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival. When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank top with spaghetti straps. A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. I took the girl’s side, recalling that when we began dating, I dressed the same way.

“Yes,” said my boyfriend sternly, “and I said something about it, didn’t I?”

Everyone looked at me. “Yeah,” I replied. “You said, ‘What’s your phone number?'”

```````````````````````````````

I was in line at a restaurant. In front of me was a mother with her college-age son and his girlfriend. It was the middle of the dinner rush, and many customers were restless at the long wait, but the young couple, holding hands and kissing, were oblivious to everything around them. Although clearly not approving, the mother was silent, until one prolonged kiss when the young man had his face and hands buried in his girlfriend’s long, curly locks.

“Do you have to do that here?” the embarrassed mother asked.

“I’m not doing anything, Mom,” came her son’s muffled voice. “My earring’s caught in her hair.”

```````````````````````````````

Pointing to a pan of chicken wings and legs disguised in the classic mess-hall manner, a young airman asked the mess sergeant, "What’s for chow?"

"Air Force chicken," replied the sergeant. "You want wings or landing gear?"

`````````````````````````

One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my newborn daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned into the baby carriage and said, "See the doggy?"

Suddenly I felt a little silly talking to my baby as if she understood me. But just as the man passed, I noticed he reached down, patted his dog and said, "See the baby?"

`````````````````````````````

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

"Yes," I answered, and continued writing the report.

"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"

"Yes, that’s right," I told her.

"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

````````````````````````````

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Monday? Isn't it Sunday, and if not, what happened to Sunday? taz


Well, Sunday is not always Sunday, and Monday is not always Monday on my calendar. duh


I have two days on & three days off. bravo


I went to the creek today though, so I don't really have anywhere to go to hunt until we have another heavy rain event. frown


I mowed my yard yesterday, so my house should get real clean. razz


Ana I'm sorry to hear about your ankle, I hope it doesn't hurt too bad. hearts


Have a happy day everyone. wave2



joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/03/16 10:52 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061700
04/04/16 04:05 AM
04/04/16 04:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I've been up since about 3:30. I can't sleep, so I thought I'd see who's here in the diner. Thanks Joe for opening for us. I'm taking it easy today, trying to recoup a little from my surgery on Friday. Hello to all who come in for breakfast and coffee and tea. Connie I'm definitely having my fav breakfast a little later. Welcome to Monday.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061701
04/04/16 04:30 AM
04/04/16 04:30 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a nice day. wavegirl
Midgie wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061703
04/04/16 04:37 AM
04/04/16 04:37 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,124
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,124
Marlborough USA
wave2 Good Morning Joe, Midgie, Haroula and everyone. Joe enjoy your day. Midgie hope you feel better. I'm thinking of you. Haroula have a nice day too. Ana be patient and take care of that ankle. Coffee and tea are ready. Another snowing start to our day here. We are expecting 4 to 6 inches of snow again! Wishing you all a sunny day! wave2


Gerry
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061708
04/04/16 05:50 AM
04/04/16 05:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,667
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,667
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Midge, I hope you are feeling better. Ana, I hope your ankle improves quickly. Have a Wonderful Monday everyone. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Waffles in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061709
04/04/16 05:54 AM
04/04/16 05:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 586
Oslo, Norway
Carolin Offline
Settled Boomer
Carolin  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 586
Oslo, Norway
Hope you all have a wonderful monday. Just finnished my school-trip report and delivered it. Just four hours left before deadline. I am really pleased this time, usually its minutes left, not hours smile

Caroline.


I haven't lost it, I just can't find it....
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061714
04/04/16 06:47 AM
04/04/16 06:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers penguin

Joe, Midgie, Haroula, Gerry, Connie and Caroline, good day wishes to you all and to those on their way.

Snowstorm here. Have no idea what happened to Spring? duh


Gail
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061722
04/04/16 08:40 AM
04/04/16 08:40 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,069
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,069
In the Naughty Corner
Goods morning all! Thank you for your well wishes! I twisted it in my driveway. It's a double wide driveway and it's uneven between one side and the other and I happened to step right on the split and rolled my ankle. Not good timing because I should be training for my Spartan race. I can't afford to be sidelined.

Have a happy day everyone! Errand running for me today.Yuck.

Midgie hearts

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #1061728
04/04/16 09:50 AM
04/04/16 09:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,449
Southern California
wave2 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your Monday Morning Mumbling! smile

hearts Midgie, big hugs to you.

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Beautiful morning here in SoCal!

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061745
04/04/16 01:31 PM
04/04/16 01:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I was up early to say bye to hubby. Then back to bed to read til my brain said sleep. Then sleep til it said wake.

My normal morning routine was interrupted by errand time and then it was so beautiful out, I grabbed the dogs and we went walking. Came home starving!

Feeling better after lunch and finally, time to sit and sip and surf wave

Midgy, glad you were able to take a couple of days off.

Ana, when is your Spartan race?

Carolin, grats on getting your report in on time and even a few hours early hamster


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: looney4labs] #1061749
04/04/16 02:29 PM
04/04/16 02:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061763
04/04/16 05:23 PM
04/04/16 05:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
Afternoon, Space, welcome home! wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: looney4labs] #1061769
04/04/16 06:15 PM
04/04/16 06:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks looney. smile


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: Space Quest Fan] #1061786
04/04/16 07:49 PM
04/04/16 07:49 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,083
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Morning Mumbling [Re: gymcandy1] #1061796
04/04/16 09:32 PM
04/04/16 09:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,260
Alabama
Night Boomers, Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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