Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
~Comedian Demetri Martin~
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Funny Pizza StoryAs many as twenty prisoners at the Risdon Prison in Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, captured a prison officer in a protest over conditions in the maximum security jail. The inmates made 24 demands to authorities initially and these were refused. They attempted one further demand which was for fifteen pizzas, cola and some garlic bread instead.
Round about midnight, the final sticking point with the inmates was that they were requiring pizzas to be delivered immediately if the hostage was to be released. A prison staff member negotiated the delivery of the 15 pizzas, Graeme Barber, Tasmania's Director of Prisons, told The Advocate newspaper and then the officer was set free. We learn that he is recovering from his ordeal at home. No word is available from the well fed inmates.
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An Amusing Phone a Villain News StoryA woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the man who answered that he had read an advert in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet and the thief was duly arrested. You couldn't make it up!
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An Hilarious Car Story from a Tabloid45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packets containing illegal drugs were hidden in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
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A Silly but Funny Police Story
A policeman in Braunschweig, Germany, grabbed a 70 year old thief as he fled from a clothes shop after stealing a shirt.
The shoplifter tried to evade capture by biting the arresting officer before realising he had left his dentures at home; so instead of sinking his teeth into the officer's arm, he was only able to leave a wet mark from his gums.
Police spokesman Gunther Brauner reported, 'He tried to bite the officer several times, but had forgotten to put his false teeth in and so was unable to cause him any harm.'
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Hilarious Tale When a Cow Runs AmokA veterinary surgeon from Holland has been fined 600 guilders [about $240 USD] we have discovered, for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde, in the Netherlands.
The vet had been trying to convince a farmer that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000 USD. No cows were injured in the conflagration.
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Mr R.C. Gaitlin, aged 21 years, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit, USA, neighbourhood. He inquired how the system worked, the officers asked to use his I.D. for an example.
Gaitlin gave them his driver's license; the police officers entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested him for a robbery committed in St. Louis, Missouri.
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Funny Tabloid Headlines Miner Refuses to Work after Death
[That-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
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Funny Newspaper Adverts In the classified ads: Sewing-machine mechanic to work in ladies' housecoats. Good wages and working conditions.
Evening Chronicle: Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Dinner Special --- Turkey $4.35; Chicken or Beef $4.25; Children $2.00.
For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
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From The Derby Abbey Community News: 'We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.
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Safety film - Report: A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to the Health and Safety Council News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
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Daily Telegraph: In a piece headed 'Brussels Pays £200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes: the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels.'
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The Times: A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common.'
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend,and Happy Groundhog Day!
Or Happy Hamster Day I guess if you'd prefer.
I was going to just copy yesterday's diner and post it again, but I thought that might be too obvious.
I got out today and made a trip to the park, and then to Walmart and that was about it.
It's always nice to know you have lots to do to keep you busy, and occupy you thoughts. That's why I didn't do any of it today. I have lots to look forward to doing....when I get a round tuit.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Wishing everyone a Fun Saturday! 
welcome to Ground Hog Day 
, Ana 
goodluck with the hiking it sounds like fun 
and kaki's Sister 
coffee and tea sounds wonderful...Happy gaming all Boomer's. 
for the weekend
