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Hap E Hump Day #1186822
05/21/19 06:33 PM
05/21/19 06:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,745
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,745
Calera, Oklahoma
The Internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.

~Jon Stewart~
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Our local newspaper lists recipients of school awards. Beneath one photo, the caption read "This year’s Perfect Attendance Awards go to Ann Stein and Bradley Jenkins. Not present for photo: Bradley Jenkins."
~~~~

When our students began raising donations for Child Abuse Prevention Week, the school administration did its part by setting up a collection box outside the principal’s office and displaying a banner by the front door of the lobby. It read "Please give $1 to help stop child abuse in the front office."
~~~~

An amateur pilot wannabe, I knew I’d finally made progress with my flight training the day my instructor turned to me and said, “You know, you’re not as much fun since you stopped screaming.”
~~~~

Discovered: why our nation’s education system is in trouble. When a friend delivered 20 new math books to a teacher’s classroom, the teacher exclaimed, "Oh, shoot! I was hoping it was something I could use."
~~~~

In lectures on human genetics, I explained to my college students that males determine the sex of the offspring by contributing either an X or a Y chromosome. So at the end of the year, I put it on the final exam: "How is the sex of the child determined?"

One student wrote, "By examining it at birth."
~~~~

A middle school in New Ipswich, New Hampshire, encourages freethinking. A sign outside the school reads, “You are unique—just like everyone else.”
~~~~

During my first meeting with my physically challenged students, I assured them that most people are handicapped in some way.

"Look at me," I said. "My eyes are so bad, I need to wear glasses. Because I can barely hear, I need a hearing aid. And look at my ears—they’re much bigger than they should be."

From the back, a boy added, "And your nose too."
~~~~

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Joey, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

Joey: Because George still had the ax in his hand?
~~~~

When our school librarian announced she was changing schools, my fellow teacher asked a student, "Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?"

The third grader opined, "Because she’s read all our books?"
~~~~

One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an impassioned speech on the benefits of drinking liquor. Alcohol, he insisted, warded off colds, kept you alert, and even made you steadier on your feet.

"Good job," said our instructor when he finished. "Only one thing: Your topic was the benefits of drinking liquids, not liquor."
~~~~

I’d contacted a butcher to get sheep brains for a lecture in my neuroanatomy class and said I’d be by to pick them up. But when I arrived at his shop, it was closed. Taped to the door was this note: "Teacher, your brains are next door at the barbershop."
~~~~

"Guess what?" yelled my high schooler as he burst through the door. "I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn’t even know we were having."

"That’s great!" I said. "But why didn’t you know about the quiz?"

"Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish."
~~~~

Interviewing a college applicant, the dean of admissions asks, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The student thinks it over, then answers, "The living one."
~~~~

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.

Millie: I is …

Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, "I am."

Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
~~~~

An e-mail from our school principal: "The Miss BHS Beauty Pageant has been moved to Friday night instead of Saturday because of the contestants involved in the hog show."
~~~~

When a nosy fourth-grade student wanted the scoop on what another teacher and I were discussing in private, I decided it was time for an impromptu lesson in manners.

"Do you know what ‘minding your own business’ means?" I asked pointedly.

He didn’t, but a student clear across the room shouted, "I do!"
~~~~

Flummoxed by his true-false final exam, a student decides to toss a coin up in the air. Heads means true; tails, false. Thirty minutes later, he’s done, well before the rest of the class. But then the student starts flipping the coin again. And soon he’s swearing and sweating over each question.

"What’s wrong?" asks the concerned teacher.

"I’m rechecking my answers," says says the student.
~~~~

"Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don’t want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!"
~~~~

I was a percussion major when I was in college, and during a rehearsal of the student orchestra, my section kept making mistakes.

"When you’re too dumb to play anything," the professor conducting us sneered, "they give you a couple of sticks, put you in the back and call you a percussionist."

A friend next to me whispered, "And if you’re too dumb to hang on to both sticks, they put you in the front and call you a conductor."
~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave2


My morning was a booming, blustery morning. I woke up to rain pounding against the windows so hard I thought they would break. eek


There were tornadoes and rumors of tornadoes all over Texas and Oklahoma. taz


After I got up I saw that I slept right through a tornado warning. slapforehead


It finally cleared off and with the wind blowing pretty good....it felt pretty good. lol


I finished up my bathroom flooring job. It looks great if I say so myself. thumbsup


Got a text from the Ford dealer that said my truck is nearing completion. Maybe they'll finish it early. woot


Have a happy day everyone. urock


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186835
05/21/19 07:55 PM
05/21/19 07:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,200
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,200
Usually in an Alabama Tree
woot Yes it is Joe and a Hap E Hump day to you too! Well done on the floor ... and I might say it looks good too ... and glad to hear the bad weather passed you yes

Family have fun watching court shows and your soaps!

Ana, my crunch is going good ... chip chip chip every day ... daughter got 6 or 7 inches of snow yesterday and I think we're going triple digit this weekend eek

Connie ... what's your average humidity with the high temps? I'll have a bacon sandwich to go this morning thanks

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Connie L4L and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186837
05/21/19 08:44 PM
05/21/19 08:44 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,619
marietta,georgia
family Offline
Addicted Boomer
family  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,619
marietta,georgia
watching court shows and soap opera.

Last edited by family; 05/21/19 09:31 PM.
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186840
05/21/19 08:59 PM
05/21/19 08:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,691
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Happy
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 77,691
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you are quite talented! You do wonderful remodeling! I was watching where the tornado activity was hoping you stay safe.

soot, glad all is going well! She can keep the snow! lol We just have rain..and more rain. I'm sick of working in the rain everyday. And it was in the 40's today.

family, enjoy!

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186851
05/22/19 06:07 AM
05/22/19 06:07 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,415
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,415
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Great Hump Day. Soot, humidity is generally in the upper 80's. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and Biscuits in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186864
05/22/19 10:11 AM
05/22/19 10:11 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,193
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,193
Alabama
Happy Hump Day ya'll puppy

Will be feeding the doggies and heading out for a vet visit with Seagan. She has some lumps under her neck that I want the vet to check. She has been in remission from lymphoma for 5 years. Hoping and praying these are just lumps and nothing more.

Hope you all are having a wonderful day wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186880
05/22/19 03:30 PM
05/22/19 03:30 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,880
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 15,880
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hap E Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #1186888
05/22/19 04:25 PM
05/22/19 04:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,193
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,193
Alabama
Afternoon, Space Quest wave How has your day been?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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