Joe's Diner March 7th
#1211916
03/07/20 06:30 PM
03/07/20 06:30 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends. ~ Bobby Kelton ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80? “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing? “No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live that long?? ~~~~ “Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank God, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!” ~~~~ Mother – I need to speak to the doctor, it’s an emergency, my infant has a temperature of 101. Doctor to Secretary – Find out how she’s taking the temperature. Secretary – How are you taking it? Mother – Oh, I’m holding up OK. ~~~~ I was very scared about going to the eye doctor to get a certain procedure done on my eyes. The doctor tried to put me at ease but to no avail. It was after he finished with my first eye that I nearly jumped out of the chair. “There there”, he said “only one eye left!” ~~~~ So this old man goes to the doctor and the doctor says, “You’re test results came back and I’m afraid I have some bad news. You have Cancer and you have Alzheimer’s”. The old man says, “That ain’t so bad, at least I don’t have Cancer!” ~~~~ An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!” ~~~~ I work as a pediatric nurse, and often have the painful job of giving shots to the children. One day upon entering the examining room to give a shot the little girl starting screaming “NO! NO! NO!” “Jessica” her mother scolded, “that is not polite behavior!” At that the girl continued to scream “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!” ~~~~ A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is terrible” responded the doctor, and what happened to your other ear?” “Well” the blond guy responded “Right afterwards, the phone rang again!” ~~~~ A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah?” the patient responded, “Well you haven't met my in-laws!” ~~~~ Good evening everyboomie. Time Marches on. Is everyone ready to Spring Forward? Or maybe this year we're supposed to Leap Forward. Personally I am so ready to maybe keep it dark a little longer in the mornings so I can sleep that extra hour peacefully. Pepper gets a bit noisy when the sun comes up. Actually I'll be Falling Back an hour. I set my clocks ahead 2 hours a couple of months ago just for that reason. Maybe now I'll be on time for my appointments. Have a great week everyone. joe
Last edited by gymcandy1; 03/07/20 06:39 PM.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211932
03/08/20 06:52 AM
03/08/20 06:52 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,055 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,055
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, breakfast out. District meeting for the Eagles today. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Brown, Bacon, Sausage, French Toast, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1211969
03/08/20 07:33 PM
03/08/20 07:33 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,837 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,837
Alabama
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Hey Ho everyone I'm with you Joe ... springing forward and falling back seems a little silly ... not sure we really need to do it Hey Ho Ana manXman Connie and SpaceQF Oh my manXman ... that must have been painful ... but a good time to catch up with reading (perhaps) Woo Hoo Hoo Connie ... I'll have an egg sandwich to go with a tall dark roast of Gerry's coffee
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: soot]
#1212015
03/09/20 10:51 AM
03/09/20 10:51 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,135 Unionville
manxman
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,135
Unionville
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Soot, someone flipped a switch outside in our area. At least the service guy had an easy fix in 5 minutes. With all my free time I watched curling all week. (the Canadian Brier). Don't supposed that it was on your tv set in Alabama Thanks SQF. Never knew how much I missed having the internet.
Last edited by manxman; 03/09/20 11:02 AM.
Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212061
03/09/20 08:37 PM
03/09/20 08:37 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,837 Alabama
soot
Puzzled Moderator
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Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 37,837
Alabama
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No, wasn't on any sports program down here manXman ... the only exception would be during the Winter Olympics Oh my goodness Connie, I think I'll have grits and bacon today Enjoy your shows Family Have a great day everyone
Dan ... To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212141
03/10/20 10:05 PM
03/10/20 10:05 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,353 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,353
In the Naughty Corner
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Yay! We made it to Hump Day! Hope everyone is enjoying their week! Joe, family, L4L. soot, manxman, connie, spaceQ Have a great day! Gerry, hope all is well! Ana
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: BrownEyedTigre]
#1212190
03/11/20 06:34 PM
03/11/20 06:34 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Hello everybody. Hope you're all doing well. We're having a pretty nice week. We were 78 degrees yesterday, and 83 today. I went and got my stitches out Tuesday, and went to Walmart and went and picked up Beau. Today I went to the park with the pups, and then worked out in the yard and garden bed. Tomorrow I'm going to Lowe's. They finally have their mulch on sale. I need about 16 bags of it. Yesterday I mowed my lawn for the first time, so I officially declare the Summer season here. I also spread weed and feed on the lawn. We have a bunch of rain forecast for Friday and Saturday. There's all my news for anyone that cares, although I don't think my boys read this thread. Congratulations Connie on your new status!! Have a super Thursday Ana, Family, Connie, Gerry, L4l, Soot, Space Quest Fan, & Manxman. joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: Joe's Diner March 7th
[Re: gymcandy1]
#1212221
03/12/20 07:36 AM
03/12/20 07:36 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,055 winter springs fl.
connie
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,055
winter springs fl.
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Good morning, have a Lovely Thursday. Robert is taking me to Tampa for a 3 day weekend, it's a late Birthday present. We will be going to Bush Gardens, the Zoo, and Sunken Gardens. We leave Sat. morning, I'm excited. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC.
Connie
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