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Joe's Sunday the Last of April #1215925
04/26/20 06:07 PM
04/26/20 06:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,971
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,971
Calera, Oklahoma
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

~Somebody~
~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: What room has no walls

A: A mushroom!
~~

Q. What did the egg say to the frying pan?

A. “You crack me up”
~~

Sister Marry was truly a religious woman. Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan. Sister Mary happily walked two blocks to the closest gas station filled up the bedpan with gas and headed back to her car.

Luck would have it that as Sister Mary started tipping the gas into the fuel tank, the traffic light turned red and she had quite a large audience witnessing the spectacle.

Just when she finished pouring in the last drops of gas a fellow opened up his window and hollered, “I swear! If that car starts I’m becoming a religious man!”
~~

Anne went away to college and promptly became an avid animal right activist. When she came home for the Holidays she noticed her mother wearing a beautiful genuine fur coat.

“Oh Mom,” Anne exclaimed in a disapproving tone, “some animal must have suffered terribly just so you can get a fur coat.”

“ANNE!” Screamed her Mom Aghast ” I SEND YOU AWAY TO COLLEGE AND YOU COME BACK TALKING LIKE THAT?!

HOW DARE YOU TALK THAT WAY ABOUT YOUR DAD!!!”
~~

Becky was 73 and just got her first computer. After her son spent over 2 hours teaching her how to use it, she was sure she knew everything there was to know about computers. Unfortunately though, one day she couldn’t get it to start so she promptly called an IT guy to come over and take a look at it.

The IT guy managed to fix the issue in a few minutes and was on his way. Becky was proud when she overheard the IT guy on the phone with his boss telling him about the issue, she was sure it meant it was a serious issue and she was sure she took care of it the right way.

“Excuse me if you don’t mind me asking,” asked Becky to the man on his way out. “I couldn’t help overhearing you on the phone with your boss. What exactly is an Id ten T problem? Just so I can tell my son.”

The man smiled, took out a pen, “it stands for this: I-D -1-0-T”.
~~

Rosanne a beautiful young foreigner walked into a small clothing store in the mall with her english speaking fiance.

“Excuse me,” said her fiance with just a touch of an accent, “would it be ok with you if my Fiancee tried on the dress in the window?”

“Listen” said the owner after just a brief pause, “business has been slow here for a while now, if you’re fine with her changing in the window, let her go on ahead, maybe it will bring in a few customers.”
~~

As a popular local politician I always try to help out whenever I can. So that’s how it came to be that when a fellow came up to me in a hotel lobby the other day and asked me for a small favor I was more then happy to oblige.

“Hi,” said the fellow, introducing himself as Bob Smith. “I’m having a very important business meeting in a few minutes, and it’s very important that I impress them . If you can just come over during our meeting and say hello I would be forever indebted to you!”

So that’s how a few minutes later, I found myself walking over to the fellow with a big smile on my face, “Hi Bob!” I said.

“I barely got the words out of my mouth when Bob looked up with an annoyed expression, “DON’T BOTHER ME NOW CHRIS. CAN’T YOU SEE I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT MEETING?!
~~

“You name it, we’ll make it!” Was the big sign outside the new restaurant on 13th Avenue. “There is no food we can’t make for you!”

“Excuse me sir”, said a man with a heavy Russian accent to the waiter, “I vould like please, A Garden Salad vith Russian dressing.”

“RUSSIAN DRESSING?! Screamed the head cook, “I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF RUSSIAN DRESSING! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO GIVE THIS GUY? “Don’t worry,” said the owner to the cook, “I’ll take care of everything, you just make the salad.”

And that’s how it happened that two minutes later the waiter walked out with a big Garden Salad and a picture of a Russian man putting on his pants.
~~

The one thing that drove me absolutely crazy about my boyfriend Bill was the way he drove. He would insist on driving in the dead center of a two way intersection, and no matter how much I complained, sulked, and threatened, nothing made a dent.

The only consolation I found was the thought that at least the cars coming towards us, were staying in their lane. Sure enough, I soon resigned myself to my fate, but I would still cringe all too often while on the road.

Well, the day finally came when I was to meet Bill’s family. We headed to the small hick town that he was from in Pennsylvania, and had a grand ol’ time with his folks. It was when we went out for a drive in the old family pick up that I learned that things could get quite a bit worse.

“Don’t worry about my husband’s driving in the center of the road,” said Bill’s mom with a big friendly smile, as we headed onto a two way intersection. “THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE DOES AROUND HERE!!”
~~

I live in Montreal, and for that reason my children have never been to a beach before.

On our first family trip down South we decided one of the first things we were going to do was head to a beach. As soon as we saw the sand my kids went running off excitedly looking for seashells.

“Mom!” screamed my five year old, running towards me with his hands full. “I found hundreds of them right next to each other!”

With that he excitedly opened up his little hands revealing a handful of shells,

not sea shells,

but pistachio nut shells!
~~

I was in a pet store picking up some pet food for my dog when I overheard the following conversation. A cute girl peaks over the counter and politely asks the sales representative. “I’m interested in buying a rabbit.” “Oh sure we’ve got lots of rabbits” gushed the motherly sales representative.

“Do you have any specific color in mind? We’ve got some adorable white Bunnies down this isle.” The lady exclaimed.

“Oh” said the cute girl with a wave of her hand, “I really don’t think my boa constrictor would care about what color it is!”
~~

“Hi Sarah, listen I only have a minute. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Yes? Ok great! We’ll speak.”

Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy. Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch.

After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed. Raquel listened for a few seconds, grimly pursed her lips, and turned to her date, “I feel terrible, but my Grandmother is terribly sick, and I must go home now .”

“No problem!” Said her date with a big grin, “my dog was about to be run over in a few minutes anyway!”
~~

Hello everyboomie. wave2


I hope everyone is well today........and tomorrow and the next day for that matter. wink


I started a new project yesterday since I finished my deck. Now I'm working on my storage/shop. bravo


I've been needing to get it cleaned up and organized forever. I had to rewire two electrical outlets to get them situated withing the wall instead of being strung along the outside of it. rolleyes


My dad was an electrician, but I prefer not messing with it. It's shocking how little I know about electrical wiring. cool


Then I put up a couple of half sheets of pegboard above the workbench. Now I can properly hang my tools up. dance


I have a lot more to do out there. I have to just get one area situated, and then move to the next. yes


I enjoy doing it as long as the temperatures outside don't get above 75. shocked


I need stuff to do anyway.


I hope you all have a happy, safe week. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/26/20 06:20 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215926
04/26/20 06:42 PM
04/26/20 06:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
Thanks so much for starting a new week, Joe! Wishing you all a great one!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215931
04/26/20 07:34 PM
04/26/20 07:34 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215932
04/26/20 09:01 PM
04/26/20 09:01 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hi Joe sherlock, Thanks much better than yesterday hope you stay well too.
Sounds like you've really got a top storage shop now. thumbsup
Thank you for making me laugh, it really brightens the day.
Take care all boomers penguin

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215951
04/27/20 06:55 AM
04/27/20 06:55 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, be safe. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Donuts, and Toast in the NC. hug


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215962
04/27/20 08:42 AM
04/27/20 08:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
shocked The Last of April! Oh my but time is flying. The last week of April and start of May... I am doing AOK too. Congratulations on finishing your deck and have fun with your shed; watch out for bare wires. I'll be doing a little maintenance on the waterbed today, my workspace and our garage which I think is worse than your shed think

Hey Ho Ana ... have a great day!

Enjoy your shows Family

Howdy Hello TaintedFury ... wishing you blessed days 'down under' with your mom and sister in the days ahead.

Good morning Connie ... I'm ready for eggs, grits, bacon and toast in the NC

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave2

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215974
04/27/20 10:40 AM
04/27/20 10:40 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,468
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Moderator
looney4labs  Offline
Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,468
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

We have a gorgeous day in AL. I wish you all could come on down. I'll be heading out for a walk to take advantage of it as soon as I finish my book cooking!

You all have a great day! wavegirl


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1215988
04/27/20 12:44 PM
04/27/20 12:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,255
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,255
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Family, Taintedfury, Connie, soot, L4L and everyone. Hope you are all safe and well.


lab Happy Day! lab


Gerry
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216015
04/27/20 08:14 PM
04/27/20 08:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 24,560
Unionville
manxman Offline
True Blue Boomer
manxman  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 24,560
Unionville
Good Monday evening everyone. It was a great day today for yard work. smile Unfortunately rain tomorrow. frown


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216017
04/27/20 08:18 PM
04/27/20 08:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Ho Gerry ... Good evening to you ... hope your day was a good one yes

Good evening manXman ... glad you got the yard work out of the way before the rain!

sleep well everyone

sleep


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216024
04/28/20 03:26 AM
04/28/20 03:26 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Hello Connie hamster Sounds very nice....yummy! broccoli12

G'day Soot blackkitty Same to you, much appreciated praise Take care & be safe thumbsup


Hiya Manxman carEnjoy the weather while you can and keep dry & warm shiver


Hello Looney lab I hope you finished your book & had a wonderful day out monky


Hiya Kaki's Sister puppy Hope you had a lovely day, be safe and well. hug

Take care Everyone and Happy Gaming all penguin

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216027
04/28/20 07:03 AM
04/28/20 07:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
Good morning, stay safe everyone. Danish, Donuts, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hug


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216028
04/28/20 07:55 AM
04/28/20 07:55 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216030
04/28/20 08:45 AM
04/28/20 08:45 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 79,043
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning! We had a crazy stormy evening last night and all my wildlife food bowls were overflowing with water, the deepest is over 1.5 inches so there was a lot of rain! More storms coming this afternoon so I may have a few rainy walks this afternoon.

family, enjoy!

connie, how is the painting going?

Taintedfury, have a wonderful day!

soot, hope your honey do list isn't too long!

manxman, hope you got all your yardwork done. I have to have 3 trees removed because they died. frown

L4L, glad your weather is good! It feels like it's been an exceptionally long winter!

Off to work I go!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216042
04/28/20 12:43 PM
04/28/20 12:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Ho TaintedFury...sleep well and have a blessed day tomorrow

Good morning Connie ... I am so ready for eggs, grits and bacon happydance

Enjoy your shows Family

Ana, my honey-do list will keep me busy for a number of life times, but that's the magic of a home wink

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

Sounds like we're starting to discuss transition operations ... safety is a "thinking game" don't short change yourself!!!!

stay safe everyone wave

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216052
04/28/20 04:14 PM
04/28/20 04:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,287
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,287
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great week Boomers.

Thanks for the jokes Joe. The ID Ten T was my favorite. lol


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216063
04/28/20 06:48 PM
04/28/20 06:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Hey Ho SpaceQF laugh

When I worked in IT we encountered IT Ten T issues on a regular basis ... it was our humor for the day yes

Good night everyone sleep

Good morning TaintedFury wave

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216085
04/28/20 09:22 PM
04/28/20 09:22 PM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Ana thanks so much, I hope you do to wavegirl

family good to see your still watching your court show take care hug


Goodmorning Soot blackkitty very kind of you & wishing you a bless full day as well, take care car

Yep you too Space Quest Fan , Happy gaming monky


urock penguin

Last edited by Taintedfury; 04/28/20 09:25 PM.
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216108
04/29/20 06:54 AM
04/29/20 06:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, stay safe. Ana the painting is going slow, but will get done. Danish, Donuts, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hug


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216151
04/29/20 07:50 PM
04/29/20 07:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Wonderful day ... a little wet, but that's OK as water is the elixir of life...

Wishing you a wonderful day TaintedFury yes

Connie, I couldn't have made it through the day without your NC fare ... how about a danish before I hit the sack thanks

Have a wonderful evening everyone laugh

I'm off to the hospital tomorrow morning before the the crack of dawn to drop Little Soot off for some tests ... see you all in the AM yes

L4L hearts

Stay safe Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave

lab





Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216159
04/29/20 08:18 PM
04/29/20 08:18 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
family Offline
BAAG Specialist
family  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,525
marietta,georgia
watching court shows.

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216186
04/30/20 03:28 AM
04/30/20 03:28 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 926
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Soot thanks so much, take care... thanks

Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216198
04/30/20 06:40 AM
04/30/20 06:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 12,402
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, be safe. Danish, Donuts, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, and Toast in the NC. hug


Connie
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216221
04/30/20 10:50 AM
04/30/20 10:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,469
Mt Prospect, Illinois
butterflybabe Offline
Addicted Boomer
butterflybabe  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,469
Mt Prospect, Illinois
All this rain is hard on my dog; has a very hard time doing his 'business'. Coaxed him to find someplace to lift his leg which he finally did.
He's so eager for company, the other day, while waiting for delivery person to hand me my lunch, he sneaked out the door to greet her, then went off down the driveway. Freedom! lab The person was kind enough to fetch him for me. Now I'm very cautious about opening the door too wide for too long. Poor little bugger! puppy

Playing games, staying sane and healthy woozy


Life's a puzzle; one piece at a time.
Re: Joe's Sunday the Last of April [Re: gymcandy1] #1216257
04/30/20 06:05 PM
04/30/20 06:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 31,620
Usually in an Alabama Tree
Thanks TaintedFury ... you have a wonderful Friday today

Good evening Connie ... I'll have a Danish from the NC this evening

Yeah ButterFlyBabe ... I know what you mean, there are times when I would open the door for our guys to go do their business when it's raining and they take one look outside and turn around lol

L4L hearts

Have a wonderful evening Joe Ana Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary TaintedFury (T.G.I.F.!!) and anyone else who pops in to say hi wave

lab


Dan
To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Stay Smart & Stay Safe
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