I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, and it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that ... —

~Steve Martin~
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Today's headlines are far too depressing. Here's a few for you that are a little more on the fun side.


Headline from the Seattle PostIntelligencer: “Mom Warns Son to ‘Watch Out for Idiots,’ Rear‑Ends His Motorcycle.”
~~

A few months ago, Hamas 
“arrested” a dolphin for being an 
Israeli spy. Readers of Reason 
magazine came up with titles for
 the film this action might inspire:

• Orcapussy

• Free Schmuelly

• Goldflipper

• The Porpoise-

Driven Life

• Dolphinfidel
~~

Spotted in the classifieds: “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so 
I don’t have to spend all eternity 
beside my ex!”
~~

The Best of The Onion Magazine Covers

• “I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work

• The 100 Worst Senators

• The World’s 10 Most Powerful Women: We Make Them Discuss Fashion and Lindsay Lohan Source: The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers That Transformed an Undeserving World (Little, Brown)
~~

“Now hiring,” read the classified ad. “Cemetery superintendent. The ideal candidate must be able to supervise in a fast-paced environment.”
~~

This Classified ad Speaks Volumes:

“Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.”
~~

Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:

• Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably Source: Gettysburg Area Merchandiser

• Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts Source: Topeka Capital-Journal

• Free Vain Screening Source: Boston Globe

• Free rent in exchange for elderly woman Source: 11points.com
~~

We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more public than others, 
like these real newspaper typos:

“Here the bridal couple stood, 
facing the floral setting, and exchanged cows.” Modesto News-Herald (California)

“It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud.” Holland Evening Sentinel (Michigan)

“Mrs. ____ fell down stairs at her home this morning, breaking her myhodudududududududosy, and suffered painful injuries.” Ohio paper

“A headline in an item in the 
Feb. 15th edition incorrectly stated ‘Stolen Groceries.’ It should have read: ‘Homicide.’” Enquirer-Bulletin From Just My Typo, by Drummond Moir 
(Three Rivers Press)
~~

Think the comments on Internet posts are tough? See what happened when the Washington Post asked its readers to write intentionally angry letters to actual headlines:

Headline: 20,000 Pound Pavement to Help Homeless
Response: “Are you people idiots? What the homeless need are homes, not ten tons of additional pavement!”

Headline: Maryland Agrees to 
Tobacco Settlement
Response: “Well, that’s all we 
need—an entire settlement of people devoted to their cancer sticks. What’s next, a drunk-driving commune?”

Headline: C.C. United Se Une 
Hoy a Campana Solidaria Pro 
Centroamerica

Response: “I was disgusted with 
the sloppy spelling for [this] article. There were so many typos, I couldn’t understand a word.” From gcfl.net
~~

File These Headlines Under: We Don't Even Want to Know.

•Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker

•FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant

•Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party Looking for Herself

•Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby

Sources: Ottawa Citizen (Canada), ctpost.com, Associated Press, Toronto Sun
~~

A headline in my local newspaper: “Appleton Airport May Soon Be Known as Appleton Airport.” Allison Nastoff, Brookfield, Wisconsin
~~

Journalists and editors on deadline make the occasional error. Some are funnier than others:

• NBC reported that American students rank internationally at: “26th math, 21th science, 17th reading.”

• Britain’s Sky News showed the 
importance of punctuation: “Top 
stories: World leaders at Mandela tribute, Obama–Castro handshake and same-sex marriage date set.” •

A retraction from Wired: “A previous version of this story incorrectly quoted Dropbox cofounder Drew Houston saying ‘anyone with nipples’ instead of ‘anyone with a pulse.’” Sources: jonathanturley.org, Washington Times, poynter.org
~~

First Microbes Breathed Sulfur Before It Was Cool , Washington Post
~~

Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop Daily Echo, England
~~

Marshall County Sheriff’s Candidate Disputes Report of His Own Death WAFF (Huntsville, Alabama)
~~

Misadventures in headline writing from around the world:

City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells —The Herald-Palladium (St. Joseph, Michigan)

Case of Innocent Man Freed 
After Spending 18 Years in Prison Proves Texas System Works —Lubbock Avalanche-Journal (Texas)

British Left Waffles on Falklands —The Guardian

At Last Singer Etta James Dies —dailymail.co.uk
~~

• County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds (Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon)

• 4-H Training Scheduled for Shooting Instructors (Pine City Pioneer, Minnesota)

• Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances (Winchester Star, Virginia)

• Police: DUI Charge for Woman Celebrating End of Earlier DUI 
Suspension (Chicago Tribune)

• Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons (Tulsa World, Oklahoma)
~~

Howdy folks.


Is everyone having a great weekend?


You could not ask for nicer weather here. I had to run to Walmart for food today, because I don't do very well without it.


I took Missy parking first, and then to Walmart. Back home I put everything away, and then did some working out/exercising.


Ana you are a monster! If I did what you do I'd either be in great shape, or dead.


I took over 10,000 steps today.....................and I was pooped out.......to the max.


Congratulations on your kitty catch.


Have a fantastic week everyone.


joe

chores and court shows even perry mason.

Joe, I don't mind walking, which I guess is good given I do it for a living. 10,000 steps is great, my hubby is doing a happy dance when he hits his 6K goal. Hope your weather is good this week for more outside activity!

family, enjoy!

Now that the kittens are caught, tomorrow is the start of coyote trapping. We have two very mangy coyotes that require immediate attention or they won't make it. Wish us luck we can save them in time!

Have a great day all!

Good morning, enjoy the start of a new week. Good luck catching the coyotes, Ana. Lunch and Netflix with a friend, then meeting at the Eagles tonight. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Good afternoon and magnifent Monday

Had a great run this morning. It's a gorgeous day out there. Soot had a vet appointment today which went well. Then home to load a new book on my Ipod.

Need to go up and do weights today.

Ya'll have a great one!

Joe, thank you so much for these headlines! Maybe I just needed it, but I laughed my head off! One of my favorite stories of 'that's not what was meant', happened during Bush's 2nd run for office. My work space was located near the ESL office. One of the tutor held a 'conversation' class (usually attended by older community members) that day and later came by to share her laugh for the day. Apparently, she had started the class by offering time for questions. A woman asked what a 'Bush Woman' was. The tutor began to explain that it was a term from African culture, but the woman and her friends shook their heads. When the tutor asked where they was those words, the women explained it was on a button some women in the college hallway were wearing. And so the hour was spent talking about American politics.

I had a tough start to my day today. At my vet's suggestion, I took Huey to an animal eye doctor. His left eye is slightly dilated, teary and the lips droopy. He shows no sign that it is affecting him at all; still fun of vitality and energy. No evidence of glaucoma. No response to the test for lazy eye. So he either has some kind of infection or something going on in his brain. I have meds to treat him for the latter, and was warned to stay alert for signs of altered behavior. I'm praying he has no adverse reaction to the meds and the thing just goes away.

Butterflybabe, hope Huey's eye is soon 100% normal.

same thing.

Happy Monday everyone ... busy week kicked off today!

Have a wonderful evening.

Good morning, busy day today. Nails, lunch, then a haircut. Butterflybabe, positive vibes on the way. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Hope Huey is ok, butterflybabe!

connie, have a great day!

soot, hope your busy week goes smoothly!

family, enjoy!

L4L, have a great day! Great that Lil soot had a good vets visit!

Hi ho...hi ho...you know the rest.

It's a beautiful day in AL. I'm off to the park to listen to my book and go round and round and round.

Have a great day ya'll

Still not sure what is going on with Huey. Yesterday, doc said he may have lazy eye or something going on in his brain. He said there's a nerve in the brain that is attached to the spine, ear and eye. Doc ran a couple of tests but didn't get the response he was looking for, or it was inconsistent. So, treating it as a possible infection with a steroid, and dry eye meds. Steroid made him so out of it he could barely life his head or open his eyes. He slept all night and didn't wake me to give him breakfast. I skipped the meds this morning so he'd be able do his bathroom stuff; he was alert and happy enough to go off for a play day. It may go away on it's own. Doc told to watch for signs that his ear is bothering him or he just doesn't act normal, which would mean the need for an MRI. I'm hoping this is a 'glitch' that will go away. If not, I'll get the MRI done and take it from there.

Otherwise, glad to have warmer weather and sunshine around for as long as it will last. Hoping it will stay long enough for association to get a bunch of outside work done on residences before winter hits.

L4L, beautiful day here too! The dogs are loving it! Enjoy!

Hope they can find out what is going with Huey, butterflybabe! I hate steroids. My dog peed up the whole house when he was on it years ago,

Back to work I go.....I had a little break in between.

same thing.

Good evening everyone ... another successful day behind me

ButterFlyBabe ... will keep Huey in my prayers

Sleep well everyone

Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Hey Ho and good afternoon everyone

Happy Camel Day 🐫

Hello Connie ... hope you enjoyed your day ... I'll have a Danish for an afternoon treat

L4L

Have a quiet afternoon Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

same thing.

Good morning, enjoy your day. Thoughts and Prayers to those in the Gulf coast. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Toast in the NC.

Howdy hello Connie and Family ... it's good to see both of you

Family ... I hope everything was good for you

Connie, I agree ... thoughts and prayers for those in Delta's path ... how about a cuppa and toast in the NC for me

The weekend is closing in on us

L4L

Have a wonderful evening Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi

same thing.

Yesterday we got the coyote trap up, no luck yet on catching it, but it's day one. I hope we can catch it before it's too late.
We got a new fence installed today and they did an amazing job! It looks fantastic!
I have a boarder here since yesterday and another coming Saturday. Full house!

Hope you all are doing well!

Ana

Good morning, enjoy your day. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, Bacon, Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, and Cinnamon Toast in the NC.

Hmmm a new fence Ana ... does that mean no more critters visiting your back door? Take care

Connie, I'll have a Danish to go ... I've got to dash off to work

Family, enjoy your shows ... good luck with chores

L4L

TGIF good morning Joe Ana TaintedFury Family SpaceQuestFan Gerry Connie L4L manXman ButterFlyBabe Trail_Mystic Mary and anyone else who pops in to say hi