TGIF
#856183
12/13/12 07:58 PM
12/13/12 07:58 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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"Plodding wins the race." Aesop ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home. "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car! The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car- jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. AH, SENIOR MOMENTS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!" For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!" Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car". Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Good morning everyboomie.  gymcandy here, coming to you live from Mom's. Live but very very tired. I can barely stay awake.  So.. I hope you all have a fantastic Friday.  Whenever Friday gets here that is.  I know it will be all toooo early for me at 3:30am. In the mean time, or the nice time if you don't want mean, have a super Thursday evening!  I'm outta here.  joe
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856185
12/13/12 08:05 PM
12/13/12 08:05 PM
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440 47.79N, 122.24W
BobH
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
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Good jokes today Joe! Especially liked the Car-jacking and Coldwater ones.
Feels strange to say good morning as I have not left work yet. I have "tomorrow", Friday, off so my long weekend starts when I get out of here.
Good morning to Joe and all that come.
Bob As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856199
12/13/12 09:53 PM
12/13/12 09:53 PM
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243 Delaware, USA
SharonB
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,243
Delaware, USA
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Great Jokes, Joe! The car one really had me laughing. It's not Friday yet, but in the morning I will be doing laundry. That is my priority for the day. Have a great Friday GameBoomers!
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856207
12/13/12 10:39 PM
12/13/12 10:39 PM
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379 Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus
BAAG Specialist
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BAAG Specialist
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
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Have a terrific day Joe, BobH, SharonB and all who come in after me. It's late Thursday night for me as well, but I figured I may as well post now just in case I don't have time in the morning. I have to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning for work. Not fun, but at least it means I get off earlier. Okay, off to sleep now. Have a terrific Friday, everyone.
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.
Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856236
12/14/12 01:22 AM
12/14/12 01:22 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380
In the Naughty Corner
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Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon and Venus! It will be a busy and fun day filled with nieces and nephews. I hope you all have a happy day! Ana
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856247
12/14/12 03:46 AM
12/14/12 03:46 AM
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027 Greece
Haroula
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
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Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon,Venus,Ana and all who follow Have all a nice day
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856250
12/14/12 04:59 AM
12/14/12 04:59 AM
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379 Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus
BAAG Specialist
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BAAG Specialist
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
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Have fun, Ana. Have a great day, Haroula. Well, it's work whoosh time. Hope everyone has a terrific Friday.
Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.
Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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Re: TGIF
[Re: venus]
#856252
12/14/12 05:24 AM
12/14/12 05:24 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145 Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn
BAAG Specialist
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BAAG Specialist
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
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Good morning Boomers So glad it's Friday I hope everyone has a great day!!Coffee is brewing
I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.
Sue
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856273
12/14/12 08:27 AM
12/14/12 08:27 AM
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262 Massachusetts
GBC
Graduate Boomer
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Graduate Boomer
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
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Good Morning Boomers Hello to everyone! Need coffee and Danish. Got a few errands to run this morning after a nice walk with the dogs. Wishing everyone a super good day! Be back later on.
Gail
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Re: TGIF
[Re: GBC]
#856306
12/14/12 10:54 AM
12/14/12 10:54 AM
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450 Southern California
Darlene
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
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Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! A very early morning for you. Hope your day goes easy peasy! Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! Cold and rainy here.... Son and DIL have company Christmas party this evening, so we have our grandbabies! Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Woohoo and booyah! Have an easy peasy day!
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856321
12/14/12 11:55 AM
12/14/12 11:55 AM
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625 northern Wisconsin
auntiegram
Adept Boomer
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Adept Boomer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
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Joe I remember those early morning wakeups but it has been awhile now. One day you will be able to sleep in. Thanks for the laughs this morning. Best way to start the day....laughing. Bob how nice to have a three day weekend....enjoy! Haroula have a nice day! venus may work fly and go well. Cailyn, Gerry, Gail(have a wonderful walk and fun with the errands), Connie(thanks for the treats and have a fun day whatever you do). Darlene enjoy those grandbabies as they grow up sooooo fast! May work fly and all go smoothly!! Ana enjoy all the company and the fun filled weekend!!! Happy you know what!! Space have a lovely day! No plans till taxi time. Nan
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856325
12/14/12 12:09 PM
12/14/12 12:09 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Fantastic Friday ya'll I'm running late. We set 2 alarm clocks last night but I managed not to hear either. Off to take Keoki to the vet for his yearly visit. Who is going to see the Hobbit? Hubby, son, and I are going to join the throngs tonight.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856330
12/14/12 12:24 PM
12/14/12 12:24 PM
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848 San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde
BAAG Specialist
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BAAG Specialist
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
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Friday already? I'm still stuck on Thursday, or maybe Wednesday. Excitement again though on the sidewalk project. After Wednesday's digging and pulling out fences, etc, they actually dug in half of one side of the street for the sidewalk and gutter. THEN it rained, (we got 1.6 inches!) and the gutter area filled with water so they had a nice long pond there. Skipped yesterday, but are back to day in force with loads of trucks. Maybe they will drain the water and actually put in the cement. It dries in about 1/2 hour so it goes so fast. Oh boy.
Critters are still cuddling up in places outside trying to keep warm and dry. Loads of spots that I've created for them. Raccoons, I am happy to say, have not been here for 4 days now. As soon as I'm SURE that mom and babies are gone for the season, I'll block the access under the deck and make it less inviting. Cute little guys, but dangerous. Amazingly they get along with the possums and feral cats. Can't figure out how nature does that. Each takes their turn at the feeders and water dishes. Wow. We humans should learn from them!
Off to watch the sidewalk progress.
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856333
12/14/12 12:43 PM
12/14/12 12:43 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380
In the Naughty Corner
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Good morning, off to the city to the pick up one nephew, then to the airport to get the other. I giot them all passes for my club so they go hang out for the afternoon with Peter and then my niece will be here later. I am making a huge batch of Chicken parmesan with sprouted grain pasta for dinner. Hope your day is blessed...have to run. Ana
Don't feed the Trolls
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856372
12/14/12 03:58 PM
12/14/12 03:58 PM
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402 Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper
Addicted Boomer
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Addicted Boomer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
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Hey Sorta, I do those things for my animal friends too. Right on!!! Couple years ago I had baby opossums and mom running around my house and the babies would nip my ankles, they trusted me. Out of the whole year, that's what I remember. I fed them cat food Fancy Feast every night. They are a joy.
And Ana I'm gonna pack up my family and you can pick us up at airport tomorrow AM. We'll bring the champaign (spelling) and make front page. Really have a grand time and get plenty of sleep too.
Kind of gray lizard-dy day but it's warm good.
Off to do dishes and then escape to Oblivion and then on to Amazon and buy up all the shooters they have.
Lookin' toward the weekend all
I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856413
12/14/12 05:25 PM
12/14/12 05:25 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905 Alabama
looney4labs
Sonic Boomer
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Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
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Be safe, Nan. Back from the vet. Keoki tested positive for Ehrlichia, but his platelets are fine which means he either was just exposed, or he has it but it hasn't progressed. So we will be keeping a weather eye on him. It is passed by ticks and the other dogs all tested negative. No more walks on the bike trail. Have fun Ana.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856419
12/14/12 06:01 PM
12/14/12 06:01 PM
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029 the dusty desert
niteowl07
BAAG Specialist
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BAAG Specialist
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
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cold , rainy , and snowy here,trying to stay warm. nan , be careful driving ! well . i'm off to nap - been up since 5 ,because melodee thought it would be fun if i helped her play hide and seek with a leaf she found , then i couldn't get back to sleep . so now i need that nap - lol. stay warm , and safe , and have a great evening everyone !
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Re: TGIF
[Re: niteowl07]
#856433
12/14/12 07:17 PM
12/14/12 07:17 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073 Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1
OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
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OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
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Yahoo I'm home...home...home! Yahoo it rained here today for the first time in a year, it seems! Howdy everybody. I had a sleepless night at Mom's last night, and I'm ready to get a good night's sleep tonight. It's cold and rainy here, and that's alright with me, but we only got about a half inch when we needed 12 inches. It's been so dry here I was beginning to think it might never rain again. Now I need to go get my shower over. Tomorrow is another early day, but instead of getting up at 3:30, I get to sleep in until 5:30. I hope your day was a good one, and you are having a nice warm cozy evening. joe
Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/14/12 07:23 PM.
There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.
William Butler Yeats
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Re: TGIF
[Re: gymcandy1]
#856468
12/14/12 09:31 PM
12/14/12 09:31 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380 In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
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The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,380
In the Naughty Corner
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Do you hear that??? Shhhhh.....it's silence. The kids have all departed for the night to stay at my niece's new house and will return tomorrow morning to do it all again. Now I have to wrap presents and then I can actually take a moment for myself. I am really looking forward to it. The only bad part of the day was when my niece walked in my house unescorted and ran screaming across the living room to hug her cousins. I was in the kitchen cooking unaware she had pulled up and I heard her scream in excitement and the next thing I hear is her screaming ow and yelling at the dog. After all these years of hanging around my house she still doesn't get that I have watchdogs here, and if you run into my house screaming and lunge yourself at someone to hug them, you will get bit. In the 9 years I have had Merlin he has only given small warning nips that do not hurt but today he bit harder for a definite warning and he broke skin and gave her a large bruise. Okay...off to wrap so I have time to chill. Life is good...
Don't feed the Trolls
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