GAMEBOOMERS provides you with all the latest PC adventure computer games information, forum, walkthroughs, reviews and news.

GB Reviews

Latest & Upcoming Adventure Games

GB Annual Game Lists

GB Interviews

BAAGS

GB @ acebook

About Us

Walkthroughs

free games galore

Game Publishers & Developers

World of Adventure

Patches

GB @ witter

GameBoomers Store

Print Thread
Only a man would do this #873122
03/11/13 04:55 AM
03/11/13 04:55 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline OP
Addicted Boomer
Niki  Offline OP
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the Tazer

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching..
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had wet my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Niki] #873149
03/11/13 08:26 AM
03/11/13 08:26 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
rotfl rotfl wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Haroula] #873174
03/11/13 11:09 AM
03/11/13 11:09 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
rotfl Hilarious. bravo


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Niki] #873206
03/11/13 04:07 PM
03/11/13 04:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
I would never, ever do that.

Click to reveal..
At least not after reading what happened to him. smile


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Niki] #873220
03/11/13 07:09 PM
03/11/13 07:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 180
Barrackstadt, Arcadia
LeBelleRachael Offline
Settled Boomer
LeBelleRachael  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 180
Barrackstadt, Arcadia
He better recover the family jewels pretty quick or his wife wont be laughing anymore! Truly! sad


"Nobody murdered me. Or put me in a potato. Or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life."

GLaDOS

Re: Only a man would do this [Re: LeBelleRachael] #873264
03/12/13 12:53 AM
03/12/13 12:53 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
Homer6 Offline
BAAG Specialist
Homer6  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,588
Oklahoma, USA
rotfl rotfl rotfl I need a tissue to wipe away the tears. Hilarious.


If something gets your goat, it just proves you have a goat to get.
Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Niki] #873281
03/12/13 05:21 AM
03/12/13 05:21 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,363
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,363
Marlborough USA
lol Not a smart man Niki! lol


Gerry
Re: Only a man would do this [Re: Niki] #873343
03/12/13 11:49 AM
03/12/13 11:49 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,470
New York
Leeana Offline
Addicted Boomer
Leeana  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,470
New York
smile nice got a kick out of all of the lololol


'Worry looks around, sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'
Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

Moderated by  BrownEyedTigre, looney4labs 

Who's Online Now
2 registered members (oldbroad, hagatha), 29 guests, and 9 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Staff, Mod
Newest Members
JBTruth, sadmaskparty, spocksbrain, Dynamite7, nachtmusick
9293 Registered Users
Powered by UBB.threads™