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Joe's Saturdiner #1184530
04/26/19 06:33 PM
04/26/19 06:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,837
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 32,837
Calera, Oklahoma
When it comes 
to candy bars, the term fun-sized 
is misleading. There is nothing fun about your candy bar being ⅛ the size of a regular bar. You should call them what they are: 
“disappointment-sized.”

~Jimmy Kimmel~
`````````````````````````


Old Age Jokes



Q. How are stars like false teeth?

A. They both come out at night!

````

An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. “You’ve got to be kidding,” he said. “I’m almost 60 years old.” The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. “The tip’s for carding me,” he said. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. “Thanks,” he said. “Works every time.”

````

The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.

“How old are you?” a tenant asked.

“I’m 81 years old,” he answered.

The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”

````

Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four 
elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust:

Golden Girls, Interrupted

The Lavender Hair Mob

Indicting Miss Daisy

No Country for Old Women

The Social Security Network

````

As the hostess at the casino 
buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my 
husband, who would be joining me 
momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”

She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”

````

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

````

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

````

When a soldier came to the 
clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an 
attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination 
was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was 
I in there for?”

````

After trick-or-treating, 
a teen takes a shortcut home 
through the cemetery. Halfway across, he’s startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots 
an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.

“I thought you were a ghost,” 
says the relieved teen. “What are you 
doing working so late?”

“Oh, those idiots,” grumbles the old man. “They misspelled my name!”

````

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

````

“What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old cousin.

“Someone who will wear something just to look different,” I said. “They’ll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses.”

“Is Grandma a hipster?” he asked.

````

Good morning everyboomer. wave2


Welcome to the weekend!!! welcome


I hope you all have great plans for it, and have great weather to help enjoy your great plans. hamster


I did not have a good Friday, but I had a GREAT Friday. dance


It was a gorgeous day here, and I decided to go to the sod farm. We had a bunch of rain, and I could not resist the urge. I didn't want to mess my truck up after spending a half day cleaning it, but it was not very muddy out there. I drove across the pasture very slowly. wink


When I got back home I had no mud or grass on my running boards, or wheel wells. woot


I was able to find some stuff. I found a nice scraper first off, in the back corner. I dug around back there until I was sweating........like a greasy wash rag. rolleyes


I went back up in the flat, where the sod was cut. It's Bermuda grass,and it's growing back pretty fast, but I was able to a couple of small rough points, and then some more scrapers. Please sir, I'd like some more. pumpkin


No plans for Saturday except maybe to mow my lawn.


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 04/26/19 06:33 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184547
04/26/19 08:15 PM
04/26/19 08:15 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,840
marietta,georgia
family Online content
Addicted Boomer
family  Online Content
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,840
marietta,georgia
nothing.

Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184548
04/26/19 10:42 PM
04/26/19 10:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,077
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Administrator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 78,077
In the Naughty Corner
Well done Joe! You are a pro!

Family, i hope something fun pops up!

We are supposed to get 5 inches of snow today. lol I have one pup to walk and the rest of the day will be getting caught up on the computer work I have.
Have a happy day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184553
04/27/19 03:14 AM
04/27/19 03:14 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,129
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
True Blue Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
True Blue Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 24,129
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, family, Ana and everyone. Joe nice finds! Family how about a nice walk in the fresh air? Ana we are not getting snow but inches of rain!
spring Hope everyone has a Happy Saturday! spring


Gerry
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184554
04/27/19 03:38 AM
04/27/19 03:38 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Good morning Everyone wave2

Well it definately paid off for you Joe sherlockBig grats on your finds.

family lab wishing you a beautiful day and not too much rain but sunshine comes your way. spring

Kaki's Sister kittytry and keep dry happy Saturday. hug

Ana puppy happy puppy walking and may your computer work fly by....happy Saturday to you as well. dance

Last edited by Taintedfury; 04/27/19 03:40 AM.
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184557
04/27/19 05:05 AM
04/27/19 05:05 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,676
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Adept Boomer
connie  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 11,676
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, Bacon, and Biscuits in the NC. spring


Connie
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184558
04/27/19 06:06 AM
04/27/19 06:06 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,088
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,088
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Thanks for the jokes Joe. thumbsup Have a great weekend Boomers.


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184562
04/27/19 08:31 AM
04/27/19 08:31 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
G'day Space Quest Fan and Connie hope you both have a super weekend too:)

Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184571
04/27/19 10:36 AM
04/27/19 10:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,591
Usually in an Alabama Tree
soot Offline
Puzzled Moderator
soot  Offline
Puzzled Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 30,591
Usually in an Alabama Tree
woot Weekend! ! !

Hey Ho Joe ... congratulations on the points and scrapers ... I don't have any plans or maybe I do ... maybe we'll go to a ball game tonight ... that would be fun as the weather will be in the 60s and 70s and not the 90s or 100s lol

Family ... wishing you a blessed adventure today

Holy [blip] Ana ... that's crazy ... 5 inches ????

Gerry ... stay dry if you can

Sleep well TaintedFury and we'll see you again tomorrow

Morning Connie ... I'll have eggs, grits and biscuits in the NC please thanks

Hoping you have a great weekend too SpaceQuestFan

wave2


To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music
Re: Joe's Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #1184619
04/28/19 02:09 AM
04/28/19 02:09 AM
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
Taintedfury Offline
Settled Boomer
Taintedfury  Offline
Settled Boomer

Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 821
SEYMOUR VICTORIA, MELBOURNE AU...
G'day Soot thanks and wish a great weekend. wave2

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